Husband being dramatic over holiday

[Pluddy67]

I recently went away with a friend abroad.

I purchased my 2yo a small gift whilst there and also rang to speak to her every day. I also bought my sister a gift as she helped a couple of the days collecting from nursery when H wasn't home yet.

Husband made comments when I got back about it being unreasonable that I hadn't bought something for DSS. He also mentioned the fact I never even asked to speak to DSS or say hello when I facetimed our DD.

I think he's being silly and a bit dramatic. Especially re the facetime thing. Of course I missed our DD and wanted to see her. It may sound awful but I didn't think about DSS once and certainly didn't miss him, why would I be desperate to say hello to him?

DSS is 11 for reference.

Would have been nothing to you to pick up some chocolate at the airport but would have meant a lot to him. Poor kid. My ex's now ex wife was great until she had her own children, that's why she's now an ex.

I stated mine too and you didn't have to listen either.

Again he might not have been that bothered about that, but only really thought about it after you came home and didn't bring SS a token gift!

This situation is why I would never get in to a relationship with anyone with children (I am married with children)

I know that I would NEVER be able to treat them the same or even consider them the same as my children.

I find this post quite sad and your feelings toward your dss is nothing short of disdain/contempt. Poor child.

How very sad that you dislike your daughter's brother so very much. Does she also hate him? So sad for your husband and his children. Was your husband aware of your feelings when you married? The 11year old child is part of your husband, of course he is going to be upset that you don't care about him - it's his child! Utterly self absorbed to think he's being dramatic in any way. How would you feel if your husband treated your daughter this way? It never ceases to amaze me at the cruelty inflicted on innocent children by their stepmothers. Not all, of course, but like the op there are so many that work hard to estrange and alienate stepchildren as if they were unaware that those children are as much a part of their spouse as their own children are! That child deserves so much better than to be treated as a bag that gets shuttled to another woman's house every few days. My heart breaks for how he feels inside as the recipient of your obvious hatred of him. It's equally sad for his sister and father as they have to live with your obvious feelings toward this child who has done nothing wrong.

This post might be the saddest I have ever read on MN. I can only assume OP wanted a thread full of people agreeing with her but that has not happened.
OP, you are part of a blended family, all of the children need to be treated equally. Not only has your DSS got separated parents and moves between 2 homes, his SM doesn't even think about him or consider it worth getting him a tiny gift. OP, I hope you can reflect on this thread and consider changing your views....

He's right. He's upset you don't think his son's as much a part of your family as your shared child, and that you treated them differently. Of course you don't think and feel the same way about a child you didn't give birth to, that's only natural. But you can control how you choose to behave towards them both, and consider everyone's feelings.

I have no words!! Your husband and step son come as a package. The fact that you can't see what you have done is a problem in itself!

Why did OP even ask when she just wants to have a go about all answers 😂

I hope the dad is on mumsnet and can see that his wife is a walking red flag and everyone agrees with him….

Your husband is right

I think you are being very mean how would you feel if your DD was your husbands Step daughter and he treated her so unkindly like you are his son. I'm on your husbands side

You may think your lack of emotion wouldn’t affect your SS but I bet it does. It could explain why he doesn't care if you're around or not. It doesn’t really sound like you like him. Why marry someone with a child if you don’t plan on thinking of them as family?

Wow you don’t seem the slightest bit interested in your ss. Another person who clearly has no intention of putting the effort in to become a blended family and treating the children fairly.

I feel so sad for this young boy, of course you should have brought him something small back, and asked after him when you were away. Even if you don’t think he is bothered, your manner towards him will be affecting him for sure.

I agree with this.

Pretty shitty tbh.

Christ, i went away for 1 day for work and bought my ss two wee pressies.

He lives with you half the time and you didnt think of him once? Why the fuck did you marry a man with a child if you cant be arsed with his child?

Not talking to him is fine, although a text to him would have been nice. But you could have at least asked after him and pretended to give a shit.

I suspect there’s a lot more to this than is being revealed

I have a feeling that OP's dd will definitely have a stepmum in her future and I hope she is a good one.

Congratulations on being a step-monster! Honestly, even in your replies you completely lack self awareness or any insight.

Op I don’t think your DH is being dramatic at all, I think YOU are being dramatic y coming on here writing a post about it and asking people and then trying to defend yourself when you’re not getting the answers you want!

You sound incredibly selfish and yes I think it is extremely mean to buy your own child a gift but not your step child. Neither did you bother to ask about him! By doing that you are making it clear that you don’t give a shit about him! Your husband is upset by this, as any parent would be and now you come on here and call him dramatic? Wow, just wow!

Do you think maybe its you? You've said this is minor and he is oversensitized but pretty much every comment on this post said you were in the wrong.

I may not have asked to speak to SS but I'd definitely have said at least 'everything OK with SS?'? And would have ensured both children got presents.

I have a feeling husband is sensitive because this is not a one off and he is picking up you have zero interest in his son and even when raised with you that you can't see it.

Poor SS I hope he is oblivious to your indifference.

This

Are you being gaslit?????
Maybe you gave birth while om a coma and its really your blood son......