How to do greet your DSC?

[atteatimeeverybodyagrees]

DH has his DSC every other week and part of the school holidays. I like them, we get on well. However DH has picked me up on my greeting them. Aparantly I don't seem very excited when they are here. I just say hi hello, etc how are you? When I next see them. I don't come rushing down the stairs squealing in delight. AIBU to just treat them like anyone else coming and going from the house? They don't say HELLOO up the stairs or whatever when they are here.

Exactly the same as you. What does he want you to do, roll out the red carpet? I don't rush down the stairs or fawn over my own kids either.

Yeah I dunno! Like I should drop what I'm doing and go say hello! I think he doesn't get that he's going to be way more excited to see his own kids than I am.

Exactly the same as you

I think the point here is not how you greet them, but why he is expecting you to perform 'excited to see them' to match his level of enthusiasm

Worth exploring why he would want you to do that.

I greet SDC like you do.

My DH complains about it too. He wants him to be “part of the family” but also wants a fan fare. They can’t make up their minds, whatever I do is wrong so i just please myself!

If I’m nearby when they arrive we hug, if I’m cleaning the bathroom or something I yell a hi down the stairs, they reply, then I hug them when I come down.

No red carpets here, they’re not guests. They’re family and I’m happy to see them.

Excellent thank you all @PeppermintChoc I think that's it they are both guests and bit guests.

*not

What would he like you to do? Perform a tap dance?

I think he wants me to stop what I'm doing and come to the door to great them like I would other guests

I wouldn’t expect you to be “rushing down the stairs squealing in delight” but yes I think you should stop what you’re doing to go and say hello. It wouldn’t occur to me not to in all honesty although maybe the norms in our house are different as when my DC come home or my DH comes home I stick my head out of the room I’m in to say hello in person at a minimum

It would depend on the age of the children and how long I had been in their lives.

I can't imagine just carrying on cleaning the bathroom or whatever if someone comes to my home ... whether it's my DH, an unexpected guest, family member or whoever. Surely it's common courtesy to 'greet' someone .. maybe I am old fashioned but I always stop what I am doing to say 'hello' when my DH or DS comes in.

My dsd lives a long distance away; we have her for all half terms and half of summer. So when she arrives I give her a big hug and say hello!

If that’s directed at me, if I’ve got my hand down the loo or I’m in the kitchen chopping an onion and I’ll be done in a couple of minutes I say a hello through the door to anyone who enters my home rather than stop and start again.

I’m not neglecting my DSC by doing anything different to them compared with DD, DH or my mum. They’re not guests with an official arrival time I’m planning for and I’ll greet/hug/kiss them when I’m done. If I’m sitting on the sofa when they arrive I’ll get up and greet them straight away. Maybe we’re all terribly informal…

How you greet someone is indicative of your true feelings. You prefer cleaning bathrooms.
By your actions you have told your preference.
To the door, greet them, you haven't seen them for 12 days..
I get warm "hey how are you " after a Christmas break!!! And that's work.
This is family. It should get the best, not second serving with added begrudging.

Yes! Exactly that's it. They can yell Hellooo if they want (they don't) and I can say it back through the door. But we just don't. They know as soon as I'm finished doing whatever and see them next (never long) I'll be in to ask how they've been etc

And I don't prefer cleaning bathrooms. I'm usually doing something like putting the washing away (often their washing I might add) or getting the toddler ready for bed

I hug and kiss mine. They are 24 and 16. We are huggers and kissers though

Their dad doesn't lol

So tell him "they're not guests, they're family. I'm treating them like anyone else would greet their kids when they get home"

Yes I've only hugged one of my DSC once when they were really scared when they were younger. They don't really do hugs.

Jesus does he want a parade for their arrival??? Hi how have you been any news? Is fine when you happen to pass them if I'm not currently in the same room I won't rush and stop what I'm doing to go to the hall to say hi, I'll pop in as soon as I've finished and check in

Who likes cleaning bathrooms?! But good to know I’m a grudging and unfriendly step mum, mum and wife 😂

Someone should tell my family who appear to think I’m quite touchy feely, loving and affectionate…

That's fair IMO. Nothing like "squealing in delight"