Inheritance

[BananaFluff]

I have inherited some money - not loads. But I want to save some of it to take my shared DC away on holiday with DH when they are a bit older. The once in a lifetime kind of holiday, maybe Disneyland not decided yet will see what they like when they are older. I don't want to pay for my DSC and I don't want them coming tbh. It would change the vibe DC will be in primary school and they'll be much older teens possibly even in 6th form. Anyway. I mentioned to DH this was my plan and he was like oh can I bring DSC if they want to come and offered to pay. So I have begrudgingly said well start saving and we'll see when the time comes if they want to come but I want it to be the holiday I choose because it's my relatives money I'm spending and your kids are tagging along. So far so good but it got me thinking, he should be paying for half of shared DC too shouldn't he? I'm a bit miffed he didnt even think about that.

@DubiousGiraffe well actually I was replying to someone (now deleted for breaking MN rules for being a complete arse) that said when you become a SP, you become a parent to that child. My comment stands.

*A step parent is joining an existing family by choice therefore needs to prioritise the wellbeing of the children in that family as well as any subsequent ones they may have (and should also consider the impact on the existing child before having more).

Again, it they do not wish to do so, they can find a partner without children instead of moaning about these completely obvious responsibilities that come with starting a relationship with someone who has children already.*

What I don't understand is the relevance this has to this thread. I could see why it was relevant if the step parent was proposing asking their DP to stop seeing their DC. But here?

I chose to have my two children knowing that , should the situation arise, I wouldn't pay out of my own money for DSC to go on holiday. Nothing in the world will convince me that means I shouldn't have had them. People do realise parents can arrange their finances as they choose, and it need not be something their DC are even aware of, right? I certainly never asked any questions about what money my parents were paying for holidays out of growing up.

As a side note, I always raise an eyebrow when posters insist step parents are "joining a family". My DP and DSS are family to one another, but they nobody involved would define them as "a family". This is really down to individual perception.

Wow people are out to get you on this aren't they. I think its really quite simple. You have 1 child, he has 3. (Not 4 in total obviously, the one you have, you share with him).

You pay for one child. He pays for three. He made the choice of having 3 children. Not you.

You sound so selfish honestly don't get with a man with DC if you carry on like this.

You should be inviting them not excluding them.

Maybe your DH excludes himself and you with alone with your DC and he will go with his DC away.
If I was your DH would say if they not being included I won't go won't enjoy it without them.

@Quiegal You're literally just going around on SP threads saying everyone is selfish 😂

Actually can't believe I am about to say this some of you are nice.

It really does matter though let the DH decide soon they seem through the selfishness of some here.

So many people some of you all out so I know it's not just me. So it's good glad you find my responses amusing 😂

@Quiegal I'm really sorry but I can't make head nor tail of what you just put ?

A lot of people have been called out so glad you find not considering your DH children amusing and not liking being called out.

So many have said the same.

As I said some of your SM are okay. Who actually don't come across as being very selfish.
But like I said you can find it amusing when you left single mothers with the DC you have with this men when they find out what sort of women they are married too.

Truth so does hurt hahahah

Truth so does hurt hahahah

As a ex wife and someone who has a Dd as a sm. If your on my sides - I want to switch sides because your making no sense.

It's only a insult or enraging to someone if they can actually understand what your waffling on about. Lucky I have a teen in the house because I can just about make out your trying to be insulting but honestly it's just made me smile.

Don't give up your day job 😉

Side** ffs

But like I said you can find it amusing when you left single mothers with the DC you have with this men when they find out what sort of women they are married too.

I too struggled to make sense of your post, but this is not the threat you think it is. My DP knows who he is with and is perfectly comfortable with it. I could just as easily say these men will be left single dads when their partners realise how oversensitive and entitled they are when it comes to their kids.