How to do greet your DSC?

[atteatimeeverybodyagrees]

DH has his DSC every other week and part of the school holidays. I like them, we get on well. However DH has picked me up on my greeting them. Aparantly I don't seem very excited when they are here. I just say hi hello, etc how are you? When I next see them. I don't come rushing down the stairs squealing in delight. AIBU to just treat them like anyone else coming and going from the house? They don't say HELLOO up the stairs or whatever when they are here.

Oh stop!

I would throw myself off a cliff for my kids (not sure why I’d need to?) but I would. I’d literally lay down and die for them.

But if I’ve got rubber gloves on and I’m scrubbing the bathroom when DH brings them in from nursery I don’t throw everything done and run to see them! I call down Hi mummy’s cleaning the loo, be down in a bit. Same if I’m three loads deep on sorting washing etc.

Everyone has differences, not rushing down to see someone the minute they walk in the house doesn’t reflect anything. Maybe if you haven’t seen the person in 17 years! But not kids you see all the time.

He rushes to the door all excited which is fine. They are his kids. But I'm not going to do the same.

How does he greet your toddler when he gets home?

You do what you want. I hug and kiss all family that comes to mine.

I don't my mum and dad because I am there everyday, I do kiss my mum goodbye though everyday when I leave but not my dad.

My mum is a hugger and kisser but my dad isn't.
Weirdly my mum doesn't hug us if we are upset she offers practical advice.

I am the same. Try and sort out the issue then offer the hugs etc. it should be the other way round. It works for us though. We are both weird I guess

DH always go to collect mine so he’s already hugged them and caught up with them by the time they’re here. I finish scrubbing the bog over rushing to throw my loving wifely arms around him but I’ll apologise immediately and do better from now on.

What an odd question. For me it’s entirely normal that I’ll come to greet DSD and say hello. I want her to know I’m happy she’s here. Changeover day can be a bit tough and she’s not always instantly all hugs and kisses. That’s fine. Whatever her mood, we do whatever we can to make DSD feel welcome, at home and that life is normal. I can’t imagine prioritising having my hand down the toilet at that moment.

YABU op. You knew what you were getting into.
You should wake up at 5am on the day they are arriving so you can remove the black mourning robes you wear in their absence and spend all day putting on the ball gown and full make up for their grand arrival. You need to ensure that the trumpeters have perfected the fanfare and the red carpet is spotless.

I'm not prioritising having my hand down the toilet. Why is everyone obsessed with the toilet.

I'm usually putting washing away or getting DC ready for bed.

I thought putting a fresh towel on their bed would be sufficient but I see I am not doing enough.

Plus if I made a massive fuss over the DSC and tried to kiss them they'd both probably look at me like I'd grown another head

You mean you haven't got freshly baked cookies, already prepared three or four separate meal choices, put your phone and plans on mute and aren't waiting on your knees on the floor outside the front door in preparation to kiss their feet. Gosh your an evil stepmother I think you should divorce

When your own dc leave to go to college can you imagine you will call to them down the stairs when they arrive home for the weekend. You will definitely go towards the door to greet them. Why? Because you will be excited to see them. Think it's the same with dsc. I think your dh might have a point.

Do the people having a pop at OP have cleaners?

I think that seems fair. It’s their home but they’re not with you all the time so I would go and see them when they first arrive.

So are they guests or not?

I think if you do the whole greeting them at the door you’re treating them like guests, this is their home too, albeit part time. Why do they need to be greeted? A ‘hello’ is enough. My stepkids just let themselves in and disappear upstairs to find their step siblings.

Dunno. When I see my nieces or nephews (once a week) I'm enthusiastic and give them a hug and ask how their weeks been, always in a higher pitched excited tone.

I probably would go and say hello. I do that if anyone comes to my house, like if DH picks the kids up from somewhere and they come in, if mil has just come in etc, I would always go and say hi or whatever. I don’t think it’s like he’s expecting you to ‘squeal in delight’ or put on ball gown on or anything.

I used to actually go and greet them. I'd hug them like any other member of the family coming into the house. If I was genuinely busy I'd call hello and then go and find them when I'd finished.
No performance or feigned excitement, just the sort of family greeting that was normal.

They’re not guests, it’s their home, but not all the time. If my kids are away for a couple of days or more, with school, holidays, visiting friends, I go to them when they get home to welcome them.

A while ago there was a thread where a step mother was upset because her teenage step child didn't acknowledge her. This child completely blanked the step mother when she spoke to them. Some posters were insisting that the step mother was unreasonable to be upset by this because she and the step child were nothing to each other and she was just a random woman. I wonder if any of them same posters are now chastising the op for not immediately running up to the door to greet them if she's busy.

He hasn't asked you to.

What? Isn't the point of this thread that he called the op for not doing this?

No. "I think he wants me to stop what I'm doing and come to the door to great them like I would other guests"

That doesn't mean squealing with delight. Just basic politeness.

They are my child. It is different and you know it.