Dh being made redundant

[supertatos]

For transparency I've NC as potentially outing if linked to other posts I've made.

DH is being made redundant. He's told the ex of the current date his maintenence payments will currently stop unless he finds a job. Even then it will likely be a reduced payment for a while due to nature of his current role.

I inherited a largish sum of money and have paid for the refurbishment of the kitchen which we couldn't really hide from the DSC. It was much needed as the existing kitchen was falling apart.

Obviously now the ex is kicking off saying he shouldn't be spending his money on that etc. He's told her it was my money. So yeah..you can guess what's coming..she wants me to pay the maintenance payments instead.

Am I right that my money is nothing to do with it even if it is a large lump sum inheritance or can she take this to court?

Sorry - I've tried to answer as they come up.

So the kids are here with DH EO weekend and half the school holidays.
I do not know if she will struggle. I don't think she will she has a good job and no mortgage but obviously thats not all there is to outgoings but it will impact lifestyle. I don't know how long she will manage. I don't know how much future earnings will decrease by as he hasn't got a job yet. Functional help? Erm..he could have them longer in the holidays if they wanted.

Does his ex have respect for you in general or only now your purse is full?

If she makes an application for CMS, she would be awarded zero if he has no job. If he claims benefits it'll be a maximum of £7 per week. CMS can't touch your money, as they are only legally able to review his financial position.

If she can then pay thousands of pounds of solicitors fees to try and take him to court, I'd have thought that money would be better spent on her DC, rather than chasing a man for money he hasn't got. Your finances won't ever be factored into any CMS calculations.

What did the gas, electric, water, council tax, mortgage, credit card, phone, internet companies all say when he let them know he could no longer meet those responsibilities too?

If she was still with him, she'd be suffering the same financial loss from his redundancy.

Why does she think she is entitled to benefit financially from someone else simply because she is no longer in the relationship with the obligated parent?

You absolutely owe her nothing.

They probably all said, have some breathing room, make the minimum payments, and we can see what we can do.

Mortgage payments will probably have a payment holiday.

Also the OP could take over as its THEIR HOUSE, THEY ARE NOT HER KIDS, SHE WILL COVER THE SHORTFALL AT THEIR HOUSE NOT THE KIDS HOUSE.

Will the Ex help her the OP partner when the kids are at his house, its only fair if you think another women should pay.

This!

if they were still together she’d not be expecting anyone else to step in and make up the financial loss to the household, so why is it different because they aren’t together?

Your finances have absolutely nothing to do with her or your SC.

If she was still with your DH, nobody would be offering to pay extra money. She isn't offering to help you out considering you are also losing money...

Don't sweat it. He has been made redundant isn't his fault and it must be really stressful for him & you. She can figure it out until he gets a job again, as you & DH will have to.

I too was going to comment if they were still together their lifestyle would be taking a big hit, why would it be different just because there is a step parent on the scene.

He hasn't given them notice but he will tell the mortgage company as that is in the t&c and I will make up the shortfall in this house as we pay in proportion to our income and his will be £0. His children are not a household bill...

He has no credit card.

If we need to adjust payments to them or get into financial difficulty we will let them know.

Yeah it's going to be stressful but fingers crossed! Thanks everyone. I have the answer I was looking for - unlikely to be a legal right to my money

This !

Just go via CMS and that is calculated on his income, which is nothing post redundancy

@supertatos she has absolutely no right to anything you have/earn/inherit/savings or anything else you can think of. None what so ever. Wouldn't even make it to court

Don't pay her a penny or the expectation is set. Your money is nothing to do with the cms.
And I say this on both sides of the situation

Who is also now going to have to make up the shortfall in her own household income.

yet she is also expected to stretch to another household she has no responsibility for 😂

did someone actually suggest downsizing or selling up in order to keep paying maintenance? Where are the children meant to visit? Where is o/p and the rest of her family supposed to go?

seriously. It’s redundancy. She’ll have to cope same as any of us do.

Nah, it’s not your responsibility at all. Like many have said, it’s no different to if they were still together and he was made redundant. It’s between the two of them to support the kids, not the three of you. Your responsibility is keeping finances ticking over for your household, not someone else’s.

(I’m assuming you’ve just inherited a normal amount and not millions though 😁)

Legal position is his maintenance is calculated on his income

Not your income. Not your capital, savings or inheritance and indeed not even his if he has any.

You clearly stated he may initially earn less from any new employment so unsure why people would jump all over you.

The answer is No you do not have to support the children in the context of them living at their mother's. No doubt you will be paying mortgage and bills and food etc at your own home and thus supporting them when they are having contact with their father at your home.

Don't get into loaning him money etc as I assume you are a partnership anyway. While he earns nothing he does not have to pay anything and when he starts to earn again he pays based on his income unless he chooses not to and to pay more.

BUT ABSOLUTELY NO - payments are NOT down to you.

Not relevant to the Op (potentially her husband though) but there is something really wrong with the U.K. that a non- resident parent's contributions are legally determined to be dependent on income as if a child's needs are also similarly optional. Really morally repugnant that in society snd on MN it's largely accepted.

What else could they be determined on?

@MooseBeTimeForSnow the needs of the child?

@sunnyday98 so when this father is earning £0.00 - due to no fault of his own. Where do you think he will get this money to fund this expectation you have ?

The needs of the children will be met by their mum. I'll be meeting the needs of my child.

If both parents took that view how would the child survive? There's double standards - the non-resident parent only has to do what they can, the resident parent must find a way.

@supertatos but they have two parents so both should be responsible

Where is the line drawn? What if Jacinta needs a pony, the latest iPhone and two weeks in the Bahamas?