So I've realised that I don't know what "frumpy" looks like...

[Blackden]

and therefore there's a very good chance that I am extremely frumpy.
I read the Boden thread with interest.

Can you please describe frumpy? Does it mean baggy and shapeless clothes? At my age I can't be wearing those 'BodyCon' type dresses (not got the figure for them either )
Or can you link me to some frumpy stuff because I just can't visualise it.

And, what's a 'wrong side of 45' woman to do? How can I avoid looking like mutton but not look frumpy?

Can someone tell me if I am frumpy? I think I am.

I am SAHM, size 14, I wear boden/ monsoon/ white stuff tunics or dresses over skinny jeans or leggings most days, with contrasting scarves. Have huge boobs, no waist and shorter tops always look horrid for this reason. I can't wear any kind of jacket at the labels make me look too broad in the shoulder. Relatively slim legs but not very tall.

Have no idea what shoes are good. I wear uggs all the time in the winter and ballet flats in summer. Can't wear heels any more.

I do have good handbags though!

Anyone any advice? Fashion mags are great, but seem to be for younger skinny women.

Labels= lapels

Yikes those Birkenstock things are awful. I don't think even my mum would wear them, and she favours a comfy shoe.

Mrs Applepants I don't think you sound frumpy. I'm 33 and wear similar clothes to you, and while I don't feel 'trendy' I feel comfortable and put together most of the time.

Is there anywhere we can send our pictures and people will assess the level of frumpiness?

I (still) don't think I'm frumpy, but I do fit the description. Maybe I should just start a 'frumpy pride' thread?

Perhaps like a frumpy or not site?

Miss Mogwai, you too will be doomed to look at those Birkenstocks every time you visit Amazon now

Frumpy has nothing to do with bootcuts v skinnies, White Stuff v NaP, and has everything to do with just not caring about style. Not caring about hair, skin, teeth, make up, clothes in general. Buying lots of cheap clothes because they'll do, with no plan or thought about style. Old, misshapen, faded clothes.
A stylish woman mentioned recently about husbands going to work and seeing smartly dressed, groomed women. What do they come home to? Make some effort!

Nothing wrong at all with boot cuts but as with anything, it just depends on how they're worn. Too short, with frumpy boots and a fleece, then yes, they're going too look frumpy. However, worn with high heels or wedges and a fitted top or jacket they can look great.

I have to admit some frumpy people give me the idea that they have more important things in their minds than worrying about clothes/style.

And if I was single that would be something I'd look for in a man! (I'm sure you can guess how DH looks. A bit extreme even for my standards :)

Frumpy is different to ungroomed. Things I avoid as I wouldn't want to look frumpy: knee length A-line skirts, big prints, cotton knit tops which on initial purchase look fine, but lose their shape and colour with washing, shoes with block heels. Blossoming - I see many badly presented women heading off to work. It's worse in summer, when women seem to think they can throw a Zara jacket over a summer dress and pretend they look business like. Awful, just awful.

Nostaranise - all depends on the ballet pumps boots etc you choose what you put them with and how you carry yourself.

I'm not generally very judgy but I'm afraid I really do think waterfall cardis are frumpy - though no doubt there are some people who look OK in them.

Also do wear patterns sometimes - mainly on dresses, tend to go for plain or striped tops - but not on the grounds that stains don't show on them.

To avoid frumpy I'd say visit Zara for a mix of stylish upto date fashion, casual and smart. If the sizes don't suit get the basics elsewhere but I do think M&S is still ok for basics and limited collection weekend is good - bought some lavendar skinny jeans just like topshop but with a cut to suit a slightly bigger tum (am a 12 and not a tiny 15 year old girl basically!). Women can loose confidence in their body after kids and forget what's fashionable I felt that way after maternity clothes and small babies but I've got teens now and wouldn't wear same stuff but still check out the same stores for ideas - you don't have to shop at Next as soon as your waters break! Staple non frumpy look would be a blazer and skinny jeans (if you can't wear that style jean try a straight cut fit perhaps Gap) with flat pumps or heels for night and a layered/drapey tops.A good tailored wool coat for winter - don't always choose black maybe camel and you will feel smart everyday. Frumpy Per Una 100% or too much frill or detail or jewellery - trying to hard. Tone it down keep it simple. I love clothes - can you tell!!

Like ruralmums ideas in general but on blazers - because I have a really large bust - they are one of the frumpiest of all garments on me ! I look like an old style headmistress .

Just shows that knowing what suits you is one of most important things as lots of people have said.

MrsMogwai, thank you, I am aiming for put together rather than trendy.

My DM is the frumpiest person I know. Every morning she picks an outfit, ether a skirt that is mid calf, she will only wear this length, any longer and she might trip up over it any shorter and you might see the huge lumps she believes she has at the top of her knees or the jeans circa 1993, they are the Mum jeans from the earlier link, no joke. In fact her chosen skirt length cuts across the widest part of her calf, looks awful. I think she bought up most of C&A's Yessica tops before they shut, or very safe T-shirts, think BHS with tone on tone embroidery. Her clothes fit, go together, but more suit some one 20 years older. Her hair is so dated, she spends time, product hairspray and mouse and a heated tongs to lift it from her head. Shoes all have an inch and a half heal, usually a plain court shoe with a round toe. She always does her make up, very bland, safe.
So she does put some effort in on a daily basis. I know plenty of people around her age who look fab, she just will not update anything. That is frumpy.
I love those berkinstocks

Agree - about updating, not about your DM , whpo I don't know.

'who'!

^ That's a good site - thanks for the link.

Definitely not frumpy!

I think Purty's site proves a point. Some of those clothes look absolutely dreadful IMO (cardigans 9, 10 and 11 for instance). Most people would look awful in those and I wouldn't even look at them twice in a shop.

HOWEVER there are women that can carry that look. Tall, slim, beautiful. But then they suit everything.

On 95% of women those baggy tops would look really bad.

...and as for the draw string shorts

Start with the basics -- a bra that fits and makes you think of yourself as glamorous. Get a few of them. After that, you'll find things fit you better and you'll have the confidence to look for clothes that flatter you. A good bra can take inches off your tummy and pear shaped bits.

Get some perfume that you really love even if it's expensive.

Do up your eyes with mascara at the very least every day and put some blusher on.

Get a nice haircut.

After all that, the clothes will fall into place.

Shoes -- if you find yourself emotionally drawn to them, pick something else that kind of scares you.

I don't think flat shoes are frumpy, I live in them!

If you like bootcut jeans but feel they might be upping the frump factor, I would thoroughly recommend Gap curvy jeans. I'm a size 16 and they look absolutely bloody fab, esp the heavier ones in winter they bring out in teh darker denim.

Lots of other mumnetters on an old thread agreed that these seem to be the magic answer to bootcut jeans but a lot more flatering, would def recommend,

if anyone feels they are a bit out of their price range, just wait til they do their 33% off promotion that pops up every now and again.

Ooh, and kelkoo have got teh joules connick sweatshiort in at £34 with free delivey! Jut thought I'd mention tha!

"So to avoid being frumpy I have to throw out perfectly good jeans because they are not fashionable, wear uncomfortable shoes and replace my nice warm fleece with a unspecified, but no doubt expensive and impractical garment.

Sorry I happily embrace Frumpiness, except for hideous polyester Next tops. they should be burnt."

Were we separated at birth StarBallBunny? Like other pears on here I find that skinnies are deeply unflattering on me and rather uncomfortable. I do own a pair but rarely wear them. I would rather look frumpy than a fashion victim.

Gap Curvy jeans are a good fit for us pears, but they are too low rise for me. I am constantly having to hitch them up. I wish they did a higher rise version.