Nativity?

[Storyboo]

Hi, I’m new here so please be gentle!

I’ve been with my DP for just over a year, we’ve lived together for a month. His little one is 4. He got the nursery newsletter with Christmas event dates and added to our calendar the nativity date and has asked me to book time off work.

I think it’s great, and I would love to go, but things haven’t been great with his ex who is volatile and isn’t over their split, and didn’t take kindly to us being together at first but seems to have mellowed. (I’m not the OW- there wasn’t anyone else involved in the split).

What would you do? Do I go to the nativity which would likely flare arguments? I would love to see him in the nativity and it would be great to be there with the extended family, his granny and grandpa will be there too.

I know we’re not married and I’m not officially a step parent- I just thought this would be the better thread for this question.

Don't go OP and I'm not saying that because of the usual MN 'know your place' crap, I'm saying it for your own sake. It's a viper's nest and why would you want to watch someone else's child in a nativity? It won't be a nice experience for you, take it from someone who knows.

How sad for the kid that their parents can't even be in the same room

not really. If separated couples have this level of understanding and avoid any potential public spats, that is ultimately better for the child than stress, tension and who k own what else.

I wouldn't go unless specifically asked by the mum or child.
I wouldn't want to cause any drama for a special day for the child. That being said - my SC mum is completely vile so that's why I keep my distance 😂

This in spades.
Stay well away if his mother will be there.

It seems incredibly insensitive to do this, No decent man I know of would dream of asking someone so new to the scene to a 4 yr old’s Nativity play.
I agree, he’s doing it to likely be a dick.

The mother is likely “ Not over the split” as she is having to cope with her partner and father of her child leaving, and the child being incredibly upset, still.

For me it's entirely about the child

sometimes the ability to ‘read the room’ is entirely about the child. Because no child wants their parents to publically have a bust up, or to have to listen to upset and hurt by one or more of the adults in their life caused by another adult in their life, or anything else which involves their parents in even a mildly negative way. Sometimes, regardless of what the child may say they want, the best course of action is for a step parent to stay away.

Christ - this thread made a revival again.

I wouldn't go tbh but that's because these things are shit boring even if it's your child up there.

That said I do wonder how many step parents are chiming in on here and how many mums ?

Mum tbh in the nicest sense is irrelevant (I say this as a mum with a Dc who has a sm). I wouldn't give a toss if my ex brought his partner to a navity for my Dc.
I wouldn't have to button anything or "feel on the outside" 😵‍💫 why would I ? He's a ex right... and I'm not here for him 🤷🏼‍♀️

It can only get your back up if you have emotions for your ex (abuse aside - because that's a different kettle of fish)

OP - your DP is tone deaf to the subtleties of co parenting. If she is not over the split - a year is not long when you have a child and still have to see the EX - then he is an a hole for asking you to go and putting you either in the position for his EX to be upset or for you sensibly declining and upsetting him.

Good job your EQ is higher than his.