The straw that broke the camel’s back..

[JH20000]

Name changed.

I have had no end of problems with DP’s ex wife. She’s awful sorry to say and I’ve had abuse consistently from her.

My 3 step kids are challenging to say the least, multiple problems with them taking drugs, truanting from school, consistently being in trouble with the police, being disrespectful to everyone, stealing etc. I’m struggling massively to the point I’m now on multiple anxiety/depression medications. DP is very blasé about it all, and I’ve had little support from him. For what it’s worth I’m child free myself so struggling because I’ve never been in a parent role before.

His ex wife turned up on the doorstep this evening screaming and shouting because I told the eldest child off for coming back to ours late last week. He was supposed to be in for 9 and came in at 10.30 for context. She was leaning in for a fight, screaming abuse at me and stating I’m the reason the kids are badly behaved and that she’s reporting me to social services. 🙄

DP stood there throughout shrugging his shoulders stating that I shouldn’t have told the child off and that he agreed with his ex wife. I told her I was going to call the police as she was becoming threatening and she laughed in my face before storming off.

This is the straw that broke the camel’s back. I guess I just needed a handhold. I’m not sure why I’m putting up with this crap.

He's talking shit! If he had so many women he wouldn't be emailing you in the early hours. He's a nasty, horrid man who is doing everything he can to make you feel bad. If he was genuinely happy with his life you'd be an after thought and he'd certainly not be emailing you this shite

He's hilarious, so utterly full of shit!!

At best he has had a few shags, he isn't having a loving meaningful relationship and giving someone any of his time!

‘So many women’ bullshit.

I mean I might be tempted to say that my new boyfriend took me to NY for a holiday and then block him everywhere….. I know it’s not true but it will drive him crazy…

Don’t engage in his games.

What ever reasons he has for messaging you are in him - he’s either doing it to get your attention or this tactic has worked for him before and is expecting a jealous female to knock on his door begging to come back and it inflates his ego.

He’s still expects you to solve his problems - problems he’s caused himself.

He’s selfish and childish and not worth a second thought.

he adds on to the end about how busy he is nowadays and how ‘so many women’ are taking up his time.

Going against other pp. He could be telling the truth.
Solicitor, Estate Agent, Surveyor, mortgage provider, bank manager (for house) - most could be women.
Teacher, Head teacher, social worker, children's counsellor, police officer (multiple by the sound of it) - most could be women.
Ex wife - yep, definitely a woman.

So he might not be lying - just being very economical with the truth, which we all know he does that a lot.

When does the house sale complete? That will be the day you block all communication with him so a double celebration 🍾

I very much doubt that someone with so many women apparently hanging off the end of his rancid knob has time to be emailing his ex to tell them about it. God he’s laughable.
At what point can you block him OP?

Yep! More lies.

he adds on to the end about how busy he is nowadays and how ‘so many women’ are taking up his time.

Just feels like a gut punch. For someone who said he didn’t have any time for me at all when we were together he sure has suddenly found the time for others. I wasn’t worth a second of his time, was I?

1- he is saying because he wanted to hurt you. He knows-very well you had an issue with that

2- what does he think ‘having so many women’ means about him? Unless the idea was to make you jealous, the women are (if they are at all) interested in him means fuck all about him or amazing he is. That’s if it actually happens. I mean who would be interested let alone attracted to someone like that?

Definitely don't respond to it but I would be imagining a response of something along the lines of "I hope you're having regular STI checks".

You could have fun with this one!

"Just the one lover for me, best I've ever had tbh. Plus no need for STI checks now we're exclusive"

I remember laughing when I heard about my ex and his OLD.. His new conquests must have been secretly seething when he rocked up in his well mentioned Mercedes as per his profile.... The work's van. Think hard op what had he got to offer this apparent string of lovely ladies.......?

I really wish you could see him as we do op, but you're just in the thick of it at the moment.

He's a sad sack of shit. If he was having a life full of interest and wild sex with lots of women and enjoying himself he's not be texting you in the early hours. He'd not be emailing you about anything other than the divorce. You'd be an after thought. In reality he's sat in a shithole of a house because neither him or his kids have tidied. He's probably feeling awful and putting on weight because he's living on takeaways, his kids will turn on him soon because you're no longer available to torment. His ex wife will be giving him no end of shit and he's desperate to know what you've been up to.

Hang in there op, laugh this antics and curl ip in a nice peaceful house with no drama

Just caught up with your thread and so glad you have had the strength to extricate yourself from this mess. He deceived you from the beginning , and because you are a good person you believed him.
A man who doesn’t love his children enough to parent them, loves no one.
You are so young, give yourself a huge well done for getting out of this mess. You are a clever, kind, lovely person, none of this has been your fault.
Keep looking for the things that bring you joy and keep away from the things that don’t.
Sending massive hugs.

Anyone who has time to send ridiculous emails in the middle of the night and watch multiple sad YouTube videos, a “high-effort partner” (read between the lines there) and multiple kids does not have time to juggle multiple women.

It’s clearly miserable with living with the crazy lady again, and he’s using you to live a fantasy life. He’s deeply mentally ill (a nice person coming up against that when it’s untreated and mean is a nightmare, I’m so sorry) and a basic trash bin asshole. Sending you strength, and keep blocking him (but keep anything damning! Just put it in an out of the way folder.)

I’m not sure if I wrote this earlier but the housing situation is sorted and I’m now out of there, obviously. House was sold and now I can concentrate on buying somewhere.

He had to come around last night because I had a box of his random crap. He was very civil at first then decided to start bragging about him having ‘moved on’ quickly and how he has a negative STI test (he tried to show me the screenshot of it!) he was definitely rubbing it in that he has apparently ‘moved on’. He was trying to be all laughing and joking about it and my face was like this throughout - 🙄

I didn’t get upset and yes I should have closed the door on him but my dog ran out and spotted him before I could catch him!

It was like a gut punch to hear him bragging to be honest, I tried not to let it affect me but it did sting a little.

Oh and his parting speech was ‘well good luck with everything, I hope you find a new boyfriend soon!’

🤨🤨

he has definitely changed and I can’t unsee the fact he’s having a mid life crisis.

He is definitely having a mid life crisis. It's unlikely to end well for him in the long term. However happy he professes to be at the moment.

On the other hand OP, no matter what, you will end up happier, more secure and better adjusted ! I know.it stings but you've honestly escaped something awful

Good luck

What a loser he sounds.
I think he doth protest too much.

Likes anyone will stick around once they've met his kids or have to deal with his ExW he definitely doth protest too much unless he's using paid for services!

I’m not sure if I wrote this earlier but the housing situation is sorted and I’m now out of there, obviously. House was sold and now I can concentrate on buying somewhere.
Please let us know the moment you hand the keys over to the new occupant as that will be the day we willl have a collective sigh of relief and cork popping with you as you block this waster on all platforms, never to see or hear from him again. Even if you have to make a new thread 😉

It was very good to hear you didn't collapse in a heap when you saw him, or beg for forgiveness or another chance. This means you ARE healing, just slowly, which kinda proves how much of a headfuk he is. Keep moving forward

So glad you are rid of that waste of space.

All best wishes for a happy future for you,💐

Tell him you have a girlfriend

Or even better block him now. Any emails block and any calls or texts block.

So the house is sold agd he has all his belongings now.
Can you block him altogether?

As for the bragging about a clean STI test (wtf??) or having a gf or bf, does he really think that life is all about his dick and only his dick?
He's going to come back down and he’ll have a rude awakening I reckon!

@JH20000 the best revenge is a life well lived.
Concentrate on being happy, whatever happy means for you (and regardless there is a man in there or not!).

What a sad little man. I imagine his life is really shit just now and this is the best lie he can come up with. I bet his kids are ruining his life just now.