Is this cheeky or standard?

[wibblewobblewooo]

Hi, I have name changed as I've but moaned about this in real life and don't want it linked to my mumsnet moaning!

DSC's mum has asked if she can drop them off at 8:00pm tomorrow instead of 4pm as previously agreed, but she is still waning DH to give them their dinner. Surely whoever they are with at dinner time feeds them? They'll be so hungry or pester mum for a snack so not be hungry.

What’s the reason she’s dropping them off late? Are they going to an event or something?

Can't they just have a sandwich when they arrive?

So much missing info!

does she do this frequently?
how old is the child?
is the child’s father, your partner happy to feed her after 8?
why is she asking? Ie a family birthday party

I suspect fact you haven’t included these details means a) not a frequent thing b) your partner fine to sort dinner post 8 c) the ex is asking for a bona fide reason

but of course now they’ll be a drip feed! 😂

What's the issue with giving your step kids dinner? Seriously you are making an unnecessary problem.

And moaning to others.

FFS

Should be easy enough for your DH to plan on doing something like pasta with pesto, frozen pizza, sandwiches i.e quick to prepare meals if they are hungry, but no food wasted if they're not hungry because they've had a snack.

Presumably they've got plans until later than 4?

Just get DH to make them something light if you think they won't be hungry. What a total non issue.

Just make sth that can be reheated in the microwave on arrival?

Frozen pizza, salad and garlic bread. 12 minutes 😊

What's the problem?

I mean it's no problem and like PP said DH will just whack a pizza on. Just thought it was a bit odd to say you want to bring the kids later but not feed them at dinner time. Willing to stand corrected.

@Endlesslypatient82 a) No not frequent, b) of course we're fine the kids will be hungry though? c) didn't think reason was relevant as I don't care if she wants to drop them off late. My only concern is that it seems odd not to feed the kids. There is no reason why she can't, other than "as it's your night".

No problem and yet you’ve been moaning about it and started a thread on it!

And trust the mother FGS that she will give her children a snack if they’re hungry 🙄

does she do this frequently? no
how old is the child? two, 9 and 13
is the child’s father, your partner happy to feed her after 8? of course he is he's not going to let them starve if they haven't eaten since lunch is he. What kind of barbaric people do you think we are?
why is she asking? Ie a family birthday party nothing like that, just needs to drop something off on the way after 7.

She'll be sat at home at 6 not feeding them dinner for no reason other than. It's not her turn .

But thank you I shall accept this is normal behaviour, this is why I asked so genuinely thank you.

Dont you know mumsnet hates stepmums?if the thread was 'giving my kids a sandwich for dinner at 8pm' they'd crucify you! OFC its cheeky and late for a dinner! Regardless of their plans they should factor in food and dinnertime!

One other and now you all here yes

I don't think the issue here is the feeding the kids, it's the mothers attitude that it's dad's 'turn' to feed them. It's like she's having a bit of unnecessary drama to still show she has a bit of control over him. That's how I read it and imagine it's just another thing in a long line, I would say no one is right or wrong though. Just feed the kids of they arrive hungry, if they have been fed then fine. Don't rise to the drama if that's what she's trying to create, not worth it and the kids will be affected by it all. From a fellow stepmum!

OP
This ISN’T normal!!!
Other posters are bonkers

@Cantgetausername87

That is what I thought, I don't think she'd be happy if it was the other way around tbh. And I'd insist they were fed at dinner time. I just feel bad for the kids but I realise now I may be over precious around dinner times.

Nobody's bonkers because nobody's said it's normal.

It's just a strange thing to get worked up over.

But also really strange of a parent not to feed her children because it's someone else's 'turn'.

OP could their dad not just pick them up at their normal drop off time?

@WhyNott Oh no its not drama, DH just said yeah sure. We really 100% don't mind feeding the kids! We are just surprised she seems to!

OP could their dad not just pick them up at their normal drop off time? he could but mum is heading about half the way anyway and she often tries to wriggle out of doing either journey. If she's happy for them to eat when they get here so be it. What happens when they are with her is up to her.

It's just a strange thing to get worked up over. I'm not getting worked up. We just had a little moan about it. I worried the kids might be hungry. I don't understand it as my DC has to have dinner within like half an hour either side of 6 or they get really grumbly and hungry but they are much younger.

It's a bit crap that nobody cares enough about the kids having dinner at a suitable time to change their plans.

You must understand the last part of your post means you're the same as her?

She'll be sat at home at 6 not feeding them dinner for no reason other than. It's not her turn .

This is weird. So there’s no event or activity and she will be at home with them but wants to drop them later and won’t feed them when they usually eat dinner?