The most ridiculous/hilarious/ludicrous thing you've read here?

[AbigTurtlesTail]

I'll go first...

An OP being told she shouldn't have a phone background picture of only her children because it may make her stepchildren feel excluded

[SemperIdem]

God so many.

The general belief that not loving step children to the same degree as your own children somehow makes you akin to Satan.

[Bananasandtoast]

I remember that one!
See also: shouldn't have a picture of your own children on your bedside table in case your DSC feels left out.
I think of that sometimes as I look at the triple frame of my three I have by my bed, bought as a gift by my DH who thankfully is not of the opinion that we all have to pretend DSD and I are mother/daughter.
I do think in communal spaces all the kids should be equal but to say that even in a SMs private spaces, like her phone or her bedside, she can't just have her own babies is to me just batshit.

[Bkjahshue]

The general belief that you can’t have an opinion about DC you have living in your home and are part of raising (the last one just isn’t accepted either).
But despite the above you should look after your DSC even when you’re unwell to do their mum a favour.
Obviously also that we knew what we were getting into (long hollow laugh there)

[AbigTurtlesTail]

Another favourite is the "its their home they can be there WHENEVER they want" who cares if they are a young child who needs someone in said home to care for them and their parent isn't there. They can be there whenever, you get no say whatsoever, even if its you being expected to do said caring for.

[AbigTurtlesTail]

The idea on SC threads that children can just choose when to be at their parents house regardless as to whether their parent is actually there is mad to me. I have a young DC, he can't just be at home whenever he wants regardless as to whether I'm there or not. Because he's 4. It's still his home.

[Whosmoralsarelastix]

Just simply: you knew he had kids.

Yes i did but I had no inkling what kind of mind games, petty squabbles and shitty behaviour two adults could lower themselves to even though they thought they were mature enough to have a child together.

I had no idea. I knew he had a child I just could not have have imagined how un-straightforward the situation would be.

And ALL that went wrong was my fault. Even though I did not choose to have a child, or was allowed any opinion over how that child was raised. It was still my fault.

[JustEatTheOneInTheBallPit]

This is a more generalised one. A routinely served slice of bullshit pie…

When a new person enters the board looking for some support… she’s desperate and on her knees. She uses the words “bio mum” because she doesn’t know the rules and within 2 hours she has been destroyed. She apologises 80 times and begs for someone to just help her instead of attacking her but it’s too late because she’s on Trending and god help her soul.

[AbigTurtlesTail]

@JustEatTheOneInTheBallPit

This is a more generalised one. A routinely served slice of bullshit pie…

When a new person enters the board looking for some support… she’s desperate and on her knees. She uses the words “bio mum” because she doesn’t know the rules and within 2 hours she has been destroyed. She apologises 80 times and begs for someone to just help her instead of attacking her but it’s too late because she’s on Trending and god help her soul.

Or even worse, when said mum barely even sees her kids and they live with OP full time who does all of the parenting and they still go off about the bio mum comment.

[Youcannotbeseriousreally]

That step children are more important than other children. They really aren’t.

[Motnight]

I am not a step parent. It's fascinating though that so many threads from step mums seem to be about the fact that they end up doing huge amounts of the actual parenting whilst the other 2 parents seem to view her as free childcare.

[LaMarschallin]

Showing my ignorance, I'm afraid, but what's wrong with "bio mum"?
I'm assuming it means "biological mother" and seems an accurate description.

[MagpiePi]

That any bad behaviour from SC is never their fault because they didn’t choose the situation. If the step parent tries to set any boundaries they are causing irreversible mental harm because they are totally rejecting the SC.

[Chocolatebuttonns]

The "second" children are basically free to raise, they cost nothing, need no quality time with their parents, basically just exist and that's fine because they live with both their parents.

Therefore all time / energy / finances can be directed to the poor step children.

[PTSDBarbiegirl]

'Penis beaker', just blood curdling.

[Chocolatebuttonns]

@PTSDBarbiegirl

'Penis beaker', just blood curdling.

Erm... You're in the step parenting section...

[Crucible]

Yep agreed, what is wrong with bio mum? Birth mother is an accepted term in Adoption situations, so this separates it from that very different circumstance. I will run away now.

[ClutchingOurBananas]

@Youcannotbeseriousreally

That step children are more important than other children. They really aren’t.

That is the ‘existing children’ argument. The people making it actually genuinely don’t seem to believe any younger children really exist in a meaningful sense. Other than as a dreadful event for which they and their mother should live a lifetime of penance.

Younger children should just be grateful they live with their dad FT. Even if they aren’t allowed a bedroom at all, or treats or days out, or for their mum to have a photo of them on her phone/buy them anything unless it’s a side effect of ensuring the SC are centred (and adequately compensated for the disruption that the existence of their half siblings represents).

That is basically how so many stepparenting threads go. And yes, the bulk of the rest of the threads are about telling a SM that she should be delighted to be treated as nanny/skivvy for her husband and his ex on call all all times, she should be paying for everything because his income belongs to his first family, and under no circumstances should she have an opinion about what happens on her own home.

[Prydddan]

My favourite.

If you have stepchildren, you are NEVER EVER allowed to go on holiday with your own child(ren) unless you take the SCs too. If you can't afford to take them all, you shouldn't go; and wanting to go with just your own children proves how wicked you are.

[Galeforcewindatmywindow]

That you can't honeymoon and leave dsc at home.

[PTSDBarbiegirl]

@Chocolatebuttonns

Erm... You're in the step parenting section...

Oops! Thought it seemed a bit SC heavy. Apologies, I revise to say definitely not 'Penis beaker', thank god.

[ClutchingOurBananas]

@Crucible

Yep agreed, what is wrong with bio mum? Birth mother is an accepted term in Adoption situations, so this separates it from that very different circumstance. I will run away now.

I think it can be problematic.

1. because stepparenting is hugely different from adoption.
2. because SC are not a SM’s children, in important ways for just about every situation.

But I agree the angry responses it gets are generally just so people can berate a woman who has often described a completely unacceptable situation which she’s being treated dreadfully. It lets the posters ignore that and get on with beating her with the evil SM stick.

[Bananasandtoast]

I do get why bio mum isn't accepted generally in this board.
For example, I am all the kinds of mum to my children, not just a DNA provider. I'd not take kindly to some future GF of DH reducing me to that level as if I was the one who had to be specified in relation to my own children! "Step" mums are the ones who need the extra intro IMO.
That said, I do feel bad for posters who use it without any malice and are then jumped on by the bloodhounds. It's pathetic.

[ClutchingOurBananas]

@Prydddan

My favourite.

If you have stepchildren, you are NEVER EVER allowed to go on holiday with your own child(ren) unless you take the SCs too. If you can't afford to take them all, you shouldn't go; and wanting to go with just your own children proves how wicked you are.

Even if you (or your parents) are paying for it.

[Redlocks28]

The posts about bedrooms with SC always amaze me. The replies suggesting that because older teen SC visit every other weekend, they should have dedicated rooms left empty for them, despite it meaning that the younger siblings who live there full time should have to share/sleep on a sofa/share with a parent/sleep a cupboard!

[Chocolatebuttonns]

@Redlocks28

The posts about bedrooms with SC always amaze me. The replies suggesting that because older teen SC visit every other weekend, they should have dedicated rooms left empty for them, despite it meaning that the younger siblings who live there full time should have to share/sleep on a sofa/share with a parent/sleep a cupboard!

Indeed and they should be grateful for that cupboard because their parents are together.