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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Bitter ex

131 replies

Sarahbrown23 · 26/08/2024 17:20

Hi all,

after years at court fighting for my partners two girls for more access and after vile accusations from her we have had the two girls every other weekend for around 12 months. My partner had recently started a new job where now one weekend out the 4 we have the girls he has to work on the Saturday. He is here on the Sunday. Therefore on the Saturday I’m here at home with the girls and we always go out for the day. My partners ex had now found out and had threatened to not allow my partner to see his girls if he isn’t present! (We have been together 8 years). I’m pretty sure if we went back to court the judge would agree with us that is when the girls are in our care it’s up to us who looks after them….surely she can’t carry on dictating?! Any advice would be great if you’ve been in similar circumstances. Thanks xx

OP posts:
Shoesshoes87 · 28/08/2024 10:57

Sorry did not mean to be so long!

GiveMeSomeWaterItsHot · 02/09/2024 10:02

I’m sure mum would be more annoyed if he lost his job and couldn’t pay maintenance because he refused to work those Saturdays 🤷‍♀️ This is all about control and the ex needs to think of that sort of thing, see the bigger picture so to speak.

CherriBerri · 08/09/2024 12:10

Heatwavenotify · 26/08/2024 18:32

It’s really not about the ex. It’s about the kids. Because holidays etc are not what is important. It’s time. And he clearly doesn’t prioritise time with his kids. So maybe reflect on your ‘Oh dear..” comments. Because your husband is not putting his kids first when he takes a job that stops him seeing them. He has very little time to be a dad. That is what a good dad would have realised. I’d be embarrassed to be bitching about the ex being unhappy with your partners poor effort. Shame you are not self aware enough to realise that.

Show quote history

But if he stopped work and was on benefits like mum, you’d be trashing for getting out of CM, even if he spends time with kids. The father working often is common in whole families, just the cons are worse in split families. But that’s just the outcome of a family failing.

Heatwavenotify · 08/09/2024 12:33

@CherriBerri And if the moon was made of cheese….My point being my comment was based on the facts presented, not quoting someone to disagree based on what ifs.

The point is he fought for a very little amount of time. And then decided to prioritise getting a new job over seeing his kids in the very short window he had them. He has 26 days a month to prioritise his income and 4 days to prioritise his kids. He chose to sacrifice his time with his kids anyway. And as Op points out it’s for holidays etc. That’s his choice but it’s hardly unexpected for the Ex to be annoyed with him fighting her for time just to then palm it off.

Most kids would rather see their parent for the little time they get.

thestepmumspacepodcast · 09/09/2024 17:14

What do the girls want to do? Be with you or be with their Mum?

Is swapping a day an option?

KhakiShaker · 09/09/2024 17:44

Lots of people on here making lots of assumptions. How does anyone know dad hasn’t asked to swap the weekend and mum is just being difficult? That’s exactly what my partner’s ex would do, then continue to moan!

Also it’s not about what the mum wants, which many posters on here seem to forget. It’s about what the kids want. Perhaps they want a day a month with their SM, who has been in their lives for 8 years? They aren’t possessions of their mother ffs

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