Avidly gazing at spring/summer looks, while Wisely purchasing caghouls......

[notyummy]

Hi all!

Sorry about the rain/hairdo situation Hopefully.

I am eating G and Bs Mint dark choc as I write Verity.

Bloody cold here. And wet.

Yes, that's another thing - is it really feasible to constantly have both parents working crazy hours? DH and I work in same place, so basically same career track but we can't both work 60-70 hours per week, and he loves the job, whereas I feel a bit 'meh' about it, so it's obvious whose career ought to take the back seat. I'm a disgrace to feminism, aren't I?

Thanks looby eczema has cleared up for now, so will get DM ordeal over with and then have a go at working out the trigger. Have already done interview tried to be as neutral as possible, but am sure they will inevitably find something to pick on.

Red I really like that raincoat go for it. They have ash high tops in a few boutiques round here so will check for you tomorrow. Also keep an eye out on Brand Alley, they come up on there a lot.
I am still the "odd one out" as it were but much less insecure about it now. Am actually really happy just bumbling round with DD at the moment, but have only been doing it for two years. Actually I am seriously considering going into teaching when DD is at school, but am worried that it would be hard to find an NQT job in my area (History) as I have heard it's a popular subject.

Amber I don't think it's lack of ambition if you know you can achieve great things as you obviously can. FLE hit the nail on the head really. A lot of my hopes and aspirations for the future now are for DD as much as myself.

Blossoming please buy that cashmere jumper it is exquisite. What is your hair like? I don't get on with keratese either.

Hope Decameron and Fritzi are having good nights out.

amber not a disgrace to feminism at all. Amongst our friends it seems that the only way to have both parents working those kind of hours is to have a nanny and accept that you won't be able to spend much time with your children Monday to Friday although Annie seems to juggle things by working evenings. It sounds to me as if you don't feel that's the right option for you and your family. As for whether you or DH's career should take a back seat that's for you to decide but it doesn't sound as if he'd want to be a house husband! How's your DD doing? My little one has a cold and is teething so woke me up at 2am and 5am.

red- you are right and he is too, although it tends to annoy me when he says things like this (only something that comes up occasionally). He does come from the rather unusual perspective of having an exceedingly ambitious, energetic mother who has achieved v well career wise. I won't be mean and mention all the negative things about her/ their family here, which he is fully aware of and hates. He does know that our family set up is completely different and never makes a comparison- it's only that I am aware of it and understand why he feels like this.
If he was working 40 hours a week and could switch off at weekends/ in the evening and help with the DC, etc. I could definitely see myself managing to do more career wise. However, it is also true that I feel lack lustre re my career and have done for 3 years or so. I think it ties in with the third child, the lack of any flexibility with childcare and, perhaps most of all, a v unfortunate thing that happened to me in early pg with DC (involving a bastard employer).
Sorry if this all sounds a bit cryptic but don't want to complain re family or detail bad experience here! :)

karbea- so sorry to hear re your IVF.

Also meant to say to karbea and breton please make time for yourselves both situations sound emotionally very tough.

Gosh,busy on here this evening.

Really fascinated by all the career talk. I would describe myself as hugely ambitious, but in a completely non-traditional way. When I choose what I want to do I am focused and single minded and very little gets in the way of me doing it, but mostly my ambitions are totally counter to the norm (I have no desire, for instance, to be hugely wealthy, or to do any job that I don't absolutely love). And like others, my ambitions are now very tied up in giving my children the best possible lifestyle to grow into great people. Luckily DH is a good match for my ambitions

Oh, amber- personally, I don't think both partners working 80 hr weeks or whatever is feasible.
I think the ideal situation is perhaps to have both parents working maybe 30 hrs a week and fully sharing childcare/ housework. It seems v balanced to me. However, it isn't going to happen for most people.
Surely you could be involved in retail again but in a different capacity. You aren't a disgrace to feminism, by the way. You are being honest which is good!

That would be very lovely of you Suburban; thank you. I'm insecure about being insecure, so I think my multi-layered neuroses are here for a while. There is always work for good NQTs, you know. Might be worth asking around at local schools for their situation nearer the time. Or just look at the TES website to get a gauge of the kinds of jobs that are coming up.

Ooh massive x-post there. All very interesting and can see that the situation isn't particularly black and white Looby. Hope you're not feeling too lacklustre though.

My Mum, who has bemoaned me not being in employment since DS was born, did a complete u-turn today when she thought of her precious granddaughter being looked after by someone else and offered to pay me not to do the tutoring. I laughed so hard.

Oh I still have so many insecurities, it's just that little one I don't mind about anymore :)
DD starts preschool in September so I think I will try and do some work experience/shadowing then and take it from there.

Yes Amber my DP puts in massive hours too. So me working wouldn't be comfortable for any of us.

Hello love the new thread title. Hve been in Switzerland for two days working and dining out, no time to shop which is just as well given the exxchange rate. Staggering. Came through T5 Heathrow this eve the queue for immigration for non eu was absolutely disgraceful. I don't blame the staff they just need more of them!

Anyway travel wardrobe included me&em dress, still love it and now have in grey as well as navy. Also got a white cowl neck top which is similar style (flattering and gives busy great shape!) but very thin material. Still, with a neutral slightly padded bra a keeper.

Must catch up properly. One thing I loved in my meetings in Switz was that almost all of them gave you a chocolate with your tea/coffee. I embraced this local custom with gusto. Oink.

kareba I am indeed blondish with warm tones. Give the scarf a whirl and fle you are so right I love the tassels!!! kareba I am sorry to hear about your struggles with IVF.

looby I totally agree with red. I think it's very very hard for both individuals in a partnership to pursue high powered careers. I do know a couple who do but then they only really see their kids on the week end. Not for me. So you are doing what is right for your family. Tell your DH to either scale back his work or support you!!!!

bretton be kind to yourself. You are dealing with a lot at the moment and getting in exhausted at 11pm does not sound like a good idea to me.

suburban love your blog. You are very photogenic/ gorgeous. Good luck with the DM.

Emo- I was in Switzerland twice last year and literally had my breath taken away by some of the prices. Makes Australia seems not too bad. In fact DH said he was glad he had been to Switzerland first so he could feel that Oz was comparatively not so bad. Favourite Swiss price shocker from visit last August= 5 cartons of juice bought for children from kiosk in a park. £25.

My hair is quite normal. Not coloured, not grey. Washed and straightened every day. Used to get on well with kerastase but now remember it was the green bottle.
Agree with the others, take care breton.
Sorry to hear that kareba.
Love Swiss chocolates emo!
Okay, will buy it, as you insist suburban!!

oh yes definitely buy the top bloss, have a similar one from Joseph that I wear all the time with jeans.

Just one point on the career thing, I definitely agree that it is totally not feasible to have both parents working crazy hours but on the flip side I also thought that I could never do my job when I had a child - too much stress, too many long hours etc and when I first went back after maternity leave I took a different type of role that I hated. Now I'm back doing a similar job to before but on 4 days a week, not doing the long hours regularly either (apart from yesterday) and loving it and I know I am doing a good job too (and most importantly still being a good mum) I was lucky that my managers were willing to take a chance though but you do sometimes never know what you can achieve.

kareba so sorry about your IVF, best of luck for the future.

Morning. Enjoyed reading the career / children discussion during the night. This thread is so different from elsewhere on mumsnet where people's diverse choices can get vigorously condemned; like you bloss I don't really venture off here! Agree that it is not anti feminist to look after your children - I certainly count myself as a feminist and see my role in our family as absolutely equal and valuable to DH's and I know he agrees. Felt angered by that tv historian's viewpoint (think her name is Lucy Worsley) that she had been educated beyond child-bearing! I love hearing about all the different careers and experiences of all of you and feel quite in awe of all the talent and skill. Also very nosy about what some of you do: marsha your work always really intrigues me and would love to know more one day!

Hoping it doesn't rain as much today. I actually don't own anything waterproof except an umbrella; generally I just don't go out if it pours! Presumably this won't always be possible as the DC get older!

Bicester tomorrow. Would really like an hindmarch make up bag and a great pair of shoes.

A question: going to a wedding in June and planning to wear last year's pink lace whistles dress (short, fitted, cap sleeves) again. Last year wire it with nude heels, thin black belt with gold clasp, gold chandelier earrings and my Chanel 2.55. Any ideas for something bit different? Really gone off nude courts now.

Wondering about this skirt of Wendy's here. She clearly shortens skirts and trousers and think I need to do the same. But how to find a good tailor?

Hope everyone has a good day.

Sympathy to kareba - a dear friend of mine is in your position right now and I can see how hard it is. Also breton you are coping brilliantly but don't expect too much of yourself in such a difficult situation.

annie you are such a devoted mother. Try not to dread going away too much if it can't be avoided. We are having a child free night away at the end of June (for the wedding) when DD will only be 4 months but I am looking forward to it although I will of course miss them.
Sorry for typos above.

APRIL50 for £50 off £200 spend at my-wardrobe.

I've worn my sweeps to death and yes Red - 3 assistants in HN thought they were pistols.

I actually ordered both pairs at the same time and did a side by side comparison [anal] [too much time on her hands] and there really was very little difference.

However next AW I will get the pistols as I do like to have the 'proper/original' item rather than an homage really.

Its not raining - thank the lord!

I've been a SAHM for 8 years now but will look to do something next year when youngest starts school but may well be voluntary rather than paid.

Morning all. Another overcast day with rain threatening any moment. Wearing new Chintzi and Parker dress wich feels lovely on but does crease easily which I am slightly less happy about.

Karbea - Sorry to hear to hear about your IVF. So hard. I wish you all the luck in the world with whatever you decided next.

Annie - I know it is a very personal thing about going away overnight, but you shouldn't feel bad because DH is cross, surely? He goes away with his work and this is something you need to do. There are very few jobs at your level you can do without at least occasional overnight travel. I think I am lucky in how family friendly my workplace is usually, but above a certain grade occasional overnight travel is expected (albeit usually with plenty of notice.) I always feel happier knowing that DD is/was as happy to be home with DH as she was with me, and that contributed to how I felt about going away. Does that work for you/DH? Tricky, I know.

Blue - we must try and arrange another Nottingham MU - with Zembo and Icey? Perhaps with gorgeous babies this time....

Re the both people working thing. It is difficult for both people to have 'careers' rather than one having a career and one having a job. Whilst I am doing OK, I am conscious that I earn far less than I was doing before I had DD (I still earn what most people would see as a very good salary, it is just not what I was making in management consultancy....but I get more stability and better terms and condition.) DH and I both have 'careers' but it involves juggling constantly and generally working every evening to allow me to be there to pick DD up by 5 30 latest and spend some time with her. I don't see her at all at least 3 mornings at week, but I am happy with our childcare in the mornings, and I see her every evening (and if I can't, the majority of the time DH can.)

Running in to ask a really ditzy question which I really should know the answer too but I dont.
Want to start using my new Cos handbag (i keep removing it from its bag just to look at it) but because its such a pale colour, I will need to protect it first. Do i used the spray-on stuff I use on shoes or is there special stuff for handbags I need to look for? (I did warn it was a ditzy question)
Have visions of making a tit of myself in Dutch the shoemenders so.....

Ants I love that scarf for you - the 'Does my bum look 40' blog lady has posted a pic of her wearing hers is week and she loves it too.
Kew159 has 25% off everything today - you linked to a nice scarf a while ago in a similar shade I think? The grey linen one Bloss and I have will also be reduced.