So I've realised that I don't know what "frumpy" looks like...

[Blackden]

and therefore there's a very good chance that I am extremely frumpy.
I read the Boden thread with interest.

Can you please describe frumpy? Does it mean baggy and shapeless clothes? At my age I can't be wearing those 'BodyCon' type dresses (not got the figure for them either )
Or can you link me to some frumpy stuff because I just can't visualise it.

And, what's a 'wrong side of 45' woman to do? How can I avoid looking like mutton but not look frumpy?

I disagree. And I was a big doubter.

By the way. Your posts are patronizing AND breaking the
Mumsnet advertising rules. You need to pay.
And don't treat us like idiots. We aren't "mummies" we are women. With brains.

Great thread Blackden, will be watching with interest as have just looked in the mirror and saw my granny.

Bloody buggeration though, I wish I'd not googled, does my bum look 40 blog now. She is BEAUTIFUL and stylish and slim and everything I'm not really. I've got a sink like that though.

What a shame you only style and advise women who have utilised their uterus.

Funny old business plan, that.

might help - very good fun.

I think much of the supermarket stuff is really frumpy.

thegreylady - why does it have to be an either/or? I enjoy clothes and fashion and do take a pride in my appearance. This is in addition to being a loyal and interested mother, wife, friend and colleague. I don't feel I have to dress badly to prove my credentials - they are entirely compatible, not mutually exclusive. Well groomed and proud!!

Yy Pinot, I don't want to be a frumpy mummy and certainly not a funky mumma, despite having hordes of teenagers littering my house and bleeding me dry.

I don't think it is strictly necessary to get your colours done - it should be pretty clear when you look in the mirror which colours don't suit you/make you washed-out, and which colours make you look good.

And for those of you who are happy to "embrace the frump" - there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! But for me, how I look is a big part of my inner confidence, particularly as I am now in my mid-40s. I'm not ready to become invisible just yet.

I'm sure I don't get it right all the time, though, and my lovely DCs are ready to step in as fashion consultants when I mess up ("mum, what are you wearing?").

Gawd, I hate this 'no bootcut trousers', 'no mum's boots' business. I am a hug fan of both. A good pair of bootcut trews I find way more flattering than any other cut. That with a nice pair of black boots (not wedges but not too spikey) is all good in my book and frankly I think looks like a bit of effort has been made.

As it happens, I would feel very frumpy wearing skinny jeans (especially an 'of the moment' colour pair), a tunic top and a scarf. T'is not me and so I would not go about my business with my usual confidence and surely that's got to be a bit of a factor...?

Based on this thread alone I would appear to be the very definition of frumpy but this is certainly not how I feel or how I believe (hope?!) I come across. I'm not old (30ish), not fat (size 8-10), admittedly I'm not all that fussed about fashion but I do like to look nice (blow dry straightened hair, eyebrows, full make-up, nails done etc etc on more or less daily basis).

Also, after all the 'hoo-ha' on here I got my colours done earlier this year. It was the full whack, style, make-up etc package with colour me beautiful consultant. Now of course I could just have been unlucky, and many have clearly found it invaluable, but I thought it was a total waste of time and money.

I knows what I like and I likes what I know...

Er, that would be huge fan of bootcut trousers and black boots...

I am in the process of trying to sort through a wardrobe full of a) clothes to hide a post pregnancy/between pregnancies so can't be bothered/got to breastfeed in it b) clothes which make me look like an "off-duty" teacher (which I am anyway) but apparently I still embrace the look despite now being a SAHM c) clothes I buy when shopping with my mum that sometimes we both buy the same but she is 65...stylish and good figure but still not my age range....or am I worrying needlessly. I have finally got into skinny jeans despite being 5ft nothing and not skinny so always thought no but gave them a go (funnily enough on my mums advice) and havent looked back although not very comfy to get down and do nappies in!!! Never done the mum boots of which some of you speak and pride myself on good footwear certainly not frumpy there but hey thats easy...my bum nevers looks big in a good shoe! Got into the scarf thing but a bit "over" now do you think? Will watch thread with interest.....Can anyone link me to the Boden one please too?

Also..help buy loads in Next...where shall I go now?

I don't think those mum boots are the worst I've seen. Fitflops are worse and I have a pair! Having said that i do own several pairs of slag shoes; which I hardly wear as I cannot walk in them. eeeeeek I am officially frumpy!

Then again, if you're worrying about whethe you're frumpy, then you're probably not, oar at least there is hope! True frumps are unaware of the fact.

I would argue that skinny jeans are on the way out and that a slight boot cut is chic in a timeless sort of way. Once they're not worn with mom boots, of course!

Like this thread and agree with a lot of what's on here.

Frumpy is cheap 'work-type' clothes - suits from Next etc. Much better to have a few good things (Whistles, LK Bennett, Hobbs etc) that ten cheap things when it comes to smart clothes.

Frumpy is not getting your roots done when they've grown out more than half an inch. Especially when there is grey mixed in. Ditto unplucked eyebrows.

Frumpy is wearing things that are unironed, or faded - black that isn't really black or white that isn't really white any more.

And I hate to say it, but frumpy is looking overweight or showing too much flesh when it's not nice flesh - lumpy, bumpy, baggy, age-mottled. Not meaning everyone has to be a size 8 at all so please don't flame me - I mean looking overweight for your shape is not good. Some women are narrow, some are curvy, but the lumpy, bumpy, lines-of-the-underwear-that's-a-bit-too-small or the spare tyre/love handles over the top of the trousers is frumpy. Baggy bingo wings in a vest top, crinkly cleavage etc not good. Either get rid of it, or wear good underwear and clothes that fit properly.

The whole "but what jeans do I wear if not bootcut" debate misses something, you don't actually need to wear jeans. there is a vast array of non-denim clothing for your bottom half, if jeans that are fashionable don't suit you, wear something else.

I have a friend who's new year resolution a couple of years ago was to not wear any denim for a year. It is actually quite tough if you're a SAHM as jeans of some sort seem part of the 'uniform' (whereas if you work in an office, 5 days a week it's not an option anyway). It was interesting to see how she did it and how much better she looked, I suppose it was more she had to think about what she was wearing/buying more, lots of effort to thinking how she'd wear something before buying it rather than thinking "top to go with jeans". I keep thinking I should do it too, but am not brave enough...

oh, and I think ill fitting underwear looks frumpy - it doesn't matter how cool your top is, if it's over a bra that gives you 4 boobs and a backfat overhang, you're going to look bad. The 4 buttocks look isn't good either.

Too big is as bad as too small when it comes to clothing.

Boot cuts can absolutely look chic but getting them right is much more of a minefield than skinnies. Your skinnies are a bit too short? Well done you, trendy 7/8th. Bootcuts too short? Ankle flappers. Skinnies too long? Well they'll bunch up round your ankles, no harm done. Bootcuts too long? You'll spend the day soaking up puddles before a hole wears in the hem.

Depressed. Have on a dark blue boden linen skirt - quite long with turquoise and blue circles at the hem and a contrast band at the bottom with a turquoise fine wool ruffle cardigan and silvery gold ballerina pumps. The turquoise because it is one of my "colours" from "colour me beautiful" in the early 90s. I felt quite neat and well put together 20 minutes ago

A lot of what is being called frumpy is what I;d just call mumsy. Bootleg jeans,. mum boots, patterned tops - most of the mums at our school live in this stuff and look nice.

My idea of frumpy is much worse than that. It's those cruelly hideous comfortable shoes, thick fabric A line skirts and anoraks. these are so frumpy they make me feel queasy when I see people wear them.

Also those M&S patterned semi-cropped cardis with one or two bright chunky buttons. They manage to disguise any shape any woman has ever had.

nipping upstairs now to get my linen fitted 3/4 lenth summer coat from Per Una