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Step-parenting

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Original poster

The straw that broke the camel’s back..

985 replies

JH20000 · 29/07/2023 23:58

Name changed.

I have had no end of problems with DP’s ex wife. She’s awful sorry to say and I’ve had abuse consistently from her.

My 3 step kids are challenging to say the least, multiple problems with them taking drugs, truanting from school, consistently being in trouble with the police, being disrespectful to everyone, stealing etc. I’m struggling massively to the point I’m now on multiple anxiety/depression medications. DP is very blasé about it all, and I’ve had little support from him. For what it’s worth I’m child free myself so struggling because I’ve never been in a parent role before.

His ex wife turned up on the doorstep this evening screaming and shouting because I told the eldest child off for coming back to ours late last week. He was supposed to be in for 9 and came in at 10.30 for context. She was leaning in for a fight, screaming abuse at me and stating I’m the reason the kids are badly behaved and that she’s reporting me to social services. 🙄

DP stood there throughout shrugging his shoulders stating that I shouldn’t have told the child off and that he agreed with his ex wife. I told her I was going to call the police as she was becoming threatening and she laughed in my face before storming off.

This is the straw that broke the camel’s back. I guess I just needed a handhold. I’m not sure why I’m putting up with this crap.

OP posts:
Seasideanticscanleadtosandybuckets · 08/12/2023 19:30

She sounds deranged.. Hopefully ss intervene against her now not be questioning you op...

unicornhair · 08/12/2023 20:06

If you do have to have it removed please come back when the house has been sold and everything is okay. Thinking of you.

I hope this all resolved as quickly as possible.

RandomMess · 08/12/2023 20:39
Flowers

Keep on keeping on.

stomachameleon · 08/12/2023 22:00

@JH20000 we are all thinking of you.

TheFoz · 09/12/2023 00:13

Keep going @JH20000, there is sunshine after the darkness.

Newestname002 · 09/12/2023 13:50

It's shocking how your life has been so adversely affected by this very dysfunctional family. If there is karma, may they all get their just desserts in the future.

Wishing you safety for the next while dear @JH20000 and calmer waters in the future. 🌹

Original poster
JH20000 · 09/12/2023 18:30

I think the adrenaline is wearing off and I’m starting to feel emotional about it all now. I won’t lie this has completely knocked me, dented my confidence in ever wanting a relationship ever again and I’m just mentally tired.

Thankfully got a good night sleep yesterday which really helped but I’ve not eaten much at all, so much so I’ve lost half a stone in a week. I’m forcing myself something small to keep energy levels up.

Everyone here is so lovely thank you to you all.

OP posts:
UWOT1 · 09/12/2023 19:34

@JH20000 you must be exhausted. Keep on fighting through. You are literally hard core.

HarrietStyles · 10/12/2023 14:37

You can get through this @JH20000 try eating a little and often if you don’t feel up to a whole meal. Or see if you can get some meal replacement drinks from the pharmacy with some multivitamins. You don’t want to make yourself ill. And don’t even think about another relationship in the near future - concentrate on the relief and freedom you will feel when you have a peaceful new home by yourself or with a friend, your old house is sold and you can block every single one of those old twats. That first day of your new life is so close and it will feel amazing. And know that lots of strangers on the internet care about you and are rooting for you 🥰

UWOT1 · 11/12/2023 14:37

@JH20000 u was thinking about you today. I hope you're okay x

Original poster
JH20000 · 11/12/2023 15:49

I’ve made a breakthrough with help of solicitor’s advice & he’s now willing to discuss… he’s coming back later but we both have free time tomorrow to talk. My cousin is coming back over for moral support then.

OP posts:
Original poster
JH20000 · 11/12/2023 15:50

I’m doing OK thank you. Will update more tomorrow

OP posts:
wildwestpioneer · 11/12/2023 15:56

Well done op, and good you e got support, he's less likely to try to bully you into something you don't want to do if you've got support.

Newestname002 · 11/12/2023 16:14

Sending you two handfuls of crossed fingers @JH20000 - wishing your freedom comes soon. 🌹

unicornhair · 11/12/2023 16:30

Good news, hope things progress swiftly.

UWOT1 · 11/12/2023 17:09

@JH20000 great news. I'm glad your okay

UWOT1 · 12/12/2023 13:26

@JH20000 I hope your talk went well. I'm keeping my 🤞 that you come to a resolution.

InAPickle12345 · 12/12/2023 18:02

@JH20000 been following your thread from the start and just read through all your post again start to finish... you've been seriously abused by these assholes, all of them, kids included.

Your strength is so admirable, you've done all of the right things and I'm a little in awe of you. Stay strong, take no shit and I hope you can get yourself away from there asap x

AsterixAndPersimmon · 12/12/2023 19:43

That’s great @JH20000 .
and good to have your cousin there too. Moral support yes but it might also help your ex to behave more appropriately

unicornhair · 15/12/2023 20:18

Just hoping your ex is continuing to stay away just now.

Original poster
JH20000 · 16/12/2023 13:02

Well the good news is that he is at last cooperating with me. I think the appt with the solicitor and what has come of that has convinced him that I’m not one to be messing with now..

He is also taking his children elsewhere when it’s his contact time as ex wife is still demanding that they have no contact with me at all and that includes taking them back to the house. I have heard her screaming down the phone to him lately about anything and everything but it’s not my problem anymore.

I’ve been a bit wary of sharing too much on here lately as he knows I have been on this forum and may have spotted this thread already (he’s not been one to snoop and I don’t think he’d even think to look on this forum so I don’t think he’s seen it but I can’t be 100 percent sure).

I am feeling emotionally a little better compared to last week.

just wanted to check in and say thank you to everyone.

OP posts:
ZeroFucksGivenToday · 16/12/2023 13:58

I'm so pleased it's more positive. It must be utterly exhausting for you.

Just Keep On keep on'ing. :) and look forward to the day you are free of them all.

UWOT1 · 16/12/2023 13:58

JH20000 · 16/12/2023 13:02

Well the good news is that he is at last cooperating with me. I think the appt with the solicitor and what has come of that has convinced him that I’m not one to be messing with now..

He is also taking his children elsewhere when it’s his contact time as ex wife is still demanding that they have no contact with me at all and that includes taking them back to the house. I have heard her screaming down the phone to him lately about anything and everything but it’s not my problem anymore.

I’ve been a bit wary of sharing too much on here lately as he knows I have been on this forum and may have spotted this thread already (he’s not been one to snoop and I don’t think he’d even think to look on this forum so I don’t think he’s seen it but I can’t be 100 percent sure).

I am feeling emotionally a little better compared to last week.

just wanted to check in and say thank you to everyone.

Your doing great @JH20000 . I hope there will soon be an end to this relationship and that you'll never have to see him again.

Reugny · 16/12/2023 14:04

@JH20000 thank your cousin from us.

Men like your ex don't like it when they have to deal with man as they know they won't be intimidated by their shit.

AsterixAndPersimmon · 16/12/2023 14:41

Slowly things will settle down, esp in a legal pov.

It sounds like he has been taken away by the ex and all her ‘it’s her fault/you have to demand xyz’ but a visit to the solicitor has put an end to that and has brought him back to Earth.

Its good.
You dint get the see through step teenagers. One less worry
He is out of the house when he sees them. Less time around him. Good too.

It will get better @JH20000