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Disney world dilemma with dsc!!

359 replies

thegoodpart0 · 18/03/2023 13:18

Well prepared to be flamed for this but here goes…

i have been saving up to take my children to Florida since my first ds was born. My oldest ds is 6 and my youngest ds is 4. It’s taken me the best part of 6 years to save around £10,000. It’s been a struggle what with 2 maternity leaves, house improvements etc but I’ve done it and this money is literally in a pot named ‘Florida’. My absolute dream is to see the magic in my children’s faces in Disney world and for them to be young enough to believe it’s app reap etc. I went to Disney as an adult and cannot imagine how much more magical it must be to take your own children. I have had quotes from a couple of places and am about to book for May 2024.

anyway, dh isn’t bothered about going but will go along with it for my sake. Of course he wants DSS (10) to come along which is fine with me. However DSS mum won’t let him miss a week of school (we are tagging a week onto may half term and pulling our two ds out for a week). To add to this , I work in a school and only get one week at Easter and two in may, that’s why we’ve chosen may half term. August is far too hot and expensive.

She also thinks it’s too far for him to go without his mum. As a mother I can see her point of view. However she has admitted she will never in her wildest dreams afford to take DSS to Florida so this is his only chance but she is telling us to book it for august instead. Dh is telling me to go along with what she wants.

I am literally so so pissed off. This is my absolute dream come true and dh ex is trying to dictate to us. She had dictated SOOO many holiday plans over the years. Threatening to not hand over passport, saying he can come one minute then saying no the next, telling us which dates we can/can’t go and we have gone along with it to ensure he can come with us. I do this for dh sake mainly.
BUT this is different to me. I have saved so so hard to give my boys this experience while they’re young enough to believe it’s real :( they love Mickey Mouse and all things Disney. My heart breaks thinking about them missing out because of DSS mum :(

dh refused point blank to come without DSS. I argued and said it’s not fair our ds don’t get this holiday because of DSS mum. Dh said he doesn’t care. He wanted DSS to come with us so those two could go off alone and go on all the big rides etc :/ (common theme by the way dh and DSS going off alone every weekend)

so in an absolute rage I told dh I will either go alone with our two boys or my mum will come (I know she would) .

he’s telling me to go with my mum. what do I do?? I want dh to experience this with his kids. He won’t go without DSS. I don’t want to be controlled or dictated to by dh ex. DSS is like a moody teenager and has never appreciated any abroad holiday we’ve taken him on.

shall I just take my mum???

OP posts:
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KeeperSweeper · 19/03/2023 10:59

jemimapuddlepluck · 19/03/2023 08:35

No. The OP has saved for this holiday and no way should she pay for her DH and DSS to dissappear off to Universal Studios because DSS says so. She wants to take her children for 2 weeks, it is up to her DH whether he joins them or not. Her children should never have to compromise because THEY will end up resentful. Or is that just a problem if its step children?

Yep!

Teatime55 · 19/03/2023 11:01

If you are paying to go to DW I assume OP is staying at DW (where you usually get 14 days tickets for the price of 7).
Paying for transport to Universal and tickets there is another added cost, like hundreds of pounds.
Shes offering to pay for a holiday to one specific place.

It sounds like SM doesn’t want him to go anyway no matter how you package it up.

Dressinggownday · 19/03/2023 11:01

Well, DSS's mum sounds like a delight!

I would keep trying though, as frustrating as it is, for the sake of that 10 year old child and also your DH. He is angry with his ex now, but he will be upset his eldest isn’t there and the child will feel left out (not your fault I know, but he won't see it like that with his mum telling him poisonous things.) I would maybe try to include a trip to Universal, could your DH chip in at this stage? It's so hard and so frustrating though.

funinthesun19 · 19/03/2023 11:02

KeeperSweeper · 19/03/2023 10:50

What is the appropriate response when someone offers something like this to your child? The response is 'THANK YOU'!

Oh but we all know that the ex wife should never have to thank the stepmum for anything. 🙄

endoftheworldniteclub · 19/03/2023 11:12

Dressinggownday · 19/03/2023 11:01

Well, DSS's mum sounds like a delight!

I would keep trying though, as frustrating as it is, for the sake of that 10 year old child and also your DH. He is angry with his ex now, but he will be upset his eldest isn’t there and the child will feel left out (not your fault I know, but he won't see it like that with his mum telling him poisonous things.) I would maybe try to include a trip to Universal, could your DH chip in at this stage? It's so hard and so frustrating though.

It’s really expensive to do both Disney and Universal. We’ve done it a couple of times but it does cost an absolute fortune even if you just go to Universal for the day.

endoftheworldniteclub · 19/03/2023 11:15

If it’s DW op has saved for, it would be much nicer to use that money for merch or food in the parks, as there are many things to try but it all cost a fortune..even a balloon or Mickey pretzel.. °o°

Kune · 19/03/2023 12:19

I would actually respond that her son is being offered 2 weeks in DW and the only reason he isn't coming is her! And then I'd leave it completely. But gently here OP is your DH at least paying his own way? Or are you paying for him too? Go enjoy your trip with your boys and your mum.

thegoodpart0 · 19/03/2023 12:23

So me & dh are going to the virgin store after work tomorrow to book! My step dad is now coming too lol so we are in an even number.
i keep checking the Florida dibb forum and am now following Tim Tracker on YouTube haha!
I’m so so so excited for my kids ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

OP posts:
thegoodpart0 · 19/03/2023 12:25

originally I was going to pay for him, but he is now paying for himself, and I am paying for my mum instead. She does everything for my children so I owe it to her. My step dad will pay for himself and everyone will bring their own spends

OP posts:
jemimapuddlepluck · 19/03/2023 12:31

thegoodpart0 · 19/03/2023 12:23

So me & dh are going to the virgin store after work tomorrow to book! My step dad is now coming too lol so we are in an even number.
i keep checking the Florida dibb forum and am now following Tim Tracker on YouTube haha!
I’m so so so excited for my kids ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Make sure YOU are the lead passenger.

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 19/03/2023 12:38

Feel no guilt op. When I was a sm his ex kicked off my dm paid for us a cheap caravan holiday.. Not a week end we should have had dsd.. We offered to add dsd to the booking and pay for her but apparently it wasn't fair dsd had a holiday without her dm being there to see!. Can't win op. Enjoy your trip.

thegoodpart0 · 19/03/2023 12:43

jemimapuddlepluck · 19/03/2023 12:31

Make sure YOU are the lead passenger.

Absolutely! ❤️

OP posts:
aSofaNearYou · 19/03/2023 12:53

Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 19/03/2023 12:38

Feel no guilt op. When I was a sm his ex kicked off my dm paid for us a cheap caravan holiday.. Not a week end we should have had dsd.. We offered to add dsd to the booking and pay for her but apparently it wasn't fair dsd had a holiday without her dm being there to see!. Can't win op. Enjoy your trip.

What did you expect, you to never go on holiday??

burnoutbabe · 19/03/2023 13:02

Teatime55 · 19/03/2023 11:01

If you are paying to go to DW I assume OP is staying at DW (where you usually get 14 days tickets for the price of 7).
Paying for transport to Universal and tickets there is another added cost, like hundreds of pounds.
Shes offering to pay for a holiday to one specific place.

It sounds like SM doesn’t want him to go anyway no matter how you package it up.

I wasn't sure they are staying on site -could've staying on I drive or in a villa (as easier with larger group) and therefore 20 mins to either Disney or universal.

Then you get tickets separately- no Disney for the dss/ dad or just 2 day ticket. Only universal tickets for 2.

Plenty of families with mixed ages would visit different parks to keep all happy.

burnoutbabe · 19/03/2023 13:04

thegoodpart0 · 19/03/2023 12:23

So me & dh are going to the virgin store after work tomorrow to book! My step dad is now coming too lol so we are in an even number.
i keep checking the Florida dibb forum and am now following Tim Tracker on YouTube haha!
I’m so so so excited for my kids ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Try mammoth club as well on YouTube.

whumpthereitis · 19/03/2023 13:21

burnoutbabe · 19/03/2023 13:02

I wasn't sure they are staying on site -could've staying on I drive or in a villa (as easier with larger group) and therefore 20 mins to either Disney or universal.

Then you get tickets separately- no Disney for the dss/ dad or just 2 day ticket. Only universal tickets for 2.

Plenty of families with mixed ages would visit different parks to keep all happy.

And plenty of families plan a holiday in one place and stay in that one place 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is a dream holiday for OP, one she has specifically planned and saved for, for years. She was already generous in offering to pay for her DSS, she isn’t required to compromise her dream.

vivainsomnia · 19/03/2023 13:31

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jemimapuddlepluck · 19/03/2023 13:47

thegoodpart0 · 19/03/2023 12:43

Absolutely! ❤️

Have a great time OP! it is crap that DSS's mum is trying to exert her control over your holiday but it's important you make a stand. You have offered a compromise, your DH and DSS going for just a week but if this is the hill she wants to die on thats her choice.

Teatime55 · 19/03/2023 14:14

I’ve been to DW with a 9 year old boy and he had a great time btw. There are numerous different parks and 2 water parks, it’s not all princesses. It’s designed to appeal to all ages and sexes. There’s big rides and things there too.

@vivainsomnia Flights back tend to be night flights. So if you flew on a Saturday, you would need to fly back on the next Saturday so not to miss school on the Monday (if DSS mum doesn’t want him missing school). Which would actually mean only 6 full park days. When you’ve saved for years, it’s a waste.

hourbyhour101 · 19/03/2023 14:17

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Hold on.

Mum is the reason DsS is missing out.

Most people when their child is offered a all expenses paid for holiday, usually say thank you.

Not try to dictate the length, time of when it happens and or where people go on holiday. Because when you act unreasonably people people have a natural habit of telling you to bugger off and rightly so.

daimtheman · 19/03/2023 15:48

I don't think you're wrong for going without your stepson or for not going when the mum asked in August.

However, it does feel a bit shitty that he is missing out because you're willing to take your children out of school and his mum isn't.

I also don't think this is an educational, enriching holiday as the OP is claiming. It's Disney ffs, not trekking in Peru. 😄

endoftheworldniteclub · 19/03/2023 16:00

I also don't think this is an educational, enriching holiday as the OP is claiming. It's Disney ffs, not trekking in Peru.

One of my children got higher grades once when she was younger, because of things she learnt on Spaceship Earth. 😂 She still knows it by heart. Thank the Phoenicians.

Kune · 19/03/2023 16:46

There's no good reason a 10 year old can't miss a week of school. She's being ridiculous and obstructive. Sod her.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 19/03/2023 18:25

Well done OP for sorting it out.
Couldn't believe she said she insists you have to go to Universal.
Her text clearly demonstrated that she clearly will put a spanner in the works at any opportunity - at her poor DC's expense. It's good your DH can see it clearly. I bet DSS would have enjoyed the Disney thing if he'd been allowed to go.

roseheartfly · 19/03/2023 20:20

@lookluv always so vile.

Are you even a step mum or do you just trawl this forum to be a horrible person?

You need to get over the hurt and stop being such a bitter lemon.

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