End of maintenance - what to do?

[Donewithitt]

DSS will be 18 this year, so his maintenance payments will stop. Which are around 1.5k per month (not including school fees)
We are pretty sure DSS's mum will KO about it, is there anyway to mitigate this?
DH is planning to write to her at the end of this month to let her know it's stopping, so it doesn't come as a shock and she has 10 months to prepare.
Currently we can afford to continue the payments and plan on diverting the money, minus the school fees into savings for DSS so he'll leave uni with a lump of 50k - which he can access for a house deposit.
Has anyone done anything similar?

He is going to university and you’ll start subsidising directly for fees and maintenance as he lives away - totally fair. The car and holidays are a bonus - lucky lad. He also lives 50/50 between the houses it seems.

I don’t know what else people expect. If he does a phD is the OP supposed to pay maintenance until he’s 25?!

You’ve been very fair to date with fees, maintenance and other costs. But once he has left school and is over 18, it’s a direct route now.

“we believe” “we want” “we think”

butt.out.

If i was the DSS and i had you telling me that you believe it’s important i work through uni or you think etc etc…. id be a little 🤷

How did you reach that conclusion?
Supporting him at uni
Giving him a car allowance

High and dry .

Have you seen all the support he will continue to get from his Dad and StepMum??

On .gov it says it stops 'when they leave education before they are 20' (or 31 August after they are 16).

Why did you post if you’re so sure about your decision?

Get a job? My DD is paying her own way through university. A lot of kids do, and they do actually survive and get through it.

from his dad
not the op

Why should she butt out? Their finances are family money and her StepSon is clearly important to her.

The OP is the step mum.

Some people really can't read.

The Dad is her Husband?

yup

and the maintenance figure will have been agreed between the dad and his ex and based on his income

Of course it's from the OP too 🥴

Where will he live in the uni holidays?

What on earth do you mean? They’ve said they’ll pay his uni fees, an allowance & a car but not maintenance to his mum. In what sense is that high & dry???

With the list of what you do pay, you are being totally fair.

This post is a great example of how step parents can never be right on Mumsnet, it is very skewed against them.

the op doesn’t think she’s being even the teeniest bit unreasonable
fair enough
so why start the thread?

I can read. The op is married therefore whatever finances are set up directly involve her too.

Anyway, back to the op. The other parent will know the money to them will be ending and will probably be aware you will both be giving directly to the ds.

this isn’t the step parent “getting it right” 🙄

surely the dh made the decision

if the op left her husband or vice versa… his arrangements with his ex wouldnt change

Many people just want to canvass opinions they aren't actually asking people to tell them what to do.

I think @ttcat37 may be in her own bubble world where reading comprehension is not a thing.

what to do?

why ask op. you have ready decided what you’re going to do

If he's still at college, on a full time course, your husband will still have to pay maintenance until he leaves full time education (see .gov site for exact wording)

Depends on the level of education.