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Original poster

Is this cheeky or standard?

130 replies

wibblewobblewooo · 12/08/2022 18:55

Hi, I have name changed as I've but moaned about this in real life and don't want it linked to my mumsnet moaning!

DSC's mum has asked if she can drop them off at 8:00pm tomorrow instead of 4pm as previously agreed, but she is still waning DH to give them their dinner. Surely whoever they are with at dinner time feeds them? They'll be so hungry or pester mum for a snack so not be hungry.

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Original poster
wibblewobblewooo · 12/08/2022 22:03

Endlesslypatient82 · 12/08/2022 21:59

And unless there’s a drip feed coming….

would the 9 year old and 13 year old not be able to grab a packet of crisps or a slice of toast if peckish?

and do you get worried when then go to friends houses and they may not eat until 8pm?

  1. Why does everyone keep going on about drip feeds. You have all the required information. If there is something you think might be relevant then ask it, there might be something I haven't thought of. I didn't think I'd have to condense the whole entire story of our lives to ask if it's normal not to feed the kids.
  1. I don't know. Does mum have toast and crisps available?
  1. No because I didn't even know eating dinner at 8 was a thing. But now I'll tell them to grab a malt loaf and keep it in their bag in case dinner is late.
OP posts:
Endlesslypatient82 · 12/08/2022 22:06

No because I didn't even know eating dinner at 8 was a thing

No words!

Your mind has been blown by this thread OP!

Have you never had dinner out? Never gone around to friends for dinner?

never put 2 and 2 together that many people won’t get home from work until much later than 6?

Original poster
wibblewobblewooo · 12/08/2022 22:06

Endlesslypatient82 · 12/08/2022 22:02

So is it genuinely is a real surprise to you that one off eating at 8pm in the school holidays for a 9 year old and 13 year old (who will probably turn up having had some crisps / fruit / toast and ask that your DH holds fire on the pizza for an hour because they’re not really all that hungry 😂) is actually not something to be concerned about?

if you think the kids will get hungry and their mother will forbid them from actually anything at all ie a packet of crisps, then that is a different thread all together

Show quote history

Yes!! It genuinely is otherwise why would I be asking?! And it's two hours plus he won't start cooking until they arrive. Hopefully mum will give them a late lunch.

OP posts:
Original poster
wibblewobblewooo · 12/08/2022 22:07

Endlesslypatient82 · 12/08/2022 22:06

No because I didn't even know eating dinner at 8 was a thing

No words!

Your mind has been blown by this thread OP!

Have you never had dinner out? Never gone around to friends for dinner?

never put 2 and 2 together that many people won’t get home from work until much later than 6?

If I eat out we always eat at 7. 8 is too late for a massive dinner if you're going to sleep at 10.

OP posts:
Endlesslypatient82 · 12/08/2022 22:08

Does mum have toast and crisps available?

Well unless the kids have told you their mother never has any food in, I think fairly safe to presume a mother of a 13 and 9 year old will have something they can nibble on if they get peckish before they leave at 7

Original poster
wibblewobblewooo · 12/08/2022 22:10

Endlesslypatient82 · 12/08/2022 22:08

Does mum have toast and crisps available?

Well unless the kids have told you their mother never has any food in, I think fairly safe to presume a mother of a 13 and 9 year old will have something they can nibble on if they get peckish before they leave at 7

Then yes if there is food available then I presume their mum will let them snack unless she says they'll ruin their dinner.

OP posts:
Endlesslypatient82 · 12/08/2022 22:11

wibblewobblewooo · 12/08/2022 22:07

If I eat out we always eat at 7. 8 is too late for a massive dinner if you're going to sleep at 10.

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Oh op.do you look around the restaurant in wonderment at the the people arriving for their reservations at 8? 8.30?

how do you fare on holiday when you walk past the restaurants and people are ordering their starters at 9.30pm

How will you deal with fact that if your child is sporty they will often have clubs and fixtures that don’t finish until 6. Sometimes clubs not even starting until 6!

You’re in for some confusing and exciting times OP.

Be brave!

Endlesslypatient82 · 12/08/2022 22:12

wibblewobblewooo · 12/08/2022 22:10

Then yes if there is food available then I presume their mum will let them snack unless she says they'll ruin their dinner.

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All good then.

Phew

Endlesslypatient82 · 12/08/2022 22:13

I take it you and your dh are very much in jobs that “finish on the dot of 5pm”?

Cloverforever · 12/08/2022 22:14

wibblewobblewooo · 12/08/2022 22:07

If I eat out we always eat at 7. 8 is too late for a massive dinner if you're going to sleep at 10.

Show quote history

We normally eat at 8 or later, but then we don't go to bed at 10. That is really early to me.

You may find when your own kids get older that you need to be more flexible. They will have clubs, friends over etc, and not be ready to eat till later.

DuchessDarty · 12/08/2022 22:15

Well tonight at least you’re up past your 10pm bedtime OP!

Original poster
wibblewobblewooo · 12/08/2022 22:16

I assume they are having a late night or off out after. I don't tend to eat in fancy places so I'm guessing they are different. Do people take their kids out that late?

I don't go on holiday much. Last holiday I went on there was a football tournament on so I assumed people were watching that.

I'm sure I'll cope and adapt.. I've learnt how to cope so far. Don't you worry about me..

OP posts:
Original poster
wibblewobblewooo · 12/08/2022 22:17

DuchessDarty · 12/08/2022 22:15

Well tonight at least you’re up past your 10pm bedtime OP!

Too hot to sleep!

OP posts:
Original poster
wibblewobblewooo · 12/08/2022 22:18

Endlesslypatient82 · 12/08/2022 22:13

I take it you and your dh are very much in jobs that “finish on the dot of 5pm”?

Absolutely not.. if anything the opposite and that's probably why dinner time is always around the same time.

OP posts:
ZeroFuchsGiven · 12/08/2022 22:24

Im sorry but I am am going to be 'that person'.

Its school holidays, is she skint? Is your dh paying for his kids? And why is she bringing them to you? Why is your h not collecting?

Original poster
wibblewobblewooo · 12/08/2022 22:33

ZeroFuchsGiven · 12/08/2022 22:24

Im sorry but I am am going to be 'that person'.

Its school holidays, is she skint? Is your dh paying for his kids? And why is she bringing them to you? Why is your h not collecting?

Don't be sorry. This is what I meant earlier, I don't know what's relevant or not.

She shouldn't be skint. But you never know I guess. Yes my DH is paying her maintenance for the children. And why should my DH collect them? He's dropping them back at the end of the trip.

OP posts:
TryingToBeLogical · 12/08/2022 23:11

If you don’t know exactly why she’s not serving them dinner, you can’t really judge, can you?
In many families, eating dinner together is an important part of the day. If it’s your household’s turn for dinner, perhaps she thinks the kids (or you) would prefer to wait and have dinner together at your house?

8 PM as an occasional dinner time really isn’t that late. Especially if the kids are older and have a long activity commencing right after school so might not get home earlier. Or if a parent is involved in the transportation for said activity and dinner can’t be started until 7 due to other conflicting logistics.

Kids obviously need routine, but they should also be taught flexibility. If occasional
deviations from daily routine are viewed with anger and alarm, this isn’t really teaching them to be flexible. It’s teaching them to be anxious.

TryingToBeLogical · 12/08/2022 23:17

Just a warning. Eating at 8 PM could be an issue for you if you ever go to Spain on vacation. In some countries, the dinner hour is observed pretty late and restaurants may not even open until then.

Endlesslypatient82 · 13/08/2022 06:28

wibblewobblewooo · 12/08/2022 22:18

Absolutely not.. if anything the opposite and that's probably why dinner time is always around the same time.

Show quote history

And yet you still manage to always eat by 6?

Revisit this thread when your children are older and (hopefully) sporty and sociable.

Endlesslypatient82 · 13/08/2022 06:30

I don't go on holiday much. Last holiday I went on there was a football tournament on so I assumed people were watching that.

anyone else baffled by this??

OP, you thought the only reason people were eating later on holiday was because of a football tournament? Otherwise they all would have been eating at 6?

Original poster
wibblewobblewooo · 13/08/2022 07:12

@TryingToBeLogical Yes I realise this now and from this thread see it isn't as unusual as I had thought.

OP posts:
Original poster
wibblewobblewooo · 13/08/2022 07:16

Endlesslypatient82 · 13/08/2022 06:30

I don't go on holiday much. Last holiday I went on there was a football tournament on so I assumed people were watching that.

anyone else baffled by this??

OP, you thought the only reason people were eating later on holiday was because of a football tournament? Otherwise they all would have been eating at 6?

There was no sense of time at all most people were pissed and there were a lot of ladz very few people with children. I didn't enjoy that evening tbh.

Anyway thank you, I have what I need from this post, confirmation that this is a thing so I won't worry about it.

OP posts:
Original poster
wibblewobblewooo · 13/08/2022 07:18

Endlesslypatient82 · 13/08/2022 06:28

And yet you still manage to always eat by 6?

Revisit this thread when your children are older and (hopefully) sporty and sociable.

Show quote history

No..we manage to eat within about 30 mins of 6. We have a young DC, we keep some sort of routine. Down tools for dinner together and then if we need to work after dinner fine. But it's important for us to spend some time all together I'd we can.

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 13/08/2022 07:26

What time did you eat before DC? 6pm is very early to eat unless you have young children or have early start in the morning.

If you had an older teenager they would have at least one other meal before bedtime if you fed them at 6pm

srey · 13/08/2022 07:35

I am assuming your kids are very young.

It changed as they get bigger. At 9 and 13 they can feed themselves if they're hungry - pizza, beans on toast, bowl of cereal, a whole packet of chocolate chip cookies a mars bar and a multipack of crisps.

A strict 6pm eating schedule is much harder to maintain in the holidays with older kids who may sleep late (especially at 13) and have activities or be generally out and about.

It's also pretty warm, which can kill appetite.

I don't think this is a big deal.