do oyu wear the mum uniform?

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I find this sexist, frankly. Bit redolent of 1950s advice to housewives to put a ribbon in their hair before hubby comes home and always let him do whatever he wants in bed in order to 'keep your man'.

It's this bit that winds me up: 'What is it that turns you into bland, background beings who have forgotten the sexy women their husbands once found so attractive? Where is the make-up you used to apply so proudly? What has happened to the legs and cleavage he couldn?t wait to get his hands on?'

I bet most dads don't look like Hollywood romantic leads either...

I know and I agree, but I do wish I was more like the woman he met sometimes...(ie not so fat). dh wouldn't dream of saying a word and never has, and tells me he loves me and that I'm beautiful all the time, but I know he'd prefer it too.

Dh told me his mother used to change her blouse, comb her hair, put on her pearls and apply lipstick before his father came home. The children would have been fed and bathed and in the nursery. If that isn't yucky sexist 50s twaddle, I don't know what is! When dh gets home, I'm usually in a complete frazzle & he just roles his sleeves up & pitches in. How times have changed!

Aloha, I think you must be one of those people who looks in a mirror and sees something different to what everyone else sees. You are NOT fat. Do you think working with the fashion industry for so long has perhaps changed your perspective - ie for me, size 14 is an achievement, for fashionistas it would be a disaster!

I've completely lost my way with clothes

I wear a cargo type trouser (stone & khaki) with brown flat shoes, a polo neck (either M&S or Gap) & gilet (navy, beige or red)

For work I have 3 pairs of trousers ( but tend to only wear 2) white blouse & wrap cardie with one pair, long sleeve top & either pink (M&S) or brown (Next) cardigans. Also wear with black or brown boots.

And +/- pashimina in 2 colours

When it gets really cold I wear the above with a black long puffa coat from Landsend.

At home I wear velour tracksuit bottoms + slippers....glamour ? oh, that's when I wear my contact lenses...

Sounds like a good start to me, moj.

I love, love, love fleeces, but can find very few non middle aged or non mumsy ones. Jigsaw used to do some beatiful fleeces in unusual colours, but seemed to have stopped doing them. Very sad.

Please show me a picture of a "fleece". I'm thinking sheepskin? Or polartec?

like this

I do feel better (says woman who went shoppping today, spent lots of money, boy do I feel a shallow victim of consumer culture - and very lovely it is too) for climbing out (a bit) from the frumpiness of new motherhood. (I work from home too so frankly could sit around in tracky bottoms for the rest of my life.) It genuinely isn't for my partner, who has continued to fancy me (deluded man) throughout. I just feel a bit more me. Or even the woman I'd like to be, IYKWIM.

Oooh, MI, you are brave if you did your clothes shopping on a Saturday! I dislike shopping for myself intensely, and there's absolutely no way I'd add weekend crowds into the mix.

What did you get?

I am probably going to get jumped on, but I do think it is nice to brush your hair etc. and be looking decent when your partner comes in. It works both ways, I prefer it if he then goes and changes into some clothes that are not old, baggy and stained.

I know some days it is the last thing on your mind and often not possible. But in an ideal world, what is wrong with wanting to look good for your partner when they walk in at the end of the day?

Should I buy my 50s pinny now before they confiscate my feminist badge?

frannyf..have no problem whatsoever with what you say.
Very true.
'tracky bottoms' Lol MI.
Hard to think of a less seductive phrase eh?

reading this by T and S, I was thinking that's me exactly.

but how do you start spending money on clothes when you've got hardly any and you don't know where to start? T and S will spend our combined weekly income on their accessories, mever mimd their clothes.

made me laugh though!

You are lovely Edam, but really, am thinking that when I stop breastfeeding I might even try that Lighter Life horror that I read about on MN.
I love, love, love clothes, but not on me anymore.

agree ssd. I may even have the basics already in my wardrobe but can't work out how to remix them and can't/won't do tweed ! The other day I realised I'd committed a classic T and S faux pas, mixing colour (duck egg blue) with black but then thought stuff them, it looked fine !

The shops are no help either - I walk in and don't know where to start. Hate the M and s campaign - I just don't aspire to any of their models and in fact the header photos of Twiggy and older one put me right off anything they are associated with.

MI, how are you? Think I heard you had flu?

Am better, many thanks, Edam. Earlybird, I bought quite a lot of money's worth of V-neck tops - fine merino ones from the Gap (doing fabby knitwear atm, see yesterday's Guardian) and even fabbier silk ones from Jigsaw. All to wear with, yes, jeans

I wear clothes for me.Always have and always will.If my dh says he doesnt like it, tough.Yes I am heavier after having kids but I dont think looking good has anything to do with size or money.

Thankgod for Primark.I can look good and not blow a fortune.And I always accessorise.Gives you that trendy edge.

I said that I would not let myself go after having children and to be honest its not that much of a battle.Dont ever want to be part of the fleece brigade and as the older mother of a baby girl I would hate to show her up when shes 15 so need to keep my hand in, if you know what I mean!!

I tend to look not good early in the morning. After I've dropped dd off, I often go home, take a leisurely bath and get myself together (wash hair, apply some makeup, nicer clothes) without being rushed. So, I tend to look/dress differently depending on the time of day.

frannyf - my DH (who is a SAHD) always but always changes into a fresh shirt and trousers after the kids have gone to bed so that he looks nice even if we're just staying in and not having visitors (which is most of the time!). So it can hardly be anti-feminist for you to do similar, can it?

mummypumpkin - 3 kids, looks perfect every day - ahhh, you must be talking about me!

No no no, she must mean me!

BASKETCASE - Did you go shopping?