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Original poster

DH upset I left DSC off thank you cards

476 replies

KiloWhat · 05/01/2022 18:16

I did christmas thank you cards from toddler DC and posted them all off to the relatives and now DH is upset that I didn't write the DSC's names on the card. They are both old enough to sort their own thank yous if they wanted to.

I just didn't think to do them from them, just an activity for toddler to do on a cold wet day! Is that odd?

I don't really know why I'm posting. I guess I'm a bit fed up of doing a nice thing with DC and then it becoming a 'big deal' because I've not included DSC.

Basically he's too lazy to try and organise it himself I reckon!

OP posts:
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candlelightsatdawn · 06/01/2022 10:55

@funinthesun19

Or don’t get their dad on it. If he’s that bothered then I’m sure he will make the effort… possibly.
Seems like the DH would prefer for OP to take on this mantle and bizarrely so are lot of the posters.

Personally the drama over a thank you card would make me stake this hill as one to die on. But then that's because I have enough of my own rouge monkeys going around.

RedWingBoots · 06/01/2022 11:00

@KiloWhat

I assume you wrote husband's name too and didn't wait for him to come home and put his own signature before posting. you thought wrong.

They just had my child's scribble in them. No one else's name.

That's what my DD thank you cards are like.

Birthday cards and Christmas cards are signed from some or all of us depending who the recipient knows.

Original poster
KiloWhat · 06/01/2022 12:12

Seems like the DH would prefer for OP to take on this mantle and bizarrely so are lot of the posters.

Personally the drama over a thank you card would make me stake this hill as one to die on. But then that's because I have enough of my own rouge monkeys going around.

There was actually far less drama from DH than there is here. I feel I should make that clear.

But in a way it has helped me in that I see DH's little hmpf wasn't anywhere near as extreme as it could have been!

OP posts:
Original poster
KiloWhat · 06/01/2022 12:13

@funinthesun19

Or don’t get their dad on it. If he’s that bothered then I’m sure he will make the effort… possibly.
Hehe yup. I don't care either way so am staying out of it!
OP posts:
Viviennemary · 06/01/2022 12:17

Sounds like you are not cut out to be a step parent. Hardly the Christmas spirit. Hmm

girlmom21 · 06/01/2022 12:17

@Viviennemary

Sounds like you are not cut out to be a step parent. Hardly the Christmas spirit. Hmm
It's a bit late for that, isn't it!
Original poster
KiloWhat · 06/01/2022 12:20

@Viviennemary

Sounds like you are not cut out to be a step parent. Hardly the Christmas spirit. Hmm
Rightio
OP posts:
RedWingBoots · 06/01/2022 12:22

@Viviennemary

Sounds like you are not cut out to be a step parent. Hardly the Christmas spirit. Hmm
Sorry this bingo card square has already been marked.
Original poster
KiloWhat · 06/01/2022 12:23

Sorry this bingo card square has already been marked Grin

OP posts:
Duchess379 · 06/01/2022 12:31

Did DC & DSC get a joint present? I expect not, so I don't see why you have to do their thank you cards. Where's 'mum' in all this?

RedWingBoots · 06/01/2022 12:35

@Duchess379

Did DC & DSC get a joint present? I expect not, so I don't see why you have to do their thank you cards. Where's 'mum' in all this?
If the presents were handed to dad - because there are from his side of the family - then it is for dad to pull his fucking finger out and get his older children to thank his and his older children's relations properly.

It is not a woman's role - regardless of whether they are mum, step-mum or other female relation - to do this for dad.

Viviennemary · 06/01/2022 12:39

Just carry on not thinking about them and everything will be fine.

ispepsiokay · 06/01/2022 12:45

If I'd received a cute toddler scribble with some teen names written in it'd be pretty obvious that the older teens played zero part in the activity.

Let them call/text or not, I very much doubt they will care (or know)

sofakingcool · 06/01/2022 12:47

@Duchess379

Did DC & DSC get a joint present? I expect not, so I don't see why you have to do their thank you cards. Where's 'mum' in all this?
As 'Mum' in our house, I wouldn't expect to have anything to do with thank you cards for my ex's family or particularly my ex's wife's family. I would ask my DS if he'd said thank you, but leave it up to his Dad to sort out how that thank you is done

I don't have any contact details..

peachgreen · 06/01/2022 12:50

I would do thank you cards for step children who lived with me full time. But their father or mother should be doing them in this instance.

Duchess379 · 06/01/2022 12:50

Sofakingcool. Very reasonable. I was just making the point that the DSC have 2 of their own parents to sort out thank you cards, not OPs job to do it 👍🏼

funinthesun19 · 06/01/2022 13:35

If I'd received a cute toddler scribble with some teen names written in it'd be pretty obvious that the older teens played zero part in the activity.

This is a really good point.
And even more importantly, I would make a massive fuss about how adorable and thoughtful the toddler is for making such a lovely card.
My first thought would not be how hard done by the teens are that their toddler sibling did some little cute scribbles and pictures without them.

I do think some

funinthesun19 · 06/01/2022 13:39

Pressed too early.

I do think some people are far too sensitive if they get upset about a toddler making a little card and getting all the glory for it.

Glitterygreen · 06/01/2022 13:50

Tbh it wouldn't cross my mind to do thank you cards from my SCs unless they were going to my family so I knew their mum wouldn't be sorting it.

girlmom21 · 06/01/2022 14:17

@Glitterygreen

Tbh it wouldn't cross my mind to do thank you cards from my SCs unless they were going to my family so I knew their mum wouldn't be sorting it.
And this is the problem. What about their dad? When does he sort thank you cards?
Dollyparton3 · 06/01/2022 15:09

@Viviennemary

Sounds like you are not cut out to be a step parent. Hardly the Christmas spirit. Hmm
Hand us the rule book @Viviennemary and we'll have a chat about it shall we?
Glitterygreen · 06/01/2022 15:53

Tbh it wouldn't cross my mind to do thank you cards from my SCs unless they were going to my family so I knew their mum wouldn't be sorting it.

And this is the problem. What about their dad? When does he sort thank you cards?

He can sort them, either of them can?

What I mean is that it wouldn't cross my mind to involve myself in any thank you cards coming from my SCs (or not) unless they were going to my own family. And they are the only people I can 100% know wouldn't already have received one via their mum.

I would not feel it was my place to either send wider thank you cards on behalf of my stepchildren, or chase up their parents to do it. That's up to them.

SleepOhHowIMissYou · 06/01/2022 18:17

@KiloWhat

I assume you wrote husband's name too and didn't wait for him to come home and put his own signature before posting. you thought wrong.

They just had my child's scribble in them. No one else's name.

Oh in that case then they were from your toddler and no-one else. Why would anyone else sign a card your toddler had made?

Did your husband see them? Do you think he might think you sent shop bought cards?

Original poster
KiloWhat · 06/01/2022 18:22

They were shop bought. DC scribbled in them.

Is that combination OK?

OP posts:
Rainbowqueeen · 06/01/2022 18:30

Up to your DH to sort. No reason for you to consider them as it’s a basic parenting task that he should be all over.