Break down

[2025letsmakeitthebest]

This weekend I hit my lowest in many many years and I broke down. I couldn't talk or think or do anything.
After initially blending really well the last 6-12 months have drained the life out of me. Sc has been consistently ignoring me and it came to a head this weekend. I felt my weekends with my own Children were being ruined and I had enough.
I suffer from long term mental health issues, ptsd, anxiety and lots more. In my head now sc has built up to being a huge trigger for my mental health. It's so hard as people are so quick to judge and I can't openly talk about my struggles.
The answer is not to leave my dh before anyone suggests it. We are very much in love and we are working hard to navigate all this and to keep everyone as happy as can be.
I just needed to get this off my chest.
The doctor is increasing my medications and I'm trying to put my mental health first.

Every post is worse and worse,he really is a perfect example of men who's relationship with their kids and the importance of that is dependent on who shared his bed.

It doesn't matter if they remember. They don't need to, they have a literal visual every time they come that he spends most of his time with 3 kids who aren't his.

Dh is amazing and is trying his best to help in any way he can.

Is he? Sounds like an awful situation for his children. Reality is if you choose to stay with him then his children are part of the deal, whilst you shouldn't be made to feel like this inside your own home, if your husband was trying his best he'd figure something out.

I can’t link the origional
post but you’re getting the same advice here

This seems like the best option.

But now he lives with 3 other kids pretty much full time. Were as before he didnt, and it being more suitable is questionable. If it's sharing space with kids with additional needs plus an adult with significant mental health conditions that isnt absolute for their wellbeing

Right...

So your DH chose to live 30mins away from his child and doesn't drive
You've chosen to live in that area because it more convenient for your children
SC doesn't have their own room because your children have more important needs.
SC is now living with 3 older, unrelated children who all have health conditions and additional needs
And all of the above was in the space of 2 years of this child's parents separating when before that they presumably had their father to themselves during their contact time.

You and your DH have basically prioritised your relationship and your children over this child who is now so far down the list of priorities and they are obviously feeling it.

And you're wondering why they're pissed off and won't acknowledge you? And you have the nerve to say this poor child is triggering you??? 😅

You've both monumentally fucked this child's relationship with their father up and it's only going to go one way from here without change... less and less contact until your DH has no relationship left.

your SC is communicating with you and your DH. If you want, you could try to work out what they are trying to tell you how they feel and what they need. It might mean you and DH need to make some changes though

or you could keep feeling sorry for yourself because you are ‘triggered’ by a 7 year old.

Suitable home life? I wouldn't call this suitable. And I'm sure that the time he spent with his child before was far more valuable as it didn't include another woman and her 3 children who have health problems and special needs.

I also now remember your previous posts and remember you got good advice, which was basically if your DH wants to salvage a relationship then you should live apart.

Why are you posting about this again if you're not interested in taking any of the advice?

This is you right?

Blending www.mumsnet.com/Talk/stepparenting/5248235-blending

I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I have a mental health condition that isn't in a good place.
I am trying to understand sc and help them in anyway I can.

@WeightLoss2025 yes thsts the one
you had great advice in the last thread
your partner is a cick lodger you’re enabling him your kids are suffering what’s more to add

Reading this thread and your other thread your sc is getting the crumbs here..does your unemployed dh even pay maintenance for his son?

All of this...

3 of the 4 children are miserable, your husband doesn't work or drive. There's nothing good about this situation at all.

But you seem adamant that you won't consider living separately or splitting, you just want the children to fall in line so you and your DH can have your relationship.

For a woman who says they suffer from trauma from their own parents separation, you're making an absolute mess of another 3 children's childhoods, you'd think you'd know better.

All of this, poor children.

Why make another thread ? With a name change FMl

30 mins away is not far?! Why can't he go and see his child after school and take them to McDonalds or something a couple of times a week too?

What an absolute fucking shit show.

I find it really really hard to have empathy for adults who are so selfish that they prioritise their needs for a romantic and co dependent relationship with another adult over their kids wellbeing. Be it nuclear or blended family unit.

It's just a cycle of generational trauma passed on from one set of fucked up adults to kids to grow up and try their best not to be fucked up adults.

This

That child has been very badly let down. Poor decision after poor decision and a total lack of accountability by you and your DH. Their needs must take priority over the adults own for once or you will have one completely fucked up little boy with implications for the rest of his life.

The adults in this situation need to stop being so bloody selfish.

OP, I think I have read multiple variations of this thread from you.
You are mad about your husband, married quickly, he lives off you, you have children with additional needs.
He doesn't drive and you do and pay for it all.
Is the above correct?

You are putting this freeloader ahead of your own children and the weight of your load is causing you huge MH problems.

This man is as disaster to you and your children and will remain so.

He doesn't drive or work.

What a vile post.

Is it possible for you and your children to stay with family on those weekends just for the time being?

Why?

I am thinking of some ideas for us to at least be out in the daytime when sc is here.

He does already do this. Picks sc up from school and takes them out for food during the week.