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Step-parenting

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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Enemy number 1 because I wouldn't collect sick SC

363 replies

Kikkkkk · 06/01/2022 15:27

I'm just recovering from being really unwell with a horrid virus (not Covid). I'm exhausted and have spent much of this week in bed with headaches, chills, aching and sore and swollen throat. Today is the first day I've felt able to move about a bit better but still knackered. I also have a year old son and stay home part time with him, I work 2 days a week but have been off sick. My son goes to nursery on those two days and has been with my parents for some of the week too (including this week) so I could rest during the day and today finally sort some bits of housework too.

I got a call earlier this afternoon from my step sons mother asking if I would be able to collect him from school as they've called to say he's not feeling well and she's at work. My husband is at work too but can't always have his phone on him so she'd not been able to get hold of him yet.

I said no because I was unwell and she'd have to collect him herself or try DH again. She put the phone down and I assume went to get him herself.

I had a text a couple of hours later basically saying it was disappointing I wouldn't help, she's really stressed with work and can't easily take the time out of the day blah blah.

It's not the first time she's treated me (due to the fact I work part time I assume) like her childcare.

Was I really being unreasonable?! Like sort it out between yourselves ffs, I'm knackered, unwell and I have to go and sort my own son out shortly, I'm usually quite understanding but I feel that crap that frankly I really don't give a shit about her work.

OP posts:
Getyourarseofffthequattro · 06/01/2022 21:12

[quote Autumnleavesfalling]@Getyourarseofffthequattro
No and no.

No problem with caps lock, but some people are selfish KNOBS

Apparently that's not appropriate to say. You take on some responsibility as a step parent. [/quote]
No, you don't. Hth.

timeisnotaline · 06/01/2022 21:12

This is a horrible thread. The op was sick. ANYTHING else that someone had asked her to do she’d have said no I’m unwell and can’t. If she were the nanny she’d be off sick. It’s not her husbands contact time. If it were the actual mum writing the post saying I’m home sick, have been unwell for days and it’s my exes contact time, he’s just messaged to say ds is sick and he’d rather not leave work so can I get him, then everyone would crucify the dad.
Your son gets you at home half the week for childcare so you don’t have to pay for it. Your dsc has a mum who has to work p/t and probably has to take care of the kids for the most of the week too.
So you’re saying the ops child is at home half the week with his mum so she doesn’t pay childcare except when she’s working, which is pt. Well, duh. He wasn’t home half this week as she wasn’t well enough to look after him.
The sds Mum also works part time, and sds lives 50% with the op. So she does less parenting of her own child than the op does of her own child but they both work part time. Why would you be presenting this as a situation that’s rosy for the op and isn’t fair on the ex? That’s just making stuff up!

aSofaNearYou · 06/01/2022 21:12

Picking up a child that lives with you that has taken sick in school is for the mother....em ok!

Erm.. yes, that's literally what it is. Because she is the person that would otherwise have to collect him. She was always going to have to if she couldn't get childcare, which she couldn't.

KiloWhat · 06/01/2022 21:13

[quote Autumnleavesfalling]@Getyourarseofffthequattro
No and no.

No problem with caps lock, but some people are selfish KNOBS

Apparently that's not appropriate to say. You take on some responsibility as a step parent. [/quote]
You don't. You really don't. I didn't sign anything when I married my DH that said I am at all responsible for his children.

Puremule · 06/01/2022 21:13

@Getyourarseofffthequattro nope, it's a FACT I would have gone to collect the child. No doubt about it. Again, my prerogative to tell the OP that yes she is being unreasonable in my opinion as she asked us to do just that :)

aSofaNearYou · 06/01/2022 21:13

[quote Autumnleavesfalling]@Getyourarseofffthequattro
No and no.

No problem with caps lock, but some people are selfish KNOBS

Apparently that's not appropriate to say. You take on some responsibility as a step parent. [/quote]
No you don't.

Autumnleavesfalling · 06/01/2022 21:13

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

If you are a stepmother I pity the children. HTH

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 06/01/2022 21:14

[quote Puremule]@Getyourarseofffthequattro nope, it's a FACT I would have gone to collect the child. No doubt about it. Again, my prerogative to tell the OP that yes she is being unreasonable in my opinion as she asked us to do just that :)[/quote]
Yes, sweetheart. We all know YOU would have. But it's not about YOU is it?

You can tell her she's being unreasonable, but harping on about what she SHOULD do in your OPINION is not what she asked and is helping nooooobody.

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 06/01/2022 21:15

[quote Autumnleavesfalling]@Getyourarseofffthequattro

If you are a stepmother I pity the children. HTH[/quote]
Why because I let his actual parents parent him?

Puremule · 06/01/2022 21:16

@Getyourarseofffthequattro Sorry Sweetcheeks, I did not tell her what she should do lol, I told what I would do..... do try to keep up pal.

Autumnleavesfalling · 06/01/2022 21:16

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

How patronising are you?

@Puremule has a different, perfectly valid, opinion.

This is AIBU. I think yes she is.

KiloWhat · 06/01/2022 21:16

[quote Puremule]@Getyourarseofffthequattro nope, it's a FACT I would have gone to collect the child. No doubt about it. Again, my prerogative to tell the OP that yes she is being unreasonable in my opinion as she asked us to do just that :)[/quote]
Maybe you should give the mum your number and then she can phone you to get them next time.

aSofaNearYou · 06/01/2022 21:16

[quote Autumnleavesfalling]@Getyourarseofffthequattro but pottering around doing housework with obliging grandparents looking after her son.

Doesn't take much to collect a sick child and both watch a film on the sofa [/quote]
Doesn't it? What if they're vomiting, or need a lot of care because they're ill, whilst OP herself is feeling dreadful? Of course it could be tough.

KiloWhat · 06/01/2022 21:16

[quote Autumnleavesfalling]@Getyourarseofffthequattro

How patronising are you?

@Puremule has a different, perfectly valid, opinion.

This is AIBU. I think yes she is.

[/quote]
Erm..No it's not..

KimMumsnet · 06/01/2022 21:17

Evening, all.

We've had some reports about his thread and, taking a look, it seems like things have got pretty out of hand.

Can we appeal for a bit of consideration before posting? We all know how tricky parenting (and life!) can get so it would be great if you could post with that in mind.
Thank you.

Mogul · 06/01/2022 21:17

@Autumnleavesfalling it's not AIBU

aSofaNearYou · 06/01/2022 21:18

[quote Autumnleavesfalling]@Getyourarseofffthequattro

How patronising are you?

@Puremule has a different, perfectly valid, opinion.

This is AIBU. I think yes she is.

[/quote]
A pretty ironic comment given Puremule's previous comment was
"Sorry Sweetcheeks, I did not tell her what she should do lol, I told what I would do..... do try to keep up pal.", which is about as patronising as it gets.

StormTreader · 06/01/2022 21:18

Heaven forbid the childs actual mother pick him up from school even though its not convenient for her Confused

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 06/01/2022 21:19

[quote Puremule]@Getyourarseofffthequattro Sorry Sweetcheeks, I did not tell her what she should do lol, I told what I would do..... do try to keep up pal.[/quote]
Nobody cares what you would do. It's not about you!

Puremule · 06/01/2022 21:19

@aSofaNearYou I was repaying the sweetheart comment.

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 06/01/2022 21:20

@Autumnleavesfalling

What a load of self entitled princess fuckwits this place breeds.
That is legitimately the funniest thing I've read on this board in a while
funinthesun19 · 06/01/2022 21:20

Heaven forbid the childs actual mother pick him up from school even though its not convenient for her

I know! And how awful for the child! His mother picking him up. He will definitely think his stepmother has rejected him!

NOT

aSofaNearYou · 06/01/2022 21:21

@Autumnleavesfalling

What a load of self entitled princess fuckwits this place breeds.
I see MNHQs appeal has been duly noted! 🙏
Autumnleavesfalling · 06/01/2022 21:21

@Getyourarseofffthequattro

You have to laugh really... don't know why I am getting so invested in a message board.

No offence meant, we all have different views 🤷‍♀️😂

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 06/01/2022 21:22

[quote Autumnleavesfalling]@Getyourarseofffthequattro

You have to laugh really... don't know why I am getting so invested in a message board.

No offence meant, we all have different views 🤷‍♀️😂[/quote]
Biscuit yeah of course.

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