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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Left DSC home alone

775 replies

Work1 · 04/08/2022 10:24

This happened yesterday but I'm still fuming about it to be honest.

I was due in work at 9am, husband starts at 7am so I've been dropping DSC at their holiday club on my way to work a few times when they've been at ours and we've had to go into work. They don't particularly like going but it is what it is.

Anyway yesterday morning DSC (9) was in a foul mood, refusing to get up, point blank refusing to go to club, saying 'make me', saying they were too tired and so on...

Anyway, it got to the point where I was going to be seriously late for work and I had to drop our child off too so I just fucked off and left. I rang DH and told him he'd need to come home from work and deal with it and I left and went to work.

DSC rang his mum and she's furious he was left alone but I am passed caring. They will now need to sort holiday clubs out or time off themselves as I won't be helping with it again (she's dropped them off with me beforehand too to take them to clubs as she starts work earlier than me). No way was I being late for work because of a 9 year olds tantrum and I wasn't dragging him out to the car either. Instead of being furious with me how about being cross with your child for being so naughty?!

OP posts:
Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 05/08/2022 11:51

Cadot · 05/08/2022 07:10

The father thinking it's ok doesn't make it ok.

If the child's own parent isn't allowed to make a decision that is within the law then who the hell is allowed to make a decision?

Of course its okay if the father thinks its okay. The father is the parent, there is no one more okay to make a decision than a parent about their own child in their own house

Original poster
Work1 · 05/08/2022 11:54

If the child's own parent isn't allowed to make a decision that is within the law then who the hell is allowed to make a decision?

Well the answer is obvious isn't it? Their mum is the only one allowed.

OP posts:
Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 05/08/2022 12:02

Work1 · 05/08/2022 11:54

If the child's own parent isn't allowed to make a decision that is within the law then who the hell is allowed to make a decision?

Well the answer is obvious isn't it? Their mum is the only one allowed.

Yeah I was pretty sure that's where that poster was going with that comment

Cadot · 05/08/2022 12:03

He can make the decision without being prosecuted. That doesn't mean he can make it without being criticised.

There are all sorts of things which are currently legal to do to child, but still subject to legitimate criticism and debate eg ear piercing, circumcision ...

Ideally with major and risky decisions like these, the parents/guardians would discuss them and come to an agreement between themselves, in advance.

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 05/08/2022 12:05

Cadot · 05/08/2022 12:03

He can make the decision without being prosecuted. That doesn't mean he can make it without being criticised.

There are all sorts of things which are currently legal to do to child, but still subject to legitimate criticism and debate eg ear piercing, circumcision ...

Ideally with major and risky decisions like these, the parents/guardians would discuss them and come to an agreement between themselves, in advance.

Yeah leaving a 9 year old alone in bed for 30 mins with a phone is not exactly the same as choosing to cut part of his penis off

And parents are okay to make decisions on the fly without consulting the other parent. Of course they can now discuss what should happen in future, but you can't have a plan in place for every single endless what if that might happen in a childs life. And the father is as empowered to make those decisions as the mother.

KosherDill · 05/08/2022 12:13

Cadot · 05/08/2022 11:51

@KosherDill You really can't imagine any emergencies, problems or worries that could arise for a child left alone in a house without any adult?

Yes, but the likelihood of them happening in that exact hour is infinitesimally small. He's in greater danger riding in a car.

The pearl-clutching makes me wonder what sort of un resourceful children are being raised these days.

lookluv · 05/08/2022 12:20

OP agreed to take the child to activity.

OP chose ( circumstances are irrelevant ) to leave a 9 yr old on their own in her house

Her choice and whilst she agreed to care for a minor - she was responsible for that minor.

She may now wish to revisit that arrangement and I full understand why she wants to. However, at that time she was the adult in charge and she abandoned a minor. It is not clear whether she phoned the mother to let her know, we know she phoned the father but not clear whether that was before or after she left. IF the DF happy then fine but if he did not have enough time to get home before the OP left - she was irresponsible as the adult in charge.

Yes Mum will need to find alternative child care but the child on this occasion was in OPs house, then it is Dads problem.

pitchforksandflamethrowers · 05/08/2022 12:33

IF the DF happy then fine but if he did not have enough time to get home before the OP left - she was irresponsible as the adult in charge.

Op has repeatedly said dad oked it. By your logic since it happened on dads time in dads house, mum being unhappy is completely irrelevant. Since he has parental responsibility.

What others may do it fairly irrelevant since it's up to the parent in charge of the child to make a choice based on that child.

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 14:42

Work1 · 05/08/2022 05:50

I know. The comparison is ridiculous.

Well the police officer said himself that whether they're a baby or 11, the law is clear - they cannot fully protect themselves. But no, some neglectful step parent on mumsnet says different....🤣

Original poster
Work1 · 05/08/2022 14:43

the law is clear

What law? It's not against the law to leave a 9 year old for half an hour.

OP posts:
ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 14:44

@FurAndFeathers Your reading comprehension skills leave a lot to be desired. Try reading my post again. I quite clearly stated that I realise it is NOT exactly the same 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ Were you drunk when you wrote that post or what?!

Original poster
Work1 · 05/08/2022 14:45

And there is obviously, no matter what some random police officer said to you years ago, a WORLD of difference between the two situations. A huge gaping world of difference.

OP posts:
ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 14:45

@CharlieAndTooManyCharacters It's written in the report! How dare you imply that I've misunderstood the Police officer!

CharlieAndTooManyCharacters · 05/08/2022 14:47

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 14:42

Well the police officer said himself that whether they're a baby or 11, the law is clear - they cannot fully protect themselves. But no, some neglectful step parent on mumsnet says different....🤣

Show quote history

The law is intentionally ambiguous on this stuff. There is discretion built in so parents can exercise their isn’t judgement.

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 14:47

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ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 14:49

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MaxOverTheMoon · 05/08/2022 14:49

This thread is absolutely hilarious, you lose all moral highground threatening violence @ThePumpkinPatch as that is actually illegal 🤣 😂

Ffs I will always advise my dd to NEVER get with a wet lettuce with kids.

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 14:51

Work1 · 05/08/2022 14:45

And there is obviously, no matter what some random police officer said to you years ago, a WORLD of difference between the two situations. A huge gaping world of difference.

It's on the .gov website that a child under 12 must NOT be left unsupervised! 🤣 But you continue making your own laws up.....👍🏻

CharlieAndTooManyCharacters · 05/08/2022 14:51

This reply has been deleted

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ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 14:52

MaxOverTheMoon · 05/08/2022 14:49

This thread is absolutely hilarious, you lose all moral highground threatening violence @ThePumpkinPatch as that is actually illegal 🤣 😂

Ffs I will always advise my dd to NEVER get with a wet lettuce with kids.

How am I threatening violence?!?! I said IF! IF I was OP's step child's mother ffs! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ What the hell has happened to reading comprehension?!?

CharlieAndTooManyCharacters · 05/08/2022 14:52

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 14:51

It's on the .gov website that a child under 12 must NOT be left unsupervised! 🤣 But you continue making your own laws up.....👍🏻

Show quote history

I think you have comprehension difficulties. It does not say that.

this is what it says.

Left DSC home alone
Friarclose · 05/08/2022 14:53

YANBU, I am a stepmum of 2 boys aged 9 and 12 and if one of then pulled something like that I would have done the exact same thing. If the mum is so angry about her dc being left alone tell her she's perfectly welcome to come and fetch her own child and drive him herself

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 14:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

ThePumpkinPatch · 05/08/2022 14:55

@CharlieAndTooManyCharacters On a different part of the website I think you'll find that it does state "Children under 12 MUST not be left unsupervised"

Try harder

FlibbertyGiblets · 05/08/2022 14:57

Wow at the frothing, a proper berserker. Great spectator sport!

OP take no notice, you don't need to engage further with the craycray.

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