So many problems with SC

[M2p]

I have been a SM for about a year, SS 12 SD 9 yet I feel like this is just getting worse as it goes along.
At first yes it wasn't too bad, meeting them starting to get to know them but as time has gone on I've found myself separating myself from the situation trying to keep busy when their here. So they are very fussy eaters, will never try anything new and if I cook something ive made before that I know they like sometimes they say they don't like it and won't eat. If I don't have dinner done at a certain time all hell breaks loose and it's like I'm starving them to death but they never moan to me about it they go to their dad. They ignore me, even when my P is around, they will ask him questions to ask me. It's even worse when he's not in the house which is a fair bit as he works and he leaves them with me multiple times in the week, i will ask if their hungry and they will just say no all the time, but as soon as my P comes home the first thing they will say is their hungry and haven't ate like I've done it on purpose. Also SD stares at me all the time i can see her out of the corner of my eye. Sometimes she will just stand with her head poking round the door while im doing something it makes me so uncomfortable. These are just the main things there is also little other things that goes on aswell, has anyone ever experienced anything like this before?

You have to tell him to go

Unless you want a lifetime of misery

Can you afford counselling/therapy?

Stay out!!

When are you going to sit him down and tell him that this situation is not working and you need him to go?

Op it’s so sad that you’re in the position. Do you have a plan as to how you’re going to tell him to leave?

So I've been out all day, I've had to pop back cause my phone was dying didn't even think to take a charger. No one has spoken to me so while my phones on charge I took some washing upstairs then I heard SD say 'where has my name been' and him reply with i don't know. As soon as my phone is full I'm going back out. Should be talking to him tomorrow night when the kids have gone home

I can't believe the lack of respect for you in your own home. Hopefully, the conversation you will be having with him is that he should pack his bags and move out.

He is an absolute parasite op, he has cuckooed his way in to your house and is sucking the life out of you with all the expected work for him and his children whilst he doesn't even contribute evenly.
He has to go.

Locksmith. Belongings on doorstep.

job done.

this is never ever ever going to get ang better - his attitude is entrenched.

you can’t demand respect.

For goodness sake, he's a lying snake as well as everything else. He knew fine well where you were off to today, but this gives him an excuse to blame you for the 12 year old being left home alone. I would have gone and challenged it and put him right, in front of the child, but then I'm menopausal and my filter has left the building for a lot of stuff I would once have put up with!
I would be saying to him right now that he has to go with the child and spend the rest of visitation away somewhere. Then he needs to come collect his things tomorrow once he has dropped them off at their mother's.

So as everyone knows I'm out, I've just had a phone call asking if I'm eating out. I said yes and i said there might be things in the freezer cut things short he ened it saying 'you do know there's f'ing 4 of us in the house' and put the phone down. Messaged me not to talk to him at all tonight and we will speak tomorrow

Well you will talk tomorrow as you will be telling him to pack his bags and leave

I’m furious for you. He obviously sees you as their slave.
You need to value yourself more. There is not a single reason in the world that you should be cooking and cleaning for them.
Kick him out. You will be so much happier

You haven't abandoned HIS OWN child to be cared for by wolves but left them to their own father.

Honestly OP, this guy is totally using you and the only thing that will make things for change is getting rid of him ASAP.

@M2p

Are you angry yet OP?

You need to find your anger and get this sorted tomorrow.

I wouldn't give him a notice period, I think he will get nasty.

I really hope that this is the moment where things turn around for you @M2p I hope that in the future you look back on April 2025 as the time when you found yourself, your voice and your power.

Piss taking entitled arrogant prick.

Did he leave their mum for you?

How can you not be angry OP, I am angry for you.

CFer...

I'd have replied "glad you've finally noticed but as of tomorrow evening there's only going to be 1 and it won't be you".

Absolute cheek of the fucker. He can feed his own kids!

Dont back down @M2p

The children are being deliberately manipulative. At the risk of being MN flamed, I would suggest that you play them at their own game. Cook their meals, and say "I know I'm not your mummy, but dinner's ready. If you don't want it, that's ok : we'll tell daddy and he can make you something." If SD persists in staring at you, stare back - make it a game. The first one to blink, loses, make a joke of it. That sort of thing.

You should reply: Don't worry, I won't be speaking to you tonight. I will be tomorrow though - this relationship needs to end.

This. How dare he behave as if it's your job to be there to cook for HIS kids? And why isn't he embarrassed that he can't cook anything for them himself? Get rid of this freeloader.

Your problem isn't your kids, its your partner.

Theyre playing up because you're new and theyre left alone with you. Parents split and they feel abandoned. Visit their dad and he goes off to work without them and they feel abandoned.

It's not you. It's not your fault but honestly you deserve better than being their nanny cook entertainments manager and punching bag. I'd be asking if this guy is for you

"you do know there's f'ing 4 of us in the house' and put the phone down. Messaged me not to talk to him at all tonight"

Whoever you may have thought he was before OP, this is who he really is.

So basically, he's throwing a fit because he's furious that you haven't done your unpaid childcare duties and now they are sitting in YOUR HOME waiting for you to come back and cook their dinner, because he is the boss and he doesn't have to do the servants work. You told him before hand that you were not available for duty and he ignored you completely and brought them round for you to look after anyway, because HE THINKS YOU WORK FOR HIM.

Its such a crime that you've shirked the unpaid duties he's imposed on you that he's punishing you by refusing to talk to you at all for the rest of the evening, because... gasp... for once he's going to have to organise dinner for HIS children, HIMSELF.

Well OP. How dare you not be at his beck and call? That is your role in life as far as he is concerned. He is a world class CF, only out for himself.

Please stay out tonight if you can and don't go back until the kids have gone.. I'd even wait until he's gone to work as all you will be facing is a big angry row when you return and you need to stay safe. Can you have a friend or a relative with you?