Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us?

[SadSam]

Howdy!!!! Squirrel 3 and I have decided that as we are a bit nutty, we'd like to set up the Nutty Stepmum's Club or NSC. If anyone would like to join us, please add to this post and prove that we are not the only nutters out there!

We would like to add a little bit more nuttyness to our already insane lives!!!!

I wouldn't worry about a little argument (that's if it was only a little one?)

That's a shame about Christmas, I've read about this before on one of your threads - if I remember right it's not an option for your family to come to you or for you to take the skids to them either is it? We'll get some time on our own 28th - 30th which I know I should be grateful for but I can't help thinking that Christmas has gone by then!

I'd dearly love to go away too but there's no way DP would agree to it even if we could afford it (which we can't!)

It was the usual "not so little" argument about the usual stuff, when all my usual gripes come out! Not making wills, when are we getting married, provision for the kids if anything was to happen to him so that I dont get dragged to court by BM, not feeling appreciated, doing everything and getting nothing in return, etc etc etc ............ need I go on?

Then I just end up feeling even more bitter about Christmas, not having a holiday this year (or probably any year now as we have to have the stepkids for 2 weeks in the summer and that with the 2 weeks at Christmas is all our holidays gone, not having any money for things that I would like etc. etc.

God just read my posts and realised what a whingeing miserable stepmum I sound! lol

You have every right tho FANC

Does your DP actually listen to you when you have these "discussions"? Probably a daft question as he's a man LOL! Seriously, you have given up a heck of a lot for him, does he acknowledge and appreciate this? Can't understand what's stopping him from making a will - this really is a must in your situation (says me who hasn't made one either!!)

One last question - and forgive me if this sounds harsh - do you really want to marry him? I only ask because quite regularly you sound very down about your life in general

{{{ hugs to you }}}

Thanks NAAM. I do desperately want to marry him, I love him like Ive never loved anyone before. I know how it sounds, and yeah sometimes I am a bit unhappy, but only with his situation not totally him personally. He doesn't understand totally or 100% appreciate what I have given up, but reading other posts on here, it is obviously a man thing! Lol - He says he will get round to doing things (like the wills) but never does, also a man thing! I am going to get mine done as at the moment everything will be left to my ex so I am also guilty, but he doesnt seem to care about that!

I really think this is a man thing! My DP doesn't fully appreciate what I did for him either, despite the fact that I've spent over £10k on the house and I gave him £40k towards his divorce settlement! Without that, he'd have lost the house and had about £8k (if that) for a deposit for another

And without meaning to be sexist (yeah right!) I really don't think that men think like we do - we're far more practically minded and things get to us more than they get to men, they seem to have a "don't worry it'll be fine" attitude to most things!

Try to keep smiling chuck

I cant believe how much you lent DP NAAM, makes mine sound like pennies. I think your right though, men definately think differently. My DP is ex military and was in the first Gulf war, he says lifes too short to worry about petty things. If we have an argument, he wont get angry or get upset. He shows no emotion, and when I get uptight and say why doesnt he worry about certain things, he says because no-one is going to die! Grrrrrr

Hello all

Getting worried about Squirrel now, it's not like her to keep off here for this long

Hope she's OK

Hello everyone. Just popped in while Ive got 5 mins. Hope Squirrel is ok she hasnt posted since Friday on any threads. Maybe we should send out thought waves to her to tell her to log on.

you are all so right about men not getting organised and doing stuff. I have to sort out any paperwork we have.

Am frantically sortign out a passport for dd atm as didnt realise she needed one. we are only going to Ireland FFS but she needs photo id to get on the plane. Photo id for a 22 mtnh old I ask ya Bloody BMI!!! Aer Lingus dont bother with infants and will accept a bus pass as photo id from an adult. Knew I should have book AL Twas only £5 more. Sorry Rant over now

Oh Tarantula - I agree. Have you read about the sagas some people have had getting kids passports. One woman paid for the express checked service at the Post Office, only to have the passport rejected as her baby was too shiny! Someone else had theirs rejected as the baby's mouth wasn't in the right shape. LOL!

FANC - I've just been reading back in this thread and had a real feeling of deja vu. I had some major frustrations at getting my DH to sort out a will before we got married. He's normally really sensitive yet he had a massive block about this although we had agreed without any prob the content. After 10 months of prevarication, the truth came out. One - he was superstitious about making a will...... Men hey. And two - he wanted to protect the kids against BM blowing their inheritance and couldn't work about how best to do it. Good luck - it is important for all of you. xxx

I think it's absolutely crazy that children so young need a passport in the first place - when my brother got one for his (then) 6 month old the picture could have been of any baby!

DP and I really must get our wills done, we keep putting it off cos DP doesn't like talking about things like that! Men!! Who does like talking about it - it's got to be done. Must bring the subject up again....trouble is if we do it and then decide to get married it'll be void so we'll have to do it again so do we get it done now or do we wait??!! AAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!

Hello

DP keeps on telling me that we will see a solicitor to sort out our wills when I let him change the mortgage into a joint one. I am kicking my heels about it because its my home, its been mine for 12 years, its the only bit of security that I can say is truly mine.

If things go wrong I will always have my home, I fear that I could be made homeless if dp and I were to split up . . . or as FANC fears, that if anything were to happen to dp, the kids BM would charge in and demand that I sell so that the step-kids can have their half, when I have paid my mortgage for 12 years on my own so realistically they shouldn't be entitled to half.

DP has told me that if we put the house in joint names he will put in writing via the solicitor that if we split up he cannot force me to sell and the house can only be sold if we both agree or we both die, in which case the profit of the sale, half will go to his kids (he has four, so they will get an 8th each) and half will go to mine (I have two, so they will get 1/4 each) so that it is fair. Also he wants to put some money into the house (from the sale of his previous house) but is is no-where near the amount I have already paid, hence the way we have decided to split the house amongst the kids in the event of our deaths. It does sound fair but I am still scared stiff of biting the bullet and doing it!

It just doesn't bear thinking about, but FANC is right, these things need to be sorted asap so that everyone knows where they stand.

Hello Squirrel we were getting worried about you, glad you're back

Your situation about a will is rather tricky isn't it? I don't blame you for being cautious - I would be too in your situation. When I moved in with my DP I have to say I didn't really think about what I was doing - we have a £70k mortgage, I gave him £40k towards his divorce settlement, I've spent over £10k on the house (so far, still counting) and the house is only worth £120k so as things stand, although the house is jointly owned, DP hasn't actually put anything into it whereas I've put £50k+ in so it sometimes worries me a bit that I'd be seriously out of pocket if anything went wrong! But I try not to worry too much cos I'm sure it won't, we're very happy - as you know

So how are things with you? How have you coped without MN for a week

Blimey! Has it been a week?

I have been looking in but I haven't had time to post.

I've been revising for my last, final and hardest exam. Also been doing battle with our local Council on behalf of dd, landed up recording telephone calls containing loads of lies and un-professional behaviour from the allocations officer dealing with her case and I have made a formal complaint against her!!!

I'm sure you'll be fine in your exam - you did very, very well in the last one, when is it?

So your dd still hasn't got a house I assume? Must be awful for her - but at last she has you to fight her corner for her

The exam is in a few weeks, I can take it when I feel that I have done enough revision.

OMG, I don't know how anybody is going to get to my front door now, the workmen have dug up the pavement all of the way along the front of my house and put up barriers to stop any 'pedestrians' from walking past my house!!!! There is muddy water all over DS's car because it is spurting out of the huge hole that they have dug, they have put a pipe attached to a pump to try to pump the water away into the drain but its still 'spewing'.

I now have a water feature outside my home! Do you think it will increase the value?

LOL, hope the workmen don't finish at 4

That's good that you can take your exam pretty much when you like

How's your driving going? Do you feel any better about it?

Don't talk to me about driving!!!!

No not really actually it is a little bit better, I have noticed that the last few lessons the driving instructor has started to teach me how to pass my test rather than teaching me how to drive 'cos he says "I know how to drive now, its just building my confidence about it", and making sure that on my test I almost 'exaggerate' my observations so that the examineer knows that I am doing it. Supose I'd better learn my theory and do the test, but I've been doing other exams and I want to get them done and dusted first, don't stop the driving instuctor from nagging me about it though!

That's it I have officially stopped revising for today, decided that I'll listen to some Norah Jones and chat on MN for a while!

I don't blame you for wanting to get your other exams out of the way first - good idea. When I learnt, my instructor and I did the "exaggerating" thing too and it worked for me - hope it does for you too

Don't know if you've ever seen this before

YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!!

My first link and it worked!!!!!

I'm really easily pleased aren't I???

Thanks NAAM, I've got the driving test success cd-roms which covers the theory, the hazard perception test and the practical tests, I do try to look at it occasionally and do some mock exams but with work, college, exams at college, dd (and all of her current problems), grandkids, step-kids, the biggest kid of all DP, and of course MN, I don't have a lot of free time. I will do it, but probably after my last exam.

You did it!!!! Yep, it worked!!!!

NAAM, you had to mention the workmen going home at 4pm didn't you! They have gone and left a blooming great hole outside my house, I supose the bit of wood they have left across the entrance to my home (over the hole) helps, at least people won't fall down the hole getting to my front door (at least I hope that they dont)!!

At least the flow of water seems to have stopped!

DS is going to be when he gets home from work and sees the state of his car!