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Disengaging, Nacho support thread

156 replies

SnowWhitesSM · 06/10/2021 14:15

Hiya - anyone fancy a disengaging support thread?

Rules of disengaging - not your circus not your monkeys! The more I concentrate on good things in my life the more I don't care about the shit I cant control. There is still a bit of a target on my back as I'm not the greatest at disengaging, but I'm trying!

Helpful links I've found along the way -

blendedfamilyfrappe.com/about there is a survival guide download on this site that has saved my sanity.

Radical step mum on IG is also very helpful.

There's the Facebook Nacho-ing group, it's American based and there is also an academy for additional support. Advice is pretty good although there are obvious culture differences between UK and US step parenting.

jamiescrimgeour.com/uncategorized/when-should-a-stepmom-disengage-from-parenting/ another blogger that I've found a bit helpful.

If anyone wants to join in and has any other links to share that would be great!

What I'm trying to achieve by disengaging is to take the target off my back. So I don't say to DH argh the living rooms a mess and dss hasn't put anything away, I ask dh to tidy up the living room. He then sees its dss mess and tells him to tidy up or, if he chooses he tidies up himself and I'm not put out by it. This was dh can't get defensive and put his annoyance on me and I'm not the bad guy.

Some things you can't disengage from - my recent thread about positive lft is testament to that, but life has got easier since I've stepped back and found something else to concentrate on rather than be annoyed around dhs parenting.

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DeedIDo · 03/11/2021 19:00

A bit of a bonus here.

It's complicated, but DH was supposed to be working away for the whole of November. Now he isn't. He's at home. SD was coming down this weekend anyway, because her DH has something on here. With DH away, I would not have seen her. With DH here, it wasn't looking promising.

However, because DH was not supposed to be here, I had arranged weeks ago to go out for the day with my DDs on Sunday, and now that's when SD is coming. For some reason, DH arranged that even though he knew I would not be here.

I'm looking forward to my day out. DH is trying to figure out how he's going to cook lunch.

SnowWhitesSM · 04/11/2021 09:25

@DeedIDo I would be upset that I didn't have the month off! That sounds like bliss to me right now! Well done for not changing your plans for Sunday.

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DeedIDo · 05/11/2021 16:04

The month off would have been good, especially as DH and I have basically been at home together since December 2019, but in anticipation of it I had booked lots of stuff in so I wouldn't be bored and I still have that to look forward to. Win for me.

SD has just sent DH a video of her 18 month old DC sitting inside the washing machine chewing the door seal. That goes some way to explain why I have to distance myself.

SnowWhitesSM · 11/11/2021 09:16

Hope you have a lovely lovely month @DeedIDo

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Aisforharlot · 16/11/2021 14:34

I don't really know where else to write this, hoping some of you can offer wisdom.

I'm due any day (40+2) and the idea of having DSS round at the weekend is stressing the hell out of me.
I have ASD / anxiety etc and he triggers my anxiety constantly - DP drove a wedge between us all during the stress of 2020 lockdowns, DSS's incredible sensitivity became my son's fault (DS is 7 ffs, DSS is 13), every other negative was my fault. We actually broke up because I was sick of the scapegoating when I was 7 months, but things have since settled.

I can't bear the thought of being so bloody pregnant and having my chief stressor flumping around our tiny house sulking, whilst waiting to go into labour.
Neither DSS's mother nor my DS's father will take them additional days, either of which would solve the issue as I could just stay with my parents (I will do so Friday night with DS, but he gets bored and wants to go home sat 10am).
Don't know what to do, I want to cry.

candlelightsatdawn · 16/11/2021 20:54

@Aisforharlot I don't have much advice but can you find childcare for your DC and then bugger of to your parents and leave DH to deal with DSC.

Thinking creatively clubs, camps a lovely friend who has kids that owes you a favour.
It sounds like a lot of DSC behaviour is being out at your door and I would remind yourself that actually you can return awkwardness too sender. I know heavily pregnant you won't want to think this but life maybe easier just you DC and baby.

I hope the birth goes ok and honestly you need to have a word with DP to make sure he's stepping up and handling his DC rather than blaming everyone else. 💐

seventyminutes · 08/12/2021 16:49

Hello everyone

I'm glad I found this thread. I'm trying to disengage myself but my partner is pretty hands on with my own Dd so i think I have a sense of guilt when it comes to jt.

It never used to be like this, we were both pretty invested in care and we have been quite merged from the start it is just what our families are used to. So we both do the school run (whoever is passing or can make it around work commitments), bedtime routines, both being at home and putting the children first over our own plans etc etc.

Lately I'm starting to feel very resentful towards my SD because of the lack of love and her behaviour towards me. Not saying hello and blank ignoring me as soon as she comes in the door, generally being ungrateful and spiteful towards my own DD, stealing off me etc etc. I know I'm the adult here and I should suck it up but I can feel my care towards her slipping. I've noticed I'm stepping back with parenting which I'm starting to understand this IS my partners role and not mine - she has a mother - which is helping me loads and taken so much pressure off my shoulders but also things like me making sure I make plans of my own when she is here because I'm bloody sick of running around after everyone (I'm a home worker so the house chores and school runs for my own DD fall to me the first half of the week). I've been shunned out of the school pick ups because her mum has made every single effort to block me from picking her up on my partners contact time, which I was happy with doing - my Dd and my Sds schools are next to each other and it's just generally easier on all of us if I do it on that set day, my partner doesn't have to cut his work hours to come home early which affects us all. So I've put my foot down and told him he's going to have to make other arrangements because I'm sick of being treated like a criminal at the school gates! But I feel guilty about getting my own DD and driving past the school, how could I not?

I need to learn to detach from this because it eats me up. He will move hell on Earth for my DD but recently it seems I am doing less and less for his, including spending time with her because her attitude towards me is awful and I'm sick of it.

I've made tea for all of us tonight (despite working all day and being ill) and I know the first thing she will do is come home ignore me and then moan about it. Ive not seen her for ten days due to her schedule and it's disheartening. I used to miss her dearly but recently I just haven't.

Other things like having to delay my DD's birthday plans for a month so my SD can be included, having to delay them again because SD was poorly (not her fault I know) but then a month later we are celebrating DDs birthday with a trip out and some food and my SDs making all the effort in the world to jeopardise it by sulking the whole day and refusing to talk to us all because my DD picked the restaurant for her birthday meal and not her!

I need to find some strength to push past this all because I am really struggling with it and the last thing I want to do is be the cause of my family breaking down. I think my partner is starting to pick up on how distant I'm beginning to get towards her

ihateaparade · 08/12/2021 20:24

Her behavior towards you is rude and obnoxious. Your husband is her parent and should be pulling her up on it each and every time. If he won't, then you should. If she's in your house and behaving inappropriately towards you and your daughter, then correct her. She wouldn't treat a teacher the way she treats you because she knows that there will be consequences. She's making a choice to be a brat and rude and choices have consequences. Choose poorly and maybe you aren't available to make her and her father's lives less comfortable. Forget about the school run. That's between your husband and the ex. If the ex wants to make her life harder by doing the pickups, let her. Enjoy the nice time, alone, with your daughter. She's not your child. Really, you have a DH problem if he's letting her get away with ruining your daughter's birthday and being rude to a caring adult in her life. Practically, if she moans about dinner, just smile and tell her to make a sandwich or have some fruit or whatever. I certainly wouldn't be catering to her because nothing you do will make her happy. Same with her washing or driving her wherever. The stealing is another thing entirely. What does your husband say about that? And if he says anything about you not engaging with her, I'd let him know exactly why. She's rude, entitled, and has stolen from you. This is his problem to fix. Start doing things with your daughter and enjoy that time.

BeyondOurReef · 09/12/2021 17:13

You shouldn’t feel guilty about stepping back. Your partner is allowing his daughter to treat you and your daughter this way. Rather than feeing bad because you think you’re doing less than him, reframe this. Would you allow your daughter to treat him the way he allows his daughter to treat you?

I’m certain the answer is no. He needs to step up and do the unpleasant bits of parenting - the bits where he corrects his daughter’s behaviour and imposes consequences for poor behaviour.

SnowWhitesSM · 09/12/2021 19:18

Tbh I know I started this Nacho thread but I don't believe Nacho works.

On reflection what drove me and stb ex H to split is that I felt powerless. I had no voice and I was an outsider 50% of the time. Nachoing just made it 10x worse. It felt better for a while but those annoyances and words I kept to myself ate me up.

If I was you I'd treat her like my own child. She's rude then pull her up on it. If she's rude when you do that, take her phone away. Make some rules/boundaries with your P and firmly stick to it. Not loads of petty rules but basic house rules. You will feel so much better by being able to say - dsd you are being very rude and ruining dds birthday meal out. When its your birthday you can pick the restaurant and if you carry on then you won't have your phone. And then follow it through. Dont let yourself become a ghost of yourself.

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BeyondOurReef · 09/12/2021 19:24

@SnowWhitesSM

Tbh I know I started this Nacho thread but I don't believe Nacho works.

On reflection what drove me and stb ex H to split is that I felt powerless. I had no voice and I was an outsider 50% of the time. Nachoing just made it 10x worse. It felt better for a while but those annoyances and words I kept to myself ate me up.

If I was you I'd treat her like my own child. She's rude then pull her up on it. If she's rude when you do that, take her phone away. Make some rules/boundaries with your P and firmly stick to it. Not loads of petty rules but basic house rules. You will feel so much better by being able to say - dsd you are being very rude and ruining dds birthday meal out. When its your birthday you can pick the restaurant and if you carry on then you won't have your phone. And then follow it through. Dont let yourself become a ghost of yourself.

I agree with you on nachoing. And I’m sorry it had such a devastating effect on you.

But it is often impossible to treat a stepchild like your own child - because of his or her parents. They just don’t let you and you end up on the wrong for trying to have basic house rules and boundaries.

Ultimately, we all need a partner who is actually working with us - rather than slowing his children to treat us and our homes poorly and using as as a convenient scapegoat. Without that, there’s nothing you can do as a stepmother.

BeyondOurReef · 09/12/2021 19:24

How are you doing, by the way?

SnowWhitesSM · 09/12/2021 19:45

@BeyondOurReef maybe not the consequences part but I definitely think any step parent should be able to say - dsd you're behaviour right now is unacceptable. It just eats away at you otherwise and moaning to their parent doesn't work as they hear it as an attack.

I'm doing really well thank you for asking. I have peace again. Stb ex has arranged some counselling for himself and I can see now how my resentments took over my life and that the blame I put on stb ex was a bit unfair. I love it being just me and my dc again. I feel like I'm me again and I love it. I will never be a step parent with dependent sc ever again. It makes me miserable and I deserve happiness. I have my nice life back again.

Hope you're ok and thanks again for your support on my break up thread.

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candlelightsatdawn · 09/12/2021 20:29

Part of me thinks that nachoing really only applies to certain things, childcare, house rules that don't effect you or any DC in the house (has DSC eaten vegetables) if DSC does homework ect.

It certainly doesn't apply to things that will effect your mental well-being. And is 100X harder if you have your own children in the house. It shouldn't mean no house rules or you lose your voice but tbh it's really always down to DP.

Snow I'm so glad your doing better !! 💐

SnowWhitesSM · 09/12/2021 21:20

Maybe @candlelightsatdawn but I remember being really annoyed about dss not eating veg when he didn't feel like it. I know I shouldn't have got annoyed but our different value bases with consistency showed up in things like that. It's just reminded me how nice meal times are again now he's gone. I'm not a flipping martyr and my dc often eat in their rooms, but the few nights a week up to the table that I insist on is stress free and enjoyable.

I also remember ex h being annoyed at my ds not doing his homework and having to attend his schools homework club - so it swings in roundabouts. Basically other people's kids are annoying and living with them is intolerable for people like me Grin

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Vie8126 · 10/12/2021 05:57

@SnowWhitesSM I have been thinking of you lately and wondered how you was doing. I'm so glad to see you are happy and enjoying life. If I'm honest the best years with my DC were being a single parent yes it's tough at times but it's only you in charge your rules noones passing comments about your DC or picking on their behaviour because it does work both ways. I couldn't live with dps child full time yet he does mine and how I do not know!!

I'm not sure how much nacho can work with contact it might be 'don't sweat the small stuff' I have learnt from dp that it is his reactions to anything related to dsd which pushes my buttons and sets off this intense anxiety around her. We have completely unrelated conversations about her and he always turns it to 'you don't like dsd do you' as an example he was asking for help with a response to a cafcass email and I said 'dp you are prepared for some mud slinging from dsd mum here aren't you because she is likely to make stuff up for this and it could be hurtful to read or I could even be dragged into this and my DC but your prepared for that right' descended to 'you don't like dsd' 'you've always had a problem with dsd' and the favorite 'you think your kids are so perfect after your ds' s behaviour lately he can go and live with his dad' in turn a huge fucking shit storm of a row. So then when I call him out on it and say this is nothing to do with dsd the accusations of how I hate her etc intensify. I've told him everytime her name comes up there is zero positive that comes from it because it just turns into a slanging match towards me and obviously I stand up for myself. He makes shitty comments like 'why are you making this about you' - I'm not. 'if there are any allegations about you or your DC I am seeing my dd in my house regardless she is part of this family and you will not make me choose' - I never said he couldn't see her nor did I say he had to choose. However knowing that her mother could say anything about me or my DC and he wouldnt think anything of it makes you feel like shit in the middle of the bashing Vie. He then had the cheek after telling me to leave and bashing my DC to ask if I was going to help with his poxy cafcass email. The answer was no. We in a situation now whereby even if he says he misses dsd I can't comment as it brings such anxiety around an argument and I don't like arguing nor do I want that in my life. However he sees it that I'm not interested. It's a loose loose situation comment and it will be a row or not comment and he still isn't happy. How it will be when he eventually has contact god only knows.

I'm on maternity leave and smp but squirrling away money as I can. I will never ever involve myself with a man with DC.

seventyminutes · 10/12/2021 08:50

Thank you both I really needed some solid head wobbling!

My partner does step up, but it’s get to the point where he’s constantly punishing her for her behaviour and it’s affecting everyone’s moods the whole feel of it. It can go on for a whole morning or an afternoon and then everyone’s grumpy and the source is her.

It makes me wonder if we aren’t doing something right for her to behave this way. Her mother is a nightmare, and I do feel she’s learned the emotional, selfish and silky manipulative side from her. Shes 8 by the way!

I’m torn between not giving a fuck anymore to wondering whether should we be doing something better for this child - I feel my partner is at a loss sometimes too especially as our weekends and family time is now plagued by bad moods and falling outs.

One thing I do know is that I know my Dd has appreciated me turning the attention away from my SD to focus on DD more

candlelightsatdawn · 10/12/2021 09:25

@SnowWhitesSM tbh I'm so on the fence about nachoing. Seemed like a great idea at the time but ends up you feeling like you can't have emotions or your emotions are bad for existing. I'm not sure it's healthy but I suppose detachment is only a coping mechanism.

You sound so much happier and I'm pleased. You were going through hell !!

@seventyminutes I swear she 8 is the magical age number which comes up time and time again. Tricky age for any child. I think the problem is that as step parent if you see or think your SC is being failed in anyway your natural response is to try and fix it. The premise of nachoing if I have it correctly isn't to detach from the family rules and have no voice but is to return those issues back to DH. I would have a word with him and say look your mood is effecting us and I can't keep leaving the house because one or both of you are sulking. Get a action plan in place for when SD does sulk with DH which he enforces, and have one for you with DH too. I used to tell mine to dig hole in garden.

As I said to snow though I'm split on whole nachoing thing, there must be a right balance but I have yet to find it ! But if anyone has worked it successfully please come share

SnowWhitesSM · 10/12/2021 09:38

@seventyminutes no 8 is the worst age. The majority of people struggling on this forum aren't ones with teen dc, it's 8 yr olds.

@Vie8126 thank you I am much happier. But thats because I'm happier single in general. I'm like you and my best years have been being a single mum.

I tell you what though, I've been really reflecting on my own behaviour and it's really not been all of ex h fault. Our communication is terrible and we both live in survival mode from our childhoods. I get so caught up in my own feelings and take everything as a rejection or slight, he does the same but his comes out as fight and mine comes out as flight. He's going to go to counselling and my work has agreed edmr therapy for me. We might end up back together but we're taking a year apart to work on ourselves and then see what it's like. I do know though that I'm determined not to live as a step parent again so we have discussed living apart but being together until his son stops going for contact. We'll see what happens but I'm also not putting my life on hold for a year, I'm determined to fill it with happiness, joy and peace. I am never going back to how I was. When we got together we both let our friendships and interests slide and stopped being ourselves. Covid lockdowns made it worse. I was better at seeing my friends then h was but we still should have been ourselves instead of getting lost in each other.

I wonder if living apart from your dp would be better @vie. You would have peace again and free to parent how you want too.

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Vie8126 · 10/12/2021 09:55

@SnowWhitesSM you might find when dss gets passed being 8 and into a teen things get easier anyway and are different. You sound like you have older children and boys tend to withdraw and be monosyllabic as teens. I completely get where you're coming from I'm working on myself and my own childhood issues. It's a shame as we 90% of the time communicate really effectively it's the communication around dsd that's the issue dp jumps as soon as any conversation around her and down my throat. I've voiced it let's see what happens. It's not fair as the association of negativity around her is being driven by him. Enjoy your life and working on yourself and see where it takes you don't commit to anything. It's very easy to get lost in each other and let things slide especially when you both have children and other things going on it feels like you have to enjoy every child free moment with each other rather than friends etc. You will be okay I can just tell you got this 😁

BeyondOurReef · 10/12/2021 10:29

I really don’t think that nachoing helps. I think that people arrive at nachoing because they are a bit desperate and are hoping they can find some way around a problem that they can’t solve.

The premise of nachoing is that you can step back and he will step up. Sounds reasonable. But the problem is that you end up giving up all power and voice in the hope that a man will completely change his approach to his DC and actually consider you in deciding how to parent them. So you end up having to put up with all sorts of things and the approach encourages you to see yourself as the problem because you aren’t happy with things that your husband or partner is allowing to happen in your house.

In theory, it might work for things that don’t affect you (and, particularly, your children). But in a household, there are far fewer things that really fall into that category than the nacho approach assumes. For example, I don’t care whether my stepchildren eat vegetables. They have parents and they can worry about the lack of nutrients in their children’s diets. And that’s all fine, so long as the stepchildren aren’t actually involved in meals.

Because what actually happens is that I cook meals that they sulk through and make a fuss about because they aren’t all beige. This behaviour affects me and it affects my children. My children have to sit there while their half/stepsiblings behave poorly at the table, which makes the whole meal grim for everyone. They have to eat their vegetables while watching other children being allowed to make a big fuss and not do it. My toddler has to sit there listening to his awful the food is, which counteracts my attempts to encourage him to try food and for mealtimes to be nice, stress free events.

So, yeah, I can only nacho that if I give up any control over my own mealtimes and the circumstances in which my children eat. I have to let the SC’s parents choices (which are that their mother doesn’t give a fuck and just hands out cake and sweets instead, and their father is too lazy to do anything about his children’s behaviour) determine things for all the children in the house. Basically, I give up being able to parent my children in any meaningful way.

That same issue comes up again and again because how some members of the household behave and the ways in which they are treated - preferentially, more leniently, etc - do affect everyone else.

It’s not even like I can say to our toddler: daddy lets his other children be really naughty but we expect you to behave better. Because that would being nasty about the stepchildren.

The problems that nachoing cannot solve are: 1. I need my husband to be consider everyone in the household and parent his children accordingly, rather than just doing whatever is easiest for his divorced dad guilt; and 2. The irreconcilable differences in values and family cultures between the stepchildren’s primary parent and this household (and my husband does not share his ex’s values).

Withdrawing and nachoing makes things worse because I end up hugely resentful that the poor parenting and values the stepchildren are explicitly taught by their mother dominate my household - and influence my children - and my husband is unwilling to act in our interests.

Nachoing cannot solve those problems. And if they weren’t problems, I wouldn’t be looking at nachoing as a possible solution. Instead my husband and I would be able to work as a team and treat all the children in the house similarly.

BeyondOurReef · 10/12/2021 10:33

[quote Vie8126]@SnowWhitesSM you might find when dss gets passed being 8 and into a teen things get easier anyway and are different. You sound like you have older children and boys tend to withdraw and be monosyllabic as teens. I completely get where you're coming from I'm working on myself and my own childhood issues. It's a shame as we 90% of the time communicate really effectively it's the communication around dsd that's the issue dp jumps as soon as any conversation around her and down my throat. I've voiced it let's see what happens. It's not fair as the association of negativity around her is being driven by him. Enjoy your life and working on yourself and see where it takes you don't commit to anything. It's very easy to get lost in each other and let things slide especially when you both have children and other things going on it feels like you have to enjoy every child free moment with each other rather than friends etc. You will be okay I can just tell you got this 😁[/quote]
It sounds like he’s using his defensiveness about his daughter and his ex to shut down any discussion you want to have about your own experience and the needs of your children. That’s a big problem.

You have to be able to discuss the difficulties his ex cause and the negative effects on you and your children.

Tbh, when men behave like this, they actually create the conditions where it is impossible to like their children. Insisting that you don’t like his daughter and dismissing your totally valid concerns about his malicious ex affecting you and your children is not helpful.

Vie8126 · 10/12/2021 11:02

@BeyondOurReef that is exactly what happens. I'm dreading dinner times when contact eventually resumes and our ds is bigger I want him to eat a wide variety of things not plain pasta with mayo every single meal time. They don't listen when you tell them there's an issue I'm not quite sure why we feel they will when we 'nacho' they probably breath a sigh of relief that the 'nagging' or 'moaning' about their DC has stopped and that were on board with their lapse parenting rather than having any actual good.

This is completely where I am at. I feel really apathetic towards him today. Saying my 17 year old can go and live with his father because he feels I don't like his dsd is pathetic and just shows what sort of person he is. It's like the very malicious ex still has a hold because by withholding contact and forcing him down this route of court she stays the topic of conversation. I just wanted him mentally prepped for what MIGHT be to say it's okay we will deal with anything like that because I know she will say something nasty and it will upset him and its ME dealing with the fall out of his feelings and injustices that he feels. Instead I'm accused of making him pick because I'm asking him to stop doing what any normal father would do (I most definately am not) this is the woman that the day after court papers were served I had my tyres slashed and a Stanley blade left in my tyre whilst I drive with a small baby and my children. He thinks the best thing to do is scream and shout at me about my behaviour when NONE of this is my doing but I am caught in the cross fire because 'I don't like dsd' clearly for having concerns about further damaging fallout from her malicious mother.

BeyondOurReef · 10/12/2021 11:58

It sounds really tough @Vie8126.

I have no useful advice, just solidarity really.

I don’t know how you square the circle of incompatible parenting choices - or how you get your partner to stop with the weird cognitive dissonance and admit that he’s treating his children differently. All I know is that holding your hands up and just surrendering any ability to parent your baby in the face of it doesn’t help.

I also have no idea how anyone copes with a partner with a malicious ex. My SC’s mother is less overtly malicious than your partner’s ex sounds, but she’s still a big problem in so many ways. I find it unbelievably frustrating that my husband won’t just admit that we are all living with the consequences of his extremely poor judgement in having children with a woman whose personal values are far from anything either of us think are acceptable, and who is (and has always been) the primary influence on those children.

There’s so little I can do to protect my children from his ex’s poor parenting. There seems to be no way of teaching her children that things are different in this house when she undermines anything we think is important and even actively teaches them things we think are deeply undesirable.

For example, the SC are incredibly demanding. They are never happy with what they have and always want more. They arrive in the house and immediately start demanding things. You can’t walk round a shop without a pretty much constant stream of demands for things. The best we have managed over years is to have converted some of the ‘I want’ into ‘can I have’, but it’s still almost constant that they are asking for things or wanting to know when they’re getting whatever treats he’s promised them (because as far as I can tell every contact ends with him outlining all the things they’ll get when they next come).

He hates it and complains about the almost constant demands. But his ex is explicitly teaching them to be demanding. ‘Shy bairns get nowt’, you know. We spent years trying to unteach them to just demand ‘I want’ at all times (with their mother reinforcing that they should just tell everyone what they want), but still we are struggling against a household where it’s all about how much stuff you can get from other people. The divorced dad guilt and panic that they might decide not to come if they aren’t promise enough stuff and nice trips out (because their mother tells them this is what matters) just reinforce it.

candlelightsatdawn · 10/12/2021 14:31

@Vie8126 I'm not sure how you would even nacho a ex who thinks cutting your tires with a Stanley blade is ok. I'm not sure how your DH can make that your fault either. I have zero advice but just wanted to say that sounds incredibly hard.

I had to have a similar conversation when it was becoming a bit silly that everytime I mentioned this baby, DSC was mentioned, at every bloody single scan, even the awful ones "oh no what about SD how will she take it) every moment baby was mentioned in passing or with friends and even just randomly talking about the baby, the name drop would happen and people where baffled, so one I just lost it. My DH said he felt guilty about DSC no longer being only child (what's my DD potatoes) and I pointed out that if he's not careful he's creating another thing to be guilty over as this baby is a separate living person from DSC and also merging them into one giant blob with two children that are going to be vastly different in age because of his own guilt will damage them both.

I also completely stuck the knife in and said it's changing the way I view him and he may struggle for me to see him the way I used to. I might just add we rarely spoke about the baby due to the medical conditions and mainly because I was pretending I wasn't living in the third circle of hell.

It's improved somewhat but I really had to kick off. So I have zero advice bar the message your entitled to have feelings regardless of what your DP is telling you and anyone with a brain will be able to compute this isn't about Sc so much as choices he made to our you in this sht situation.