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Disney world dilemma with dsc!!

359 replies

thegoodpart0 · 18/03/2023 13:18

Well prepared to be flamed for this but here goes…

i have been saving up to take my children to Florida since my first ds was born. My oldest ds is 6 and my youngest ds is 4. It’s taken me the best part of 6 years to save around £10,000. It’s been a struggle what with 2 maternity leaves, house improvements etc but I’ve done it and this money is literally in a pot named ‘Florida’. My absolute dream is to see the magic in my children’s faces in Disney world and for them to be young enough to believe it’s app reap etc. I went to Disney as an adult and cannot imagine how much more magical it must be to take your own children. I have had quotes from a couple of places and am about to book for May 2024.

anyway, dh isn’t bothered about going but will go along with it for my sake. Of course he wants DSS (10) to come along which is fine with me. However DSS mum won’t let him miss a week of school (we are tagging a week onto may half term and pulling our two ds out for a week). To add to this , I work in a school and only get one week at Easter and two in may, that’s why we’ve chosen may half term. August is far too hot and expensive.

She also thinks it’s too far for him to go without his mum. As a mother I can see her point of view. However she has admitted she will never in her wildest dreams afford to take DSS to Florida so this is his only chance but she is telling us to book it for august instead. Dh is telling me to go along with what she wants.

I am literally so so pissed off. This is my absolute dream come true and dh ex is trying to dictate to us. She had dictated SOOO many holiday plans over the years. Threatening to not hand over passport, saying he can come one minute then saying no the next, telling us which dates we can/can’t go and we have gone along with it to ensure he can come with us. I do this for dh sake mainly.
BUT this is different to me. I have saved so so hard to give my boys this experience while they’re young enough to believe it’s real :( they love Mickey Mouse and all things Disney. My heart breaks thinking about them missing out because of DSS mum :(

dh refused point blank to come without DSS. I argued and said it’s not fair our ds don’t get this holiday because of DSS mum. Dh said he doesn’t care. He wanted DSS to come with us so those two could go off alone and go on all the big rides etc :/ (common theme by the way dh and DSS going off alone every weekend)

so in an absolute rage I told dh I will either go alone with our two boys or my mum will come (I know she would) .

he’s telling me to go with my mum. what do I do?? I want dh to experience this with his kids. He won’t go without DSS. I don’t want to be controlled or dictated to by dh ex. DSS is like a moody teenager and has never appreciated any abroad holiday we’ve taken him on.

shall I just take my mum???

OP posts:
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roseheartfly · 19/03/2023 20:21

Amazing that you have sorted it OP.

You will have the best time!!!

MeridianB · 19/03/2023 20:54

Really great outcome, OP.

For future trips after Disney, please don’t end up as a single parent while DH sits in the hotel room with DSS. That’s crazy waste of money.

PeekAtYou · 19/03/2023 21:49

You must be relieved that things are sorted and your h has seen sense.

Hope you have a brilliant holiday and it's as great as you hoped.

StuartBroadshairband · 19/03/2023 22:03

thegoodpart0 · 18/03/2023 13:18

Well prepared to be flamed for this but here goes…

i have been saving up to take my children to Florida since my first ds was born. My oldest ds is 6 and my youngest ds is 4. It’s taken me the best part of 6 years to save around £10,000. It’s been a struggle what with 2 maternity leaves, house improvements etc but I’ve done it and this money is literally in a pot named ‘Florida’. My absolute dream is to see the magic in my children’s faces in Disney world and for them to be young enough to believe it’s app reap etc. I went to Disney as an adult and cannot imagine how much more magical it must be to take your own children. I have had quotes from a couple of places and am about to book for May 2024.

anyway, dh isn’t bothered about going but will go along with it for my sake. Of course he wants DSS (10) to come along which is fine with me. However DSS mum won’t let him miss a week of school (we are tagging a week onto may half term and pulling our two ds out for a week). To add to this , I work in a school and only get one week at Easter and two in may, that’s why we’ve chosen may half term. August is far too hot and expensive.

She also thinks it’s too far for him to go without his mum. As a mother I can see her point of view. However she has admitted she will never in her wildest dreams afford to take DSS to Florida so this is his only chance but she is telling us to book it for august instead. Dh is telling me to go along with what she wants.

I am literally so so pissed off. This is my absolute dream come true and dh ex is trying to dictate to us. She had dictated SOOO many holiday plans over the years. Threatening to not hand over passport, saying he can come one minute then saying no the next, telling us which dates we can/can’t go and we have gone along with it to ensure he can come with us. I do this for dh sake mainly.
BUT this is different to me. I have saved so so hard to give my boys this experience while they’re young enough to believe it’s real :( they love Mickey Mouse and all things Disney. My heart breaks thinking about them missing out because of DSS mum :(

dh refused point blank to come without DSS. I argued and said it’s not fair our ds don’t get this holiday because of DSS mum. Dh said he doesn’t care. He wanted DSS to come with us so those two could go off alone and go on all the big rides etc :/ (common theme by the way dh and DSS going off alone every weekend)

so in an absolute rage I told dh I will either go alone with our two boys or my mum will come (I know she would) .

he’s telling me to go with my mum. what do I do?? I want dh to experience this with his kids. He won’t go without DSS. I don’t want to be controlled or dictated to by dh ex. DSS is like a moody teenager and has never appreciated any abroad holiday we’ve taken him on.

shall I just take my mum???

Not read past the first paragraph, but surely the post should say "Hunny" if you're gong to Disney.

VimFuego101 · 20/03/2023 00:39

I live in a fairly hot US state and would still find FL absolutely unbearable in August. Disney in Paris or California doesn't really compare to Florida. So all in all, you're doing the right thing. If she had agreed to let your DSS go, then you'd no doubt have to worry about her messing around in the run up to the trip and threatening to stop DSS from coming/ withholding his passport.

jemimapuddlepluck · 20/03/2023 20:13

thegoodpart0 · 19/03/2023 12:23

So me & dh are going to the virgin store after work tomorrow to book! My step dad is now coming too lol so we are in an even number.
i keep checking the Florida dibb forum and am now following Tim Tracker on YouTube haha!
I’m so so so excited for my kids ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

So... did you book OP?

thegoodpart0 · 20/03/2023 21:45

@jemimapuddlepluck yes we did! Booked directly with Disney in the end as it worked out quite a bit cheaper than what virgin quoted!
we are staying at Port Orleans french quarter 😃

OP posts:
jemimapuddlepluck · 20/03/2023 23:24

So happy for you! Also slightly jealous 😁 I hope you all have an amazing time and make some beautiful memories.

Teatime55 · 21/03/2023 08:14

Good news. I nearly told you to book direct as they are basically a travel company, you’d pay virgin for nothing!

Bamboux · 21/03/2023 09:05

thegoodpart0 · 20/03/2023 21:45

@jemimapuddlepluck yes we did! Booked directly with Disney in the end as it worked out quite a bit cheaper than what virgin quoted!
we are staying at Port Orleans french quarter 😃

I'm a bit confused. Who did you book for in the end?

FUSoftPlay · 21/03/2023 09:12

Great news OP!

I went to both the Disney Land in California and Disney World in Florida. Over 20 years ago but still stands out as being the most amazing holidays. I plan to take my two when they’re old enough to appreciate it.

thegoodpart0 · 21/03/2023 10:44

@Bamboux me, dh, our two ds, my mum and stepdad

OP posts:
Bamboux · 21/03/2023 10:51

thegoodpart0 · 21/03/2023 10:44

@Bamboux me, dh, our two ds, my mum and stepdad

Wow.

Well, well done on getting exactly what you wanted.

BreviloquentBastard · 21/03/2023 11:37

I hope you all have an amazing time op, glad it's worked out as well as it has!

SemperIdem · 21/03/2023 12:41

Excellent outcome op!

You’ll have an amazing time!

My parents took my sibling and I to Disney a few times as children. I was 11 the first time and my sibling 4, we went in August. The heat was a shock to the system! Going out of season, especially as your boys are younger is a wise move. I remember my sibling struggling with the heat.

funinthesun19 · 21/03/2023 12:50

Wow.

Well, well done on getting exactly what you wanted.

What OP wanted was for them all to go in May, DSS included. She had nothing against DSS coming, that was his mum! OP was against August.

smellyflowers · 21/03/2023 12:52

Bamboux · 21/03/2023 10:51

Wow.

Well, well done on getting exactly what you wanted.

Yes well done for standing firm OP. DSC has to miss out due to their mum being a pain in the bum

jemimapuddlepluck · 21/03/2023 13:05

Bamboux · 21/03/2023 10:51

Wow.

Well, well done on getting exactly what you wanted.

Yes agree Bamboux. Well bloody done for going ahead OP. Hopefully this might teach DSS mum a valuable lesson. Do not cave to any shit she throws your way, she doesn't get to dictate any part of yours and your children's lives. I wish more stepmothers would do this instead of letting their own kids go without. DSS was invited, mum tried taking control. Nope, no time for games.

Dressinggownday · 21/03/2023 14:37

Is there any chance that you can still add DSS to the group if his mum now changes her mind? Or is it more difficult now it's booked?

SquidwardBound · 21/03/2023 14:43

Dressinggownday · 21/03/2023 14:37

Is there any chance that you can still add DSS to the group if his mum now changes her mind? Or is it more difficult now it's booked?

Let’s face it, she wouldn’t say so now. It’ll be a last minute guilt trip to make sure it costs as much as possible.

hourbyhour101 · 21/03/2023 14:45

Wow op books this holiday and people are already making bitchy comments.

DSC isn't coming because his mums not allowing it.

Not because it's what op wanted 🙄 she just didn't want to base her dream holiday based around the ex wife. And since she's paying. That's completely fine.

SquidwardBound · 21/03/2023 14:54

Yes @hourbyhour101. I’m these situations, you do have to just decide that you’re going to do the things that matter to you with your children.

Otherwise you’re children live lives curtailed by their half sibling’s mother’s whims and wants.

lunar1 · 21/03/2023 14:59

Your husband seems to want everything his way, but without doing the work himself. If he really wanted his eldest there he could have tried for a specific order. He's let his son down by just agreeing to everything his ex says.

I would have a plan in mind in case you get there and he starts behaving live a spoilt brat, he's going to sulk, I think booking your DH to come is going to be a poison chalice.

funinthesun19 · 21/03/2023 15:05

Dressinggownday · 21/03/2023 14:37

Is there any chance that you can still add DSS to the group if his mum now changes her mind? Or is it more difficult now it's booked?

I’d be very sceptical if I was OP and the ex suddenly said DSS can go. “How can I waste OP’s money? Tell her he can go and then not let him.” springs to mind.

Dressinggownday · 21/03/2023 15:17

funinthesun19 · 21/03/2023 15:05

I’d be very sceptical if I was OP and the ex suddenly said DSS can go. “How can I waste OP’s money? Tell her he can go and then not let him.” springs to mind.

Would SS's mother really do that to her child though? One would hope not.

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