Is this cheeky or standard?

[wibblewobblewooo]

Hi, I have name changed as I've but moaned about this in real life and don't want it linked to my mumsnet moaning!

DSC's mum has asked if she can drop them off at 8:00pm tomorrow instead of 4pm as previously agreed, but she is still waning DH to give them their dinner. Surely whoever they are with at dinner time feeds them? They'll be so hungry or pester mum for a snack so not be hungry.

I genuinely think she isn't going to feed them dinner and expects them to wait until they get to dad's. They won't starve there are no signs of neglect

Thank you! Yes it's petty

And you honestly don’t think the 13 and 9 yr old wouldn’t grab a packet of crisps or slice of toast if peckish?

Am only just about to feed the 13 yo here, he’s not been hungry because of the heat and because of holidays he’s sleeping in and eating meals late.

How am I being unreasonable here? What?

3x I have asked!

do you honestly not think a 13 and 9 year old wouldn’t grab some crisps, a banana or slice of toast of peckish before a one off later than usual dinner?

how far does she live from you?

It does seem very odd. Is she completely broke? Maybe she can't afford another 2 meals this week.

Could she not drop them first and sort what she needs to on the return journey. They won't eat too late then.

What? She has told DH to provide dinner as usual as she won't be as it's DH's turn. I don't know if she will cave tomorrow as I'm not a mind reader. I'm getting really rather confused as to what your point is?

Sorry I missed it. I do not know or even care if the kids have access to bananas or toast at their mums house. I just know that mum has told DH he has to do dinner.

But just because she’s not going to give them dinner, doesn’t mean she’s not going to feed them at all in the evening or let them have snacks.

We don’t know how often your DP has them. She could be providing most of the meals for them or at least done it every day this week. I can’t blame her for wanting a break from providing them with dinner on a Saturday night. She might be going out after. Maybe they asked to have it as their Dad’s as it’s his turn,

Ok good. All normal then. Thank you.

Of course it would be odd to refuse to feed your own children purely because it's not your turn. So odd in fact I feel like there must be a huge backstory that we're not being told.

I would find this bizarre. I would also say "either feed them at dinner time like a normal parent (probably not as rudely) or drop them at the usual time of 4pm so we can feed as usual".

Well this is what I thought. However this thread has shown me that perhaps I'm too strict with the 6 o'clock ish dinner time and as kids get older maybe 8 is fine.

Yeah, I think it’s weird. Even my ex would try and pass it off as ds not being hungry at dinner time or something.

How old are your kids?

This is a one off OP

so occasionally “it’s fine” for anything to go

This isn't about my kids is it!!!

Re something as trivial as dinner time

the children are 9 and 13

of they’re hungry they’ll get themselves a snack

it is not a frequent event

its the school holiday so they’re no doubt t eating breakfast and lunch later then normal and then probably an ice cream later afternoon.

and 8 really is not all that late at all.

so it is a non issue as far as I can see

YOU mentioned perhaps being too strict with your kids’ dinner time hence me asking their ages!!

you said that perhaps as kids get older 8pm is fine

(I would have thought that was plainly obvious that a 13 year old happy to eat later than a 3 year old)

I don't want advice on my kids dinner time though.

😂

i just couldn’t see how you could be surprised that as kids get older… eating a bit later (gasp 8pm in a heatwave in the school summer holidays!) was actually ok

And unless there’s a drip feed coming….

would the 9 year old and 13 year old not be able to grab a packet of crisps or a slice of toast if peckish?

and do you get worried when then go to friends houses and they may not eat until 8pm?

I never ate that late myself. Not until I was a pissed 20 year old when anything goes 🤣

So is it genuinely is a real surprise to you that one off eating at 8pm in the school holidays for a 9 year old and 13 year old (who will probably turn up having had some crisps / fruit / toast and ask that your DH holds fire on the pizza for an hour because they’re not really all that hungry 😂) is actually not something to be concerned about?

if you think the kids will get hungry and their mother will forbid them from actually anything at all ie a packet of crisps, then that is a different thread all together