Nutty Stepmum's Club (NSC) - Who Wants To Join Us?

[SadSam]

Howdy!!!! Squirrel 3 and I have decided that as we are a bit nutty, we'd like to set up the Nutty Stepmum's Club or NSC. If anyone would like to join us, please add to this post and prove that we are not the only nutters out there!

We would like to add a little bit more nuttyness to our already insane lives!!!!

Okay

DH might be offered a job 130 miles away from here, giving us the chance to relocate (nearer my mum).

Anyway, his dd is now 17, so I don't envisage that as a prob. She's old enough to get on a train and come to see us now and again. But his ds (now 22) is autistic, lives in a young adults welfare centre, and at present we see him when he visits home for a weekend (only 6 or 8 times a year)

A) how do we tell them (if it comes to pass)
b) how do we manage christmas?

Just wondering if any step-parents have had this experience.

Holidays!!!!! Oh you lucky thing. Wish I was Where are you off to?

Easy, be honest and straight with your dsd, I'm sorry I don't know enough about autism (sp?) but I guess you will just have to explain it as best you can to dss, in a way that he will understand.

About Christmas, how about you talk with dsd and ask her if she would want to spend Christmas or New Year with you. Then at least you see her over part of the season or have two Christmasses.
We did this a couple of years ago when our step children were going to Australia for 6 weeks with their Mum (Christmas was in the middle of it) we had Christmas dinner, pressies, Christmas decorations, an early Panto, everything (infact the kids said it really felt like Christmas to them, more than their actual Christmas with Mum).

Your dsd is much older than my step children though but its an idea. Maybe your dss can come and stay too (or would that be to difficult?).

Sorry this probably isn't much help but maybe someone else has got experience and a better suggestion.

Tarantula, we were going to the New Forest but with Grandad being so ill (and the New Forest holding so many memories of Nan and Grandad) I didn't know if it would be a good idea or not I don't want to spoil the holiday for the Step children by being all....You know...., so we decided that we would go to Devon, I hope the weather improves!!!

Cheers squirrel.

It'smore likely to be their mother who kicks up a fuss to be honest (any excuse, and old habits die hard).

Don't get us all going on the subject of BM's going off on one! We will be here all year and I've got to pack for my holiday!!!

Hope it all goes well, if he gets the job I hope its loads more money for you all and it will be good to be near your Mum.

thats great Easy about the job figures crossed taht he gets it.

Ill keep my figures crossed about the weather Squirrel even tho Im dead jealous of you.

My dss is 13 Easy and last year and this year we went/are going home to Ireland for Christmas and he is staying here with his mum. What we did was to celebrate Yule with him the weekend before we went with the full works (including making stockings for Santy etc. etc. He wanted to come with us actually as he loves going over but there was no way that he could leave his mum for two weeks at Christmas. I also made sure we brought him back a nice present.
Not sure what you can do about dss but might be a good idea to sort out some way of dh visiting him possibly? Think youll just have to ignore BM and tell her to go get a life if she starts lol maybe Ill be on here saying the same thing in a few years if I ever decide to go home.

Been lovely to talk to you, but I really must go, I'm in the middle doing the ironing, Ive got to pack and then I'm going to see Grandad before I go.

Talk to you in two weeks couldn't go with out doing this link

Byeeeeee, speak to you sooooooon!!

Hi all, I'm a stepmum - dd 11m, dsd 14yrs. We have dsd on weekends. Very lucky with dsd however BM and MIL very close and similar pov. Luckily MIL doesn't live locally so only have problems when BM invites in-laws to stay at hers...and expects us to take them off her hands all day. Dp and me v. selfish people don't you know

I hope Squirrel is having a great time. Take care everyone xxx

Hi GirlySquare, welcome to our club! It is quiet at the mo as Squirrel and im sure others are on holiday, but please look in regularly and we love chatting to other Stepmums! Sam

Hi, not posted before. Im a stepmum to two dss 15, sd 13, the dss lives with us full time. DP and I have a dd 18mths, going on holiday with them soon which i am looking forward to and dreading at the same time! sd is very good at stroping! (takes after BM!)

Hi Pookstermum, welcome to our site! Please keep on looking in, you will find the people on here kind, caring and helpful! Sam

OOooops! just seen this...

Welcome Pookstermum, Well, Girlysquare thank you for hopeing that I was having a good holiday, I guess you have gathered that it was a washout!

Never mind there is always next year....

I might have even dumped dp and become a stepmother again.

Hope you ladies don't mind me posting on here.

I just wanted to say that although I've only recently joined Mumsnet, I've been reading the threads since becoming a stepmum last year and you've all been a massive help to me - I thought I was some sort of horrible wicked-stepmother type monster until I found this site

Reading about some of your situations has also made me realise that my situation could be a lot worse!

A very very big thank you to you all

Welcome to our nutty club Notactuallyamum,

Yes! some new blood!! I hope you are very nutty, (Sadsam and I are having a rough tme of it ATM, so we could do with someone to lighten the mood)

This thread is mean't to be a cheery thread, as Reflection said "madness is very theraputic".

I'm glad you are finding the site helpful, keep posting we are a friendly bunch, some of us even have really good advice to give.

The more nutty stepmums that join the better, we all need a little light relief cos being a stepmumcan be so hard sometimes.

Hello squirrel - thank you for your welcome.

Yes I've been reading about you and SadSam - so sorry about your grandad and your little granddaughter. I do think you'll find, like you suggested, that medical advances over the years will make things easier for you all this time around, I certainly hope so for you

I really feel for SadSam too - it was her post about her nightmare of a holiday that made me join Mumsnet, I was so angry for her!

Being a stepmum is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do - I know now that it was naive of me but although I don't have children I have 10 (yes 10) nieces and nephews and I really expected to be fine and have no problems or worries! Yeah right!!

And yes I'm very nutty! So much so that I threw myself out of a plane at 15,000 feet in April just for fun

you not being a furious duck anymore squirrel? Havent bothered to change my nmae back as yet Welcome to all. Havent checked in on this thread in a while naughty girl I am.

It way too busy here for a Friday gotta fly

Hello, its me...

How are you doimg Slightlymiffedmoorhen?

Hope you are feeling better.

Just thought I'd share this with you

I had a bit of a runny nose when I came into work this morning and a colleague of mine said "Do your feel smell as well, 'cos if they do you were born upside down"

It took a while for me to realise what he meant but I got there in the end......

Not actually a mum read SadSam's hol thread again! she's not so sad today!

Hi ninah, yes I read it earlier and posted her a message - really pleased for her, she deserves it

Sorry havent been on for a while. Just in case you havent seen my other thread, I just wanted to thank you all so much for your help, support and warm wishes. It really heartens me to talk to such loving caring people. Thank you Ninah and NotActuallyaMum, you are right Im not so sad now but dont know how to change my name on here! lol

God I love this site!!!!!!!!

Doh! I forgot to hand over the golden big pants of biggness and the chief nutter crown (I remembered at 3am this morning!), I think that Tarantula deserves the title, she is def nutty enough.

Now use the golden big pants wisely Tarantula.

hi all, thanks for the welcome, just got back from hols, which I survived. Im sorry to hear about your problems squirrel3, thinking of you. Good news for you sadsam. Both skids at bm this week, so the house is nice and peaceful, just me and the toddler at the mo.

Wow Squirrel thanks Am not sure I deserve this honour but I shall try to the big golden pants of bigness wisely and promote the cause f stepmothers everywhere blah blah blah (has everyone fallen asleep yet?)