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Step-parenting

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Original poster

DSD sleeping in our bed

179 replies

Emotionalmama · 01/05/2023 11:58

from the outset just want to put it out there that me and DH’s ex do not get on at all but I get on exceptionally well with their daughter (4). She stays with us every other weekend and her mother always always always has something to complain about when she stays, mostly lies to be brutally honest. DSD stayed last weekend and got into our bed between me and DH and her mother has went mental saying it’s in appropriate for her to stay with me and DH. i didn’t think twice of it, I’m due our own baby in a few months so was a little bit of a squeeze but we all slept well and throughout the night. Is this inappropriate?

OP posts:
KatMansfield6 · 16/05/2023 08:07

Changechangechanging · 15/05/2023 20:12

Our Mums had a similar rhetoric to you, but we both carry significant damage from the lack of a Dad in our homes and in our lives

amd there you go, making assumptions about my rhetoric. My children enjoy a positive relationship with their father - because I have supported that. And despite his poor behaviour towards all of us, including a significant period of abandonment when they were young. And you’re very, very wrong if you think step mothers are all sweetness and light who would never accidentally or even deliberately cause harm (physical and emoti9nal) to their step children.

But nor are they always evil harridans. I’m not saying all stepmothers are wonderful… obviously. Some women are horrible people. I just think the anti stepmother was rhetoric on this thread is equally unreflective of reality, and is misogynistic.

PeterRabbitIsNotHere · 19/05/2023 16:49

Possibly missing the point but why the hell would you want to sleep with someone else's child??
I'm a step parent (or was) I now consider them my husband's children but nothing to do with me. I would never ever ever have wanted them in my bed.

Laurdo · 19/05/2023 17:05

PeterRabbitIsNotHere · 19/05/2023 16:49

Possibly missing the point but why the hell would you want to sleep with someone else's child??
I'm a step parent (or was) I now consider them my husband's children but nothing to do with me. I would never ever ever have wanted them in my bed.

I don't think it's a matter of the step-parent wanting the child in their bed, it's more so the kid wanting to get into bed with them.

I adore my DSD but I don't want her sleeping in my bed. However, if she had a nightmare or whatever and got into bed with us I wouldn't tell her no and I wouldn't get out the bed to sleep elsewhere.

Buddercud · 23/05/2023 22:42

When I started living with DP, his youngest DS slept with us every weekend for probably 2 years. I don’t think his mum really knew that, and I don’t think she would have liked it - I think that might be unreasonable but is certainly understandable. I mentioned it to DP and left it up to him to decide - if he had chosen for it to stop because of her feelings about it, I would have understood.

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