The most ridiculous/hilarious/ludicrous thing you've read here?

[AbigTurtlesTail]

I'll go first...

An OP being told she shouldn't have a phone background picture of only her children because it may make her stepchildren feel excluded

Wow. Unfortunately the majority on here are absolutely batshit and have lost their hold on reality and what’s acceptable or not.

Wtf ! It’s almost funny. Almost.

Bit late but I thought I'd resurrect this thread to add when people refer to being in a relationship with a dad they deem unfit as "rewarding him with sex". It makes me wonder what the hell their relationship is like if they see it as a vehicle to provide sex to men as a reward for good behaviour. It's such an odd thing to say.

This.
According to Step child's mum, it will never be acceptable for us to holiday without SC because we have other children together but she can holiday with her partner without SC because they go alone 🤦🏻‍♀️ Best part is SC makes it very clear they don't like being at our house, so only comes for a day or two at a time but is suddenly more than happy to spend a week with us if it means a weeks holiday away.

Has anyone here been reading the “why exhs remarry” thread over on the main board?

The headlines are:

1. So that losers like us will raise their kids for them.
2. Never for love. NEVER.
3. To make the first wives jealous.

Please link this - please share ?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5036761-to-think-that-this-is-why-fathers-remarry?page=1

I think that should work.

The OP is one thing but the 8 pages of vitriol are something else. And 85% of MNers agree.

my favourite part of that thread is the nodding dog "oh yes, men don't remarry for love, just for childcare' - and then have the audacity to spell out that the SM should be helping out do all the childcare to make the mother' life easier!!

My favourite two are…..
Mum can move as far away as she wants but if you dare to to move, even 10 mins away you are satan…. even if she moves 6 hours away to be with her current husband dad is entirely responsible for facilitating contact!

she can actively encourage daughter to call whichever new partner she is with ‘dad’ but if SD asks if she can call you mum (after having been together 16 years) you are satan!

Wrecks me!

Yes! That thread is a peach!
I mean, not sound bitchy as not in the spirit of MN but I'm an upgrade on DHs ex by most measures (obviously! 😆) and I do childcare and general donkey work infrequently as as a favour so... 🤷🏻‍♀️
Yeah, husband still seems to love me even though I'm not prostrate at everyone's feet eagerly awaiting my orders.

God I got absolutely torn to shreds by some nutter on here who thought I should pack my career in and move to the other side of the country to be closer to my step kids 😂

That thread 😂 You can tell then any first wives on it.

I don't do any childcare for my stepchildren because...they have two parents already! And guess want, my husband has never asked me to either.

As I said on that thread, a SP should do as much or as little as they wish because either way it's going to be wrong.

@Hoplolly its not just the first wives on (although many SMs are also first wives - both in the sense that they may have been married before and they may be their husband’s first wife, even if he had children with someone else - which probably upsets the anti-SM contingent more).

It’s also the former SC who blame their SM for their parents’ choices, and cannot bring themselves to believe anything that might make them reassess ghat position.

And the entitled parents who think a ‘partner’ means someone to delegate your responsibilities to. These posters generally insist their partner would be put on his ear if he didn’t provide the expected services and that he’s an equal partner - but, ultimately, the equality wouldn’t extend to making decisions about anything the poster disagreed with. These posters are horrified at the idea a SM might have boundaries and expect parents to parent their children.

And the people who generally want to maintain the idea that SMs are awful in multiple ways.

The fact is that some men do behave in the ways that OP describes. Although I think those men believe that love comes with obligations to provide domestic labour (just as the entitled mothers insist that any partner of theirs must take on the aspects of their parental responsibility that suit them). These parents tend to have a weirdly transactional view of love and partnership. My STBXH is one of these - I remember him angrily telling me there was ‘no point’ in a relationship if I wasn’t going to do childcare for his children so he could go to the gym etc (the etc being many, many things).

These, sadly, are the kind of men at bottom of so many of the problems shared on this board. But, they’re also the men at the bottom of so many of the non-step family problems on AIBU or relationships. These men are a subset of men that are always going to be over represented on MN threads because they so often are the problem. The father who stars in the current eating all his son’s Easter chocolate thread, for example, would be a shit in any context. If that OP divorces him, he’ll likely be a self and entitled prick in any future relationship.

I don’t really understand why people get so angry at women, especially SMs, when the issue is a specific man who is behaving badly.

My own experience: I’m expected to split my child’s savings account when they’re adults if SS mother hasn’t saved the same amount for him as I save for my child! He has 2 parents just as our child does, why should he get my child’s money (ie savings from 3 parents) when my child only gets savings from his 2 parents? It’s not my problem if SS mother can’t save as much as I do, if she saved more I wouldn’t expect her to split it so my child gets the same!

Who says you are expected to do this @Firsttimemum0558 ?

Tell your husband to stop being ridiculous @Firsttimemum0558 . His older child will have to live with his mother’s lack of saving on his behalf.

My DS will have far more in savings than STBXH’s older children. Their mother has elected to not work for the majority of their lives and only got a PT, low paid job when her daughter was 10. Her choice and not my or my DS’s problem that it has translated into his half siblings only receiving what their dad saves (£20 a month for each child).

I have a good job, always have. I save £50 a month for DS (in addition to what his dad puts in). The £50 a month I save for him will add up, even though he’s younger than his half siblings. That’s life.

Fair does not mean equal and there’s no need to compensate the SC for their mother making different choices. Especially not as, if the situations were different and the SC’s mother saved lots for them, the younger child wouldn’t be ‘compensated’ in the same way.

I think what's unsettling about that thread is the dehumanising way women speak about other women and how it's some how allowed if you're talking about a sm.

She's something to fuck occasionally and be his live in servant. I actually find it Uber creepy tbh. And although the dad has willing married another women, theres always that weird whiff of she was the ow or lead him astray to abandon his family. Like he has no agency and really shes the one to be hated.

You don't hear men talking about other men or step fathers is the same manner.
But step fathers need to just breath to be adored (so kind is he to love someone who has a child aka living proof she wasn't a virgin when he married her)

i think though men don't need to keep other women down. Plenty of women to do that for them tbh.

Its always telling about someones character when you hear them talk honestly about someone who they view is "beneath" them

I’ve just seen an absolute peach on here….. step kids have started to bring their dog from mums house to dad and step mums house in their contact time. A dog mum decided to get and was never a family dog before the split and some say step mum is being unreasonable for wanting to put a stop to this arrangement because she ends up doing the donkey work looking after an active young dog! Mind blown! 🤯

@livingnight and @ClutchingOurBananas thank you for your accurate and astute comments.

In particular living’s comment that we are often referred to to as something to fuck and then a live-in servant resonated with me. I was once called a “breeder” on this site for exactly this reason. And, as humiliating as it is to admit this, it has stuck with me forever.

To be clear, it isn’t that I think this is true about myself. I just feel sort of sad and humiliated to know that other women actually have these thoughts about women like me. Sometimes I even wonder if any of the women I consider friends IRL (safe in their first marriages) are thinking these things about me. I know many of them are MNers (and that this is a popular opinion here,) so it is plausible.

It was that last Disney one for me. OP going with her parent and her children alone, no dad. Of course she was meant to take SC. But probably not parent or discipline the child, but fine to take them abroad.

@JustEatTheOneInTheBallPit remember when people say that type of shit. It's not a reflection of you but a reflection of themselves.

People come on MN to be spiteful, that's because some people are so lonely and messed up that they have to put that spitefulness outwards.

My own experience: I’m expected to split my child’s savings account when they’re adults if SS mother hasn’t saved the same amount for him as I save for my child!
This is one of the most ridiculous things I've read on here, whoever expects that of you, I hope you tell them to fuck off.

I often find myself shaking my head at stepmothers who put their husband and his children before her own. You see it time and time again. They wont take their children on holiday, they cant have days out with their kids, they can't treat their kids to ANYTHING, they have somehow been convinced that they any decisions they make regarding their own kids need to be okay'd by their husband and his ex. They think nothing about putting their own dc's needs at the bottom of the pile to appease a man and his kids, who don't give a shit.
It is unforgivable to take from your own children to give to someone else's and far too many women are willing to do that. Before anyone comes at me, its the same story all over this board, so desperate to be in a relationship they convince themselves that their own kids needs mean nothing. That's what drives me mad on here.

Wholeheartedly agree.