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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Left DSC home alone

775 replies

Work1 · 04/08/2022 10:24

This happened yesterday but I'm still fuming about it to be honest.

I was due in work at 9am, husband starts at 7am so I've been dropping DSC at their holiday club on my way to work a few times when they've been at ours and we've had to go into work. They don't particularly like going but it is what it is.

Anyway yesterday morning DSC (9) was in a foul mood, refusing to get up, point blank refusing to go to club, saying 'make me', saying they were too tired and so on...

Anyway, it got to the point where I was going to be seriously late for work and I had to drop our child off too so I just fucked off and left. I rang DH and told him he'd need to come home from work and deal with it and I left and went to work.

DSC rang his mum and she's furious he was left alone but I am passed caring. They will now need to sort holiday clubs out or time off themselves as I won't be helping with it again (she's dropped them off with me beforehand too to take them to clubs as she starts work earlier than me). No way was I being late for work because of a 9 year olds tantrum and I wasn't dragging him out to the car either. Instead of being furious with me how about being cross with your child for being so naughty?!

OP posts:
greatblueheron · 05/08/2022 14:57

GelatoQueen · 05/08/2022 11:27

I think you have failed in a duty to care for a child here and shown poor judgement. But that's because I've done a lot of safeguarding training. Others obviously don't see the risks

Hilarious. So have I, every damn year, sometimes twice. So have lots of people on here. Still think OP did nothing wrong under the circumstances here.

CharlieAndTooManyCharacters · 05/08/2022 14:58

This is like actual gaslighting.

ive posted a screenshot of the government website that categorically does not say that children under 12 must not ever be left alone. It just doesn’t.

Meanwhile you’ve proved that you’re telling the truth that the police not only said but wrote that it would be the same for an 11 year old by posting a photo of a legal aid letter (not even from the police) that simply does not say anything about 11 year olds.

And you’re complaining about other prople’s comprehension. 🤯

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 14:59

@GelatoQueen Exactly!!!!

So so grateful that my child will never have a step mum! (I realise some are amazing but knowing my luck I'd get one like OP!)

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 15:00

CharlieAndTooManyCharacters · 05/08/2022 14:58

This is like actual gaslighting.

ive posted a screenshot of the government website that categorically does not say that children under 12 must not ever be left alone. It just doesn’t.

Meanwhile you’ve proved that you’re telling the truth that the police not only said but wrote that it would be the same for an 11 year old by posting a photo of a legal aid letter (not even from the police) that simply does not say anything about 11 year olds.

And you’re complaining about other prople’s comprehension. 🤯

🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ I showed the letter in response to your post implying that I'm lying about what happened to my child!

Go have a brew and calm down love!

CharlieAndTooManyCharacters · 05/08/2022 15:00

And also the threatening actual violence to the OP (if she were her child’s SM) and denying that it’s a threat of violence.

CharlieAndTooManyCharacters · 05/08/2022 15:01

i didn’t deny it happened to your child.

i said you were extremely slippery about the details to suit your point (and pretend it was relevant).

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 15:03

CharlieAndTooManyCharacters · 05/08/2022 15:00

And also the threatening actual violence to the OP (if she were her child’s SM) and denying that it’s a threat of violence.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 You've actually reached the batshit level now! Saying that "if anyone left my 9yr old home alone, they'd have no eyeballs left" is not threatening violence towards the OP ffs! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ You most certainly are Gaslighting!!!!!

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 05/08/2022 15:07

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I mean this is a beautiful example of how to be a good person

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 15:08

@Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits No it's not but it's not a patch on calling a mother a bad one!

CharlieAndTooManyCharacters · 05/08/2022 15:14

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 05/08/2022 15:07

I mean this is a beautiful example of how to be a good person

Show quote history

The other poster didn’t even call her a bad mother. Just despaired at the logic being employed.

And yet, it’s perfectly fine to say the response to people doing things you don’t like is to violently remove their eyes. Even speculatively - If you did that, you’d have no eyeballs - it’s a truly nasty thing to say.

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 15:17

@CharlieAndTooManyCharacters Incorrect! This is what was said "And people with this logic are free to raise children and pass on their wisdom". So that's not calling me a bad mother? Gaslighting AGAIN!

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 05/08/2022 15:18

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 15:17

@CharlieAndTooManyCharacters Incorrect! This is what was said "And people with this logic are free to raise children and pass on their wisdom". So that's not calling me a bad mother? Gaslighting AGAIN!

Nope, she is questioning your logic not your parenting

pitchforksandflamethrowers · 05/08/2022 15:19

@ThePumpkinPatch but there's no hierarchy of people who can't and cannot be rude. This isn't a game of I can be rude but you can't be.

So so grateful that my child will never have a step mum!

Unless your childrens father is dead unfortunately for all involved, you cannot say this with certainty

diddl · 05/08/2022 15:23

I know the onus was on the dad to collect his son & get him to the club-but I'm guessing that the mum wasn't concerned enough when her son rang to immediately down tools & rush to be with him?

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 15:25

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ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 15:26

pitchforksandflamethrowers · 05/08/2022 15:19

@ThePumpkinPatch but there's no hierarchy of people who can't and cannot be rude. This isn't a game of I can be rude but you can't be.

So so grateful that my child will never have a step mum!

Unless your childrens father is dead unfortunately for all involved, you cannot say this with certainty

He IS dead. Pretty sure I've already mentioned this?

Thatsenoughnow · 05/08/2022 15:30

Pumpkin patch do you understand this thread isn't about you?

You need to calm down about a 9yo child you don't know being left alone for 30 minutes. No doubt you're sensitive because of the situation with your baby being badly neglected and SS/police getting involved. But that's nothing to do with what op has posted about. I've reported your nasty personal attack and you probably need to step away and calm down.

MaxOverTheMoon · 05/08/2022 15:33

Gosh @ThePumpkinPatch take a step back from the screen and get your composure back. You sound like a violent person which I doubt you are really, you've just got overwhelmed with emotions.

CharlieAndTooManyCharacters · 05/08/2022 15:34

Opinions are like arseholes…

It’s a discussion forum. People can disagree with your opinion. And question your evidence. That’s not bullying.

I didn’t even imply you shouldn’t have children. Just noted that the poster being accused hadn’t said you were a bad mother. They didn’t. What they said might not have been very nice. But it wasn’t what you claimed they said (which is a theme on this thread).

And just to be clear, so I’m not accused of it, saying that opinions are like arseholes implies nothing about anyone’s character. Just that everyone has one. They’re not sacred, unchallengeable things.

I don’t think anyone has denied that you ex leaving a tiny newborn for hours while you were in hospital and couldn’t be there was dreadful. Just shocking. And of course you are upset about that. It shouldn’t have happened and it is a very good thing that you returned when you did.

But it’s just not relevant to the situation here. I’d suggest that, actually, you’d be best off not participating in threads that are likely to trigger some extremely traumatic memorise for you.

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 05/08/2022 15:34

Thatsenoughnow · 05/08/2022 15:30

Pumpkin patch do you understand this thread isn't about you?

You need to calm down about a 9yo child you don't know being left alone for 30 minutes. No doubt you're sensitive because of the situation with your baby being badly neglected and SS/police getting involved. But that's nothing to do with what op has posted about. I've reported your nasty personal attack and you probably need to step away and calm down.

Was the post directed at me (not yours the one you reported), that would explain some alert that disappeared when I clicked on it, otherwise I might have broken MN 😃

CharlieAndTooManyCharacters · 05/08/2022 15:36

And to be even more clear, I am glad that your child is safe.

Thatsenoughnow · 05/08/2022 15:39

Yeah i think it was aimed at you.

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 05/08/2022 15:40

Thatsenoughnow · 05/08/2022 15:39

Yeah i think it was aimed at you.

Go to know I didn't break something then, thanks 😁

Imthedamnfoolwhoshothim · 05/08/2022 16:07

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Giveaschitt · 05/08/2022 16:10

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 02:02

@Imthedamnfoolwhoshothim You're the only person making a fool of yourself by condoning the neglect of a nine year old child! Whether they're a baby, 6/7/8 or 9, they cannot sufficiently protect themselves! Yes, of course a 9yr old is more competent than a toddler but neither has the capability to protect themselves from certain dangers - therefore it's still endangering a child!

In my last house, my neighbour left her 11yr old in charge of her 9yr old to go on a date. The 9yr old subsequently fell down the stairs whilst 11yr old was sulking on her phone in her room. Thankfully he was fine but only because I happened to be knocking on the door to ask a favour at the exact moment he fell!! Of course I'll be accused of lying about this but I know fine well it happened & won't ever forget it. Including the sound of his little skinny body hitting the stairs & crashing into the front door as I stepped up to the other side of it.
She wasn't prosecuted but as she took him to hospital when she got home & was honest, they of course referred to SS. They investigated & warned her that it was unacceptable and if they investigated anything similar from her in future that her kids would be considered to be In Need. She was also given an NSPCC brochure explaining how to determine when your child/ren is ready to be left alone! I know all this as she told me herself whilst raging!

But how would his mother being home have stopped him falling down the stairs? Unless she would have followed him around constantly while he was in the house?! My 7 year old regularly uses the stairs in my house without me standing over him, clearly I'm being very neglectful!!

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