End of maintenance - what to do?

[Donewithitt]

DSS will be 18 this year, so his maintenance payments will stop. Which are around 1.5k per month (not including school fees)
We are pretty sure DSS's mum will KO about it, is there anyway to mitigate this?
DH is planning to write to her at the end of this month to let her know it's stopping, so it doesn't come as a shock and she has 10 months to prepare.
Currently we can afford to continue the payments and plan on diverting the money, minus the school fees into savings for DSS so he'll leave uni with a lump of 50k - which he can access for a house deposit.
Has anyone done anything similar?

Do you think that there are occasions when parents have shared custody such as 50 / 50 but one of the parents also pays maintenance towards helping the other parent with the associated costs of supporting a child?

Why has the op started a post if she’s so sure of her decision? Just for a head pat and a well done?

Have you read the OP?

"DH is planning to write to her at the end of this month to let her know it's stopping, so it doesn't come as a shock and she has 10 months to prepare.
Currently we can afford to continue the payments and plan on diverting the money, minus the school fees into savings for DSS so he'll leave uni with a lump of 50k - which he can access for a house deposit.
Has anyone done anything similar?"

It looks like she is asking if anyone has reminded the ex that the payments will be coming to an end just to give her a heads up

That isn’t how it reads at all.

So what do you think the OP is asking for?

The OP says "What to do" in the title.
She says:

"DH is planning to write to her at the end of this month to let her know it's stopping, so it doesn't come as a shock and she has 10 months to prepare"

And then:

"Has anyone done anything similar?"

I’ve honestly no idea what she’s asking for. It’s not her child. I wonder if the father of the child is interested in what mumsnetters thinks he should do

Yeah it is. Looks like the issue is your reading comprehension not OPs post. Or your overwhelming bias which is blinding you to the actual scenario posed? 🙄

So many posters with incorrect info about CMS rules. And not relevant anyway as OP is not in UK.

@Donewithitt Your plan sounds very generous, Don’t forget that both parents are expected to support their child, so if DSS is getting everything he needs for uni from Dad then I’m sure his mum can cover food/energy costs for the 50% of his holidays he is not at his dad’s.

Good idea for your DH to reminder her in writing.

I think you need to step away from this thread @ttcat37. You’re trying so hard to paint the OP as a villain and it just doesn’t work. Either you can’t understand, you’re working through your own feelings about something, or you’re trolling.

if DSS is getting everything he needs for uni from Dad

I thought the plan was Dad would pay uni fees - but, especially if DS will be living away from home like he wants to, there will be many other university expenses? Accommodation to start with…

Because if the childcare time and costs are shared 50/50 (ie equally), why should one household give money to the other household?

Maybe one parent can see that the DC at another house is potentially living in poverty at that house because one of the parents has a lower income so tries to make up a bit if they are on a better salary and can afford it. They don't want to see their DC in poverty at one house even if they are sharing 50 / 50.

Maybe one household is much wealthier than the other, and the richer parent wants to provide a higher standard of living for their child even when they’re with the other parent.

Or I just disagree?

You do have an idea as it's written right there in the opening post and the other poster highlighted the exact words. You're being difficult just fir no reason. Since op is married to the dad and this is her step son and she contributing financially also, as she often states 'we can afford...' then yeah she does have a say and a right to ask for opinion of age wants to

Who is going to be paying his uni fees, rent, transport costs and food during the holidays when he's a student? Just the mum? Or is is expected to get a job to cover it all?

Having read the OP's posts, what do you think the answer is to that question?

I don’t agree with the majority on this. Someone in a ‘mood for a fight’ would probably be arguing. I’m not. I just don’t agree with you.

Can I ask what you think the majority agree with?

I’m not interested in getting dragged into an argument, in all honesty. Unlike many in this thread apparently!