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Original poster

Enemy number 1 because I wouldn't collect sick SC

363 replies

Kikkkkk · 06/01/2022 15:27

I'm just recovering from being really unwell with a horrid virus (not Covid). I'm exhausted and have spent much of this week in bed with headaches, chills, aching and sore and swollen throat. Today is the first day I've felt able to move about a bit better but still knackered. I also have a year old son and stay home part time with him, I work 2 days a week but have been off sick. My son goes to nursery on those two days and has been with my parents for some of the week too (including this week) so I could rest during the day and today finally sort some bits of housework too.

I got a call earlier this afternoon from my step sons mother asking if I would be able to collect him from school as they've called to say he's not feeling well and she's at work. My husband is at work too but can't always have his phone on him so she'd not been able to get hold of him yet.

I said no because I was unwell and she'd have to collect him herself or try DH again. She put the phone down and I assume went to get him herself.

I had a text a couple of hours later basically saying it was disappointing I wouldn't help, she's really stressed with work and can't easily take the time out of the day blah blah.

It's not the first time she's treated me (due to the fact I work part time I assume) like her childcare.

Was I really being unreasonable?! Like sort it out between yourselves ffs, I'm knackered, unwell and I have to go and sort my own son out shortly, I'm usually quite understanding but I feel that crap that frankly I really don't give a shit about her work.

OP posts:
funinthesun19 · 06/01/2022 20:51

am not talking about responsibility, I am talking about doing the right thing for the child that shares your home, not a tit for tat, not my problem, let her do it, not my child, fuck her attitude. None of that helps anyone.

And maybe the right thing for the child is for one of their parents to collect them. Not whoever is the most convenient for mum.

funinthesun19 · 06/01/2022 20:56

Why do you think the exs job is more important than the ops health, when it comes to picking up a child whom only one of these women are responsible for?

And even if the op wasn’t ill and she was simply just going about her day doing whatever, why is the ex’s job and time more important? People seem to think the op should be on call for the ex whenever she needs help. Since when has that been ok??

Autumnleavesfalling · 06/01/2022 20:57

I think that you are being unreasonable. Surely now you are family, I would pick up my kids, sister's kids, friends kids. I think you are being peevish.

aSofaNearYou · 06/01/2022 20:59

@Autumnleavesfalling

I think that you are being unreasonable. Surely now you are family, I would pick up my kids, sister's kids, friends kids. I think you are being peevish.
It's not unreasonable to say you wouldn't pick up your sister or friends kids if you are ill. Or any children other than your own.
Puremule · 06/01/2022 20:59

@Getyourarseofffthequattro Again I will say, if a child lives with me half the time, sits at my table, sleeps in my bedroom, watches tv with us, does homework etc etc...you know like LIVES there for half a week, every week 182 days a year, I would consider him part of the family, part of my family. I would WANT to go and pick him up if he was sick. I would WANT to make sure he was ok. I would WANT to take him home if his mother was stuck in work and was finding it hard to get away. Would I want to do it for his mother? No!
Would I want to do it because I am a walkover and afraid to say no? No!
I would want to do it because I have feelings for a child who lives with me. I would want to do it because I have been sick and still am sick and know what it is like. I would want to do it because for me, it would be the right thing to do.

Like sort it out between yourselves ffs, I'm knackered, unwell and I have to go and sort my own son out shortly, I'm usually quite understanding but I feel that crap that frankly I really don't give a shit about her work

And yes... that is a big fuck you. No thought for the child, just a big Fuck you and do it yourself. Sad.

Autumnleavesfalling · 06/01/2022 21:02

@Puremule agree with you 100 per cent.

OP - give your head a wobble

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 06/01/2022 21:03

[quote Puremule]@Getyourarseofffthequattro Again I will say, if a child lives with me half the time, sits at my table, sleeps in my bedroom, watches tv with us, does homework etc etc...you know like LIVES there for half a week, every week 182 days a year, I would consider him part of the family, part of my family. I would WANT to go and pick him up if he was sick. I would WANT to make sure he was ok. I would WANT to take him home if his mother was stuck in work and was finding it hard to get away. Would I want to do it for his mother? No!
Would I want to do it because I am a walkover and afraid to say no? No!
I would want to do it because I have feelings for a child who lives with me. I would want to do it because I have been sick and still am sick and know what it is like. I would want to do it because for me, it would be the right thing to do.

Like sort it out between yourselves ffs, I'm knackered, unwell and I have to go and sort my own son out shortly, I'm usually quite understanding but I feel that crap that frankly I really don't give a shit about her work

And yes... that is a big fuck you. No thought for the child, just a big Fuck you and do it yourself. Sad.[/quote]
Again, do you want a gold star?

You just keep telling us how YOU feel and how loving YOU are and how amazing YOU are.

What is it that stops you understanding that all blended families are in fact different? That your opinion is just that, your opinion. Not fact. Not a stick to beat people with. Not something to aspire to. It's just how your family works.

Not everyone wants to be like that.

aSofaNearYou · 06/01/2022 21:05

@Puremule The child was picked up, by his mother. It just inconvenienced her. This is 100% a favour for the parent, there was never any question that the child wouldn't be picked up. Trying to paint it as for the child is pure manipulation, it's not, it's for the mother.

And I would not do a favour that cost me something for someone that wasn't even polite about it. OP said this is the first day she's been able to move around, so she's clearly been substantially unwell.

Puremule · 06/01/2022 21:05

@Getyourarseofffthequattro OP ASKED if she was being unreasonable and I think she was and I gave my reasons why numerous times. You agree with her and have said so numerous times too.

That's how this place works :)

Autumnleavesfalling · 06/01/2022 21:05

Seems to me to be point scoring and line marking for the sake of a poorly little one getting picked up and tucked up at home for one afternoon. I despair

Puremule · 06/01/2022 21:06

[quote aSofaNearYou]@Puremule The child was picked up, by his mother. It just inconvenienced her. This is 100% a favour for the parent, there was never any question that the child wouldn't be picked up. Trying to paint it as for the child is pure manipulation, it's not, it's for the mother.

And I would not do a favour that cost me something for someone that wasn't even polite about it. OP said this is the first day she's been able to move around, so she's clearly been substantially unwell. [/quote]
Picking up a child that lives with you that has taken sick in school is for the mother....em ok!

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 06/01/2022 21:06

[quote Puremule]@Getyourarseofffthequattro OP ASKED if she was being unreasonable and I think she was and I gave my reasons why numerous times. You agree with her and have said so numerous times too.

That's how this place works :)[/quote]
Yes, I know, but you're presenting your opinion as fact. You're assuming everyone wants to be like you. They don't.

Puremule · 06/01/2022 21:07

@Autumnleavesfalling

Seems to me to be point scoring and line marking for the sake of a poorly little one getting picked up and tucked up at home for one afternoon. I despair
Absolutely!
Getyourarseofffthequattro · 06/01/2022 21:07

@Autumnleavesfalling

Seems to me to be point scoring and line marking for the sake of a poorly little one getting picked up and tucked up at home for one afternoon. I despair
Op is Ill. Did you miss that bit?
Autumnleavesfalling · 06/01/2022 21:08

Surely as a stepmother and that child is BROTHER to your child you would be happy to help

Puremule · 06/01/2022 21:08

Nope, My fact, My life, My opinion and My right. Same as yours.

Autumnleavesfalling · 06/01/2022 21:09

@Getyourarseofffthequattro but pottering around doing housework with obliging grandparents looking after her son.

Doesn't take much to collect a sick child and both watch a film on the sofa

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 06/01/2022 21:09

@Autumnleavesfalling

Surely as a stepmother and that child is BROTHER to your child you would be happy to help
Are you the same person as @Puremule? Do you have an issue with your caps lock too?

My step child maybe my child's BROTHER but he's not my SON and he has two PARENTS and neither of them were ILL.

KiloWhat · 06/01/2022 21:09

@Autumnleavesfalling

I think that you are being unreasonable. Surely now you are family, I would pick up my kids, sister's kids, friends kids. I think you are being peevish.
She wasn't being peevish. She was being ill.
Getyourarseofffthequattro · 06/01/2022 21:10

[quote Autumnleavesfalling]@Getyourarseofffthequattro but pottering around doing housework with obliging grandparents looking after her son.

Doesn't take much to collect a sick child and both watch a film on the sofa [/quote]
Sorry, how do you know? Are you clinically trained and been round and assessed op?

Why is it any easier than his actual mother picking him up?

Oh yes, it's not.

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 06/01/2022 21:10

@Puremule

Nope, My fact, My life, My opinion and My right. Same as yours.
It's not a fact, it's an opinion. Are you unsure of the difference?
Mogul · 06/01/2022 21:11

Picking up a child that lives with you that has taken sick in school is for the mother....em ok!

Yes it is ....OK!!

Autumnleavesfalling · 06/01/2022 21:11

@Getyourarseofffthequattro
No and no.

No problem with caps lock, but some people are selfish KNOBS

Apparently that's not appropriate to say. You take on some responsibility as a step parent.

funinthesun19 · 06/01/2022 21:11

Puremule that’s good for you if you want the dynamics to be like that. You carry on.
But you need to accept that the way you do it can be suffocating to people who happen have boundaries. Not everyone wants to jump for the ex all in the name of it being for the child.

KiloWhat · 06/01/2022 21:12

@Autumnleavesfalling

Surely as a stepmother and that child is BROTHER to your child you would be happy to help
Surely as a MOTHER to that child she would be embarrassed to be expecting someone who simply got together with the man who she had a kid with after she did to pick her child up from school.