So many problems with SC

[M2p]

I have been a SM for about a year, SS 12 SD 9 yet I feel like this is just getting worse as it goes along.
At first yes it wasn't too bad, meeting them starting to get to know them but as time has gone on I've found myself separating myself from the situation trying to keep busy when their here. So they are very fussy eaters, will never try anything new and if I cook something ive made before that I know they like sometimes they say they don't like it and won't eat. If I don't have dinner done at a certain time all hell breaks loose and it's like I'm starving them to death but they never moan to me about it they go to their dad. They ignore me, even when my P is around, they will ask him questions to ask me. It's even worse when he's not in the house which is a fair bit as he works and he leaves them with me multiple times in the week, i will ask if their hungry and they will just say no all the time, but as soon as my P comes home the first thing they will say is their hungry and haven't ate like I've done it on purpose. Also SD stares at me all the time i can see her out of the corner of my eye. Sometimes she will just stand with her head poking round the door while im doing something it makes me so uncomfortable. These are just the main things there is also little other things that goes on aswell, has anyone ever experienced anything like this before?

So what is he expecting to do with his DS then? I do hope you aren't the one trying to sort the solution to this.

Op you sound like a lovely lady putting everyone else first but it’s time for you to put yourself first. You don’t owe this man or his kids anything. I feel quite sorry for the kids who don’t have a very good dad but that isn’t your problem.

Sorry there are so many to keep up on, I didn't realise so many was going to contribute which I do appreciate. I have and would never resent them because it's all new to them too which is understandable and I have tried to make a relationship but they are not interested at all but with how long it's been surly there would be some kind of relationship but there isn't

Fussy eater strategy:
always have sliced bread & jam.

For dinner we have X, we eat together. If you are still hungry after meal. You can make yourself some toast.
They must sit their while you eat, after you / they clear table. They can make toast.

To your partner - you know we always have toast if they are still hungry after a meal. They are 11&9, they can make toast. I think they are just waiting for you to come home to spend meal with you.

I hate seeing people complaining that in these situations the children are not paragons of immaculate behaviour, when all around them they are being passed about and disrespected.

Op may be more decent than the parents but it isn’t fair to put their manners and behaviour on them.

All the more reason to end this situation for all concerned.

What are you going to do tomorrow @M2p you do know he's gonna get up and fuck off to work and just leave the kids there right

Well you can move him right back out !

and if this takes you more than a day or so to do that, make sure you are out every time the children arrive at your home - he can parent his children himself and if he thinks he is going to work then he needs to take the children straight back to their mother as obiv he isn't going to leave them alone in your home.

@ChickenBananas I'll try go out before him 😂

I honestly think you're gonna have to cos I'd bet that'll be his plan

That’s not the OP’s problem!!!!

Her DP is forcing her to be a nanny to his iwn dcs. He has no respect further her and her time.
He has no respect fur his children fgs! Who would push for them to spend time at home with him only for him to bugger off and leaving them with the OP??

If the SS is feeling uncomfortable, thats on his father. It’s not up to the OP to pick up the pieces again and again

I agree with everyone else who is telling you that this man is taking you for a complete fool @M2p

Sounds like a really good idea!
He has been told and can’t play the victim.
And turn up the guilt etc…. to make you cancel your plans instead.

Here we go again. Woman meets man who has kids, is aware that he has kids, then starts moaning about the existence of the kids. They are just normal kids. Exhausting and infuriating. You are intolerant of them because their existence is inconvenient. Newsflash - they probably don't like you much either.

I agree she needs to exit this situation.

Of course it’s the father’s fault .

But she should try not to involve and blame the children.

Exactly.

Sad to say but you know you won't do this

They don't have to like her. They should RESPECT her and her home that she has allowed them to move into.

And yet another one does this......

So he didnt move out of the family home until he could move in with you? Never lived on his own or create a new home for his kids, just moved in and expected you to provide it?

You know what they say, no man loves you more than one who needs a bed for the night.

You have become (stolen from another thread) a nanny with a fanny. He gets free childcare, easy life and sex. What do you get out of this arrangement?

Stop being so passive op, get him out of your house, the children are equally victims of this shit man but they aren't your problem, when he goes so will they.

Hopefully he will sort out his own accommodation for his children but I'm sure he'll just line up another woman such as yourself.

It's not a Charles Dickens novel. They are just young kids, dealing with separation, living with someone who resents them

@TigerMum8 I appreciate your comments but I do not resent them

True, but I doubt the OP knew she was basically going to be the nanny.

Any chance of you sending him a message to say plans have changed and friend wants you to stay the night at hers? (Better check with friend first)
Then he can see to childcare tonight and tomorrow by himself.

I guess because so much respect has been shown to them it should be second nature to them? How do you think children learn these things?