Husband being dramatic over holiday

[Pluddy67]

I recently went away with a friend abroad.

I purchased my 2yo a small gift whilst there and also rang to speak to her every day. I also bought my sister a gift as she helped a couple of the days collecting from nursery when H wasn't home yet.

Husband made comments when I got back about it being unreasonable that I hadn't bought something for DSS. He also mentioned the fact I never even asked to speak to DSS or say hello when I facetimed our DD.

I think he's being silly and a bit dramatic. Especially re the facetime thing. Of course I missed our DD and wanted to see her. It may sound awful but I didn't think about DSS once and certainly didn't miss him, why would I be desperate to say hello to him?

DSS is 11 for reference.

Not sure how it fell flat 🤣

Gosh the OP sounds insufferable. Let’s hope her absence means she’s been reflecting on her behaviour

Oh dear how unthinking and downright mean. There are givers in the world and there are takers. You're definitely not a giver.

Don't blame your DH for being furious.

God bless the poor little kid, and you really can’t see how selfish and cruel and he comes to stay 3 days a week. With your attitude poor little sod must dread it.

I actually agree with your husband. I don't know how anyone would think it ok to buy a gift for one child but not another. Also you admit you didn't even think of them while away. That speaks volumes to me

You are boiling my piss your selfish cruel attitude shines through in all your comments. Makes my stomach turn that you think you have not done any wrong feel so sorry for ss as you obviously think
its perfectly normal

Why wouldn't you think about someone you share a life with? How odd. YABU

Pretty sure you expected us on MN to support your behaviour.

Good thing you didn’t put a poll up because you’ld definitely have got a 100% YABU!

Evil step mom vibes. Ugh.

This has got to be a troll post, surely.

It definitely did 😂
Mum's deserve a break too. Dad's, second parents, grandparents etc are all capable to watch a toddler.
This poster isn't a nice person though, no escaping that. That's why they've not been back.

OP you might think that he doesn't give a shit, but he will notice your lack of interest in him and he is reciprocating what you are giving. I imagine he spends a lot of time talking to friends as he doesn't feel welcome in your home. You're the adult in this situation, there's a responsibility to try, even if this child doesn't know how to respond back for a while. This isn't small or minor, your husband feels how you both do about your daughter, about his Son too, and you've hurt him by this display of disconnect.

SS is part of DH. He is his world, as is your daughter. If I were DH I'd take it personally too. You have two kids, you gave birth to one of them.

Just seen SS is 11 too, maybe you're why he doesn't interact with you. I bet you put a sour taste on him wanting to see his dad.

Gosh yeah, it really did!!! 🤣

Reading over this again I can’t actually believe your husband married you. Did you pretend to give a fuck about this child at the start? I’m a step mum and this is blowing my mind the more I read/think about it.

My stepfather used to hit me, but never my half-brother or half-sister. After I left the family home, the first Christmas, I must have been 19, I was kicked out for no reason on Christmas Day and had to hitchhike back to London. I have never been allowed back to the family home since. My (late) mother always said I was the favourite of her three children (^^) but would never confront her husband, or stand up for me.

He moved in when I was 3. I never knew my real father at all.

When I phoned, and SF answered, he would say nothing to me except "wait a minute I'll get mum". In the last 40 years, I've met him 3 times (including my mum's funeral, which was an awkward encounter, but civilised).

OP: I don't think YABTU, although forgetting the present probably was a bit selfish. I guess my stepfather never intended his relationship with me to be as difficult as it turned out to be. I hope you can find it in you to respect or even love DSS a bit more than my SF did me, because that experience did quite a lot of damage to my confidence and self-esteem, into my 20s and probably 30s.

Christ after you post it takes you right to the end, and I've only just seen what a vitriolic turn the attacks on OP have taken.

I feel for you OP.

Are you for real???!

I don't think your own post was much better....seeing as you detailed an awful experience with your stepfather and said I hope you can find it in you to respect or even love DSS a bit more than my SF did me, because that experience did quite a lot of damage to my confidence and self-esteem, into my 20s and probably 30s.

Honestly people are so over the top.

nothing wrong with getting your child a gift when you go away and nothing for your step child!

I went abroad last weekend for 2 night and brought back my kids some bits and nothing for my DSD. It didn’t even cross my mind to get her anything as I gave it to my kids when I got back and she wasn’t around.

I also took my kids to paris last month and again didn’t bring her anything back.

The only time she gets anything from when we go abroad and she doesn’t come is when her dad is there.

Id never ask to speak to her on the phone either! People are odd, of course you want to speak to your 2 year old over step children.

She has 1 child. 🙄 she gave birth to 1 child.

Never heard of name changing? I do it weekly so I can’t be identified in real life.

I have no idea who the OP is. Strange you put effort into looking that up. Hmmm.

@Gogogowall so Step mothers aren't mothers? Bad take OP. I imagine you knew he had a child when you married him - they're a package deal, sorry.