Crepey Corner

[DukesOfTripHazard]

Where the cool and the discerning hang out. New one.

Chat now, innit.

It's yoda something here. Dp and I have just had words about ds. Told Dp I'd rather not be on holiday with either of them right now QL good news re medicine.

DD back from sleepover looking as white as a sheet, but saying she slept for 8 hours

BD sounds like one of our holidays

QL, Asda does teen pads (and tampons, but DD won't touch them yet!) so I expect there's something similar en France.

Sadly not, BTM. The best I could do was some without wings. I don't think Parisian women have periods, as it's very difficult to get tampons in sizes larger than "normal." And there only seems to be two brands of sanitary towel - Always and Nana, and very few in "oh my god I'm flooding" size. In contrast, the display in Monoprix of Tena Lady (that always makes me think of that David Soul song, Silver Lady, except the words would be something like "Tired of pissing, leaking, dripping whenever I sneeze. A bit of wee shoots out of me, trickles down to my knees") is VAST - different sizes, pants, pads, different brands. So this leads me to the conclusion that very thin Parisian women do not bleed but they piss themselves on a regular basis.

The Tena Lady song (with apologies to David Soul):

Tired of pissing, leaking, dripping, whenever I sneeze.
A bit of wee shoots out of me, trickles to my knees.
The Kegel exercises never really worked.
I can't blame you if you find me a bit slack.
Tena Lady was my last hope
But I'm still whiffy around my crack.

Come on Tena Lady, stop the drips
I need you to work, believe me.
I squeeze with all my might
But my fanjo's really not that tight
I need Tena Lady
I piss myself at work and home
They're talking 'bout me at the teapoint
I've no friends, I'm alone, should I try a cone?
Or Tena Lady?

An interesting analysis on French women QL. Do they somehow deny periods by force of will? More seriously do you want a parcel sent out ?
In japan the thing that amazed me was (considering anything else came in at least 100 different options) the lack of choice of toothpaste..... Actually I find these cultural differences really interesting.
I have developed a hacking cough and supping Ginger, lemon, honey tea like it is going out of fashion....,

I got to the point yesterday of swearing (to myself and in various texts) that next year I am going away for Christmas ALONE.

Today I am taking the Inferiorettes for haircuts. And me, as I am currently sporting a Hair Do, as specialised in by middle-aged frumps. DD1 swears she DOESN'T WANT ANY OF IT CUT AT ALL.

I believe Orangina is in forrin parts too

Snort at Tena Lady song! And the idea that chic Parisien women may, in fact, smell of wee. I will nevere look at Christine Lagarde in the same way again. Re tampons and catholic countries - when a friend of mine taught for a year in Italy (20 years ago so hopefully things have changed) many of the young women there had a device to speed up the flow, or sort of suction/syringe thing that they used to get round the no-tampons-, please,-we're-Catholic thing and shorten the length of their periods.

Oh, and I have woken up with conjuntivitis this morning. So I have one festive red eye with which to terrify the children.

wilbur re the Italian periods method. I will quiz my French friend when we go over in Feb re the pads/tampons!

DH is currently having a ding dong with DD. Oh Christmas joy

Interesting theory, QL, and luvverly song. I wondered what the smell was on the Metro..
Dd's periods have just regularised and are now beautifully in sync with mine, which are still regular as clockwork, although getting lighter and lighter. Dd's are hideously heavy and she says tampons are foul, unnatural and completely unacceptable. I showed her my mooncup and she nearly fainted.

Re: haircuts - I have a frumptastic "do", as some of the frazzle was cut off the top layer and this means that the shorter layer is now growing upwards and outwards. Hairdresser refused to give me a radical short haircut, as he said unless I was prepared to learn to straighten it, I would look hideous and would "slag him off all round town". Hmm. I am snarfing hair vitamin pills, praying for it to grow more quickly and wearing a hat more frequently.

BD, congrats on the purchase of House C - and hope your holiday in Goa will also have some relaxing, germ-free days. :)

Great Tena Lady song Mrs S. Charmed by the inclusion of the word/s 'Teapoint' .

There is wet washing everywhere, mostly things I really need to pack. Girls at playscheme, I'm meant to be wrapping and packing. Off to inlaws for 3 nights, then BILS for 1. Potential for disharmony increased by the fact FIL has a broken leg and can't weight bear. They are usually very nice and easy to stay with, and the girls love going there because there is (are?) a myriad of swirly textiles and a reassuring routine to things.

Girls are fractious as all get out and only talking in sarcastic voices and celebrating the minor disasters of the other very vocally. It is Trying. I have mean well pre-menstrual and yesterday used the opportunity of driving solo over a long speed hump ridden road, to scream. Really scream at the top of my mad voice, at length and repeatedly as though being murdered. It was fantastic. I have been much calmer since and so husky I was offered a locket by dd1's guitar teacher.

Good luck everyone attempting a haircut at this difficult time

I have realised I am fat and frumpy and am off to drown myself in the Indian ocean.... Brought on by a day on the beach surround by bright young SLIM things
Sending positive vibes to everyone....

BD - the cure is to remove glasses or contacts so you can't see said bright young slim things. Or put on someone else's glasses to similar effect.

I have a minor question compared to moving houses, early onset periods and onion dishes. It seems to be the done thing to give a present to the nursery staff. By now, however, they must be heartily sick of the customary biscuits and chocolates. And to add to the complication, DS's key worker is a jehova's witness (I only know this as she knocked on our one one Saturday morning) so doesn't celebrate Christmas. But only I know this, not everyone else. Gah!

Spread the word Herbs

Have now recovered from work Christmas do on Tues, night out with friends last night and a duty trip to the Pecknaaam Argos to return DH's birthday prezzie toasted sandwich maker which I sweated blood getting from the Catford Argos and a plastic bit has now broken of of......... And after a dose of Nigella's Christmas and Kirsties Homemade Christmas, am now making butternut squash and chestnut soup, rocky road and Dan Leppard's sweet potato chocolate brownies. And pizza for the DC and their mates

Tillymint - respect for managing Argos only days before Christmas... I have just realised dh is very light on stocking fillers so I ran out to get him some daim bars (yum) and a lottery scratch card. Classy.

I am finishing up at work and about to head to the work Christmas meal at a v nice restaurant. Lovely . Although dh just texted saying his glands are up, so no doubt he will have manflu by tomorrow, just as we are supposed to be packing for his parents' house.

wilbur, you do a stocking for your DH Better put some packs of tissues and Beechams Powders in it then

Granny Doom has arrived. [there is no smiley that works for this]

DDs are hiding in DD2's room "doing homework". DH is locked in with his computer. I have heard all about the Asda bus and who has died recently and Eileen's spare knickers that she always carries since she wet herself at the checkout (but they gave her her shopping free - I expect they couldn't wait to get rid of her ). Now from this, you would think that Granny Doom didn't get out much, wouldn't you? Wrong. She has recently returned from a 3 week cruise of the Caribbean, of which we have heard nothing, nada, rien, gar nichts. I fear probing will lead to descriptions similar to that of her trip to Egypt - Cairo, to see the Pyramids, a cruise down the Nile and a week in Sharm - "all beige". The Nile? "It's a big river." "You know. Like the Thames."

MI - any room for a passenger next year? Can we go somewhere that is not beige? Will we need Tena Lady?

Cats have pulled all the tinsel off the tree and Large Maine Coon has dribbled (but not in Eileen stylee, fortunately) all over the sofa.

I am hitting the Christmas Pudding vodka and the de Klok advocaat tomorrow.

Oh and I made 50 mince pies yesterday. There are five left...

QL your stories of your mum do make but I guess the reality is a tad more challenging. I am in awe at all your Christmas preparations. I ran away leaving my brothers to finish the family shopping. Dp and I don't buy each other anything (and dp isn't even getting a stocking this year). Ds's all done and waiting back home.
Herbs, glasses idea is fine, but it's when you try to get into a pair of shorts you packed and realise they won't do up that's a problem. I think a diet is in order......

Hello all, I was up early to bag loads of tat which will probably go straight back bargains in the Next Online sale (I get a VIP early slot, being a saddo with no taste in clothes).

Must just take DH his tea, or there will be complaints from upstairs (he doesn't quite bang a walking stick on the floor, but not far off).

I am going to take squabbling children to the park and later on sing carols here.

DP has cheerfully informed me it will be Eileening it down by the time we're singing

BD, that's the downside of winter hols - when you have been eating comfort food for a few months!

DS is sitting sewing - his teacher has obviously inspired him (they made Christmas stockings) and he is now making a penguin puppet, though it may be abandoned before it is finished! DD is ploughing very slowly(due to you-tube and texting) through homework

We are off to meet friends at the Christmas market at the Southbank this afternoon - I'm hoping it will make me feel more Christmassy.