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Step-parenting

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Is she a step mother

54 replies

Lifeasitis91 · 01/09/2025 02:20

Ex and I have been spilt for a year now, he cheated on me a month later he was in a full blown relationship with her, 3 months later he moved into her home and 4 children

Anyway, we share a 7 DD - he only wants to see her when his new GF is around and her children, doesn't spend any time with her.
Due to the distance and no bed for DD to stay over he only sees DD twice a month on a Sunday, but travelling time is 3 hours in total, so she doesn't really see her dad, she also shares her dad's time with the 4 other children.
I've tried to talk to him, but he shuts me down and doesn't communicate about this, our DD was also recently diagnosed with ADHD and he hasn't bothered to "get involved"
Due to the way their relationship began, I haven't met or even had a conversation with his gf - he has smeared my name to Kingdom come!
But he has now started saying (to piss me off I'm sure) that his gf is my DDs stepmother!

I have a step mother, my parents divorced when I was 9, my dad met my stepmother a year later - I lived with my dad and stepmother for 7 months when I was 14 due to my mother being involved in a nasty car crash, my dad took my sister and I in for this time, while she recovered
My step mother became a parent to me, long before my mother's car accident, cooking, homework, attending school plays, helping with "girly life" attending parents evening etc everything that my own mother did. She never had any children of her own. However we never called her "mum" which is something I feel my ex would suggest my DD do.
My father is a fabulous man, he was very hands on, we stayed with him 3 weekends out of 4 and half the holidays.
My mum also remarried when I was 19, I never referred to my mum's husband as my step dad as he never done any parenting - to myself or my older sister.

My ex knows nothing about our DD does no parenting, never has done, never shown interest in our DD. But yet his gf is my DD stepmother!
I know I should ignore him, but he's really starting to get to me.

I understand why they think she is, I'm sure he's under the impression that he is her DC step father (they have a active father in lives as far as I know)
He was always "anti step parents" never took to the word, I was with him 10 years and now suddenly after 10 months he's all for it
Maybe I'm ranting, but please help me make sense of this.

OP posts:
Suednymph · 18/09/2025 10:00

@Lifeasitis91 why are you even entertaining her? She is NOTHING to do with your daughter. Absolutely nothing. She is your exes bedwarmer, not a step mother not anything other than his girlfriend. Your child is NOTHING to do with her. Next time hang up. Tell your ex you will not be dealing with her, you will only deal with him and if he cant run his own life and deal with his own parental responsibilities then he will need to go to court. Stop talking to her. Shes nothing, grey rock her/block her anything just do not converse with her again.

Lifeasitis91 · 18/09/2025 17:00

@Suednymph I'm not entertaining her, I told her that I would not be having any conversations with her.
She literally came on the phone within seconds - I have told my ex not to let that happen again and if it does I will put the phone down on her

OP posts:
PrawnAgain · 18/09/2025 17:19

This sounds like so much unnecessary drama. Poor kids being caught in the middle of it.

Lifeasitis91 · 19/09/2025 09:42

@PrawnAgain poor kid (I'm not overly concerned with her children) I'm concerned about mine.
He has completely forgotten her, fails to turn up doesn't respect boundaries, then gets his gf involved.
Yes it is unnecessary but the drama isn't caused by myself.

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