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Original poster

Advice re holiday/passport

79 replies

AndSoFinally · 05/09/2021 18:38

My DP has a court ordered CAO. This includes being able to take SS out of the country for a two week holiday and that his passport should be made available in advance. It stated for 2019 and 2020 that the holiday should be in the 6 week summer holidays but doesn't specify after 2020.

We want to take him abroad next Easter before the school holidays. He is 8 so not doing exams or anything. His mum is refusing to let us, first saying she feels the country is too dangerous (it's not, it's an all inclusive resort in Spain) and then saying she doesn't believe in taking him out of school (although his current attendance is around 80% for last year, not including any COVID absence, because she has random days where she just doesn't take him in).

What would be our next steps here? Is it back to court? If we're unable to get a court date before we'd reasonably have to book the holiday, would we have any comeback on her for the cost of the holiday if she prevented him going? Is there any way to find out whether he even has a passport? There's every possibility he doesn't so we could just apply for one

Any advice appreciated

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 05/09/2021 18:49

You should go in school holidays rather than taking him out of school

MrsKeats · 05/09/2021 18:51

I agree with the mum.
Kids have missed enough school.

purplesequins · 05/09/2021 18:52

80% is Shock
he needs to be in school and not miss any more lessons.
go in the holidays.

Original poster
AndSoFinally · 05/09/2021 18:55

We can't afford school holiday prices. It's only a week and he's 8.

Mum could also not afford school holiday prices, or probably even term time prices, so if doesn't come this year that'll be it.

I also suspect her saying we can't go in term time is just an excuse, like Spain being "too dangerous", and that even if it was half term she'd still refuse to give the passport.

Is the only course of action to go back to court? Could we apply for a passport for him or would it have to be sent to mum's address as she is the RP?

OP posts:
negomi90 · 05/09/2021 18:56

Court will not support you taking a child out of school for a holiday.
Book during actual holidays, so that this can then be supported by your existing court order.

dementedpixie · 05/09/2021 18:59

If you can't afford to go in the holidays then maybe you shouldn't go at all.

StarshipsAreMeantToFly · 05/09/2021 19:02

I'm not sure a court will agree to them being taken out of school. You'll have to find a cheaper holiday in holidays.

Ohsoquietchange · 05/09/2021 19:02

Does he have a passport already OP? It’s sent to whoever applies for it… but you do need his Dm passport details to be able to apply for one.
80% attendance is poor, you shouldn’t be taking him out if that is his attendance. Even at 8yrs old that’s poor. 80% is 40 days of education missed in one year, that’s 8 weeks!!!
We are taking our DS out in year for 2 weeks for a holiday, he’s missed 1 day due to sickness in year 1

StarshipsAreMeantToFly · 05/09/2021 19:03

If we're unable to get a court date before we'd reasonably have to book the holiday, would we have any comeback on her for the cost of the holiday if she prevented him going? don't book it until you know he can go.

MadeForThis · 05/09/2021 19:07

80% is shockingly low. In my school that would be 38 days absence.

I would prioritise his education and not take him out of school any extra days.

Cabinfever10 · 05/09/2021 19:10

Also if you take him for 2 weeks at Easter his mum doesn't get to see him in the holidays at all this is neither fair or reasonable. As for taking him out of school are you going to pay the fine?
Simply put no judge is going to rule in your favour book a holiday in the summer holidays

gettingolderbutcooler · 05/09/2021 19:11

80% attendance is absolutely dire.

OmgIcantbelieveshedidit · 05/09/2021 19:12

@AndSoFinally

We can't afford school holiday prices. It's only a week and he's 8.

Mum could also not afford school holiday prices, or probably even term time prices, so if doesn't come this year that'll be it.

I also suspect her saying we can't go in term time is just an excuse, like Spain being "too dangerous", and that even if it was half term she'd still refuse to give the passport.

Is the only course of action to go back to court? Could we apply for a passport for him or would it have to be sent to mum's address as she is the RP?

Tough shit.

Absolutely not. Mum is right.

A court will agree -so knock yourself out applying.

Spain probably is too dangerous for her and her views at the moment with Covid -he's not vaccinated.

Fortunately my ex although a twat agrees with me that France was out of the question this year.

Mum might not be vaccinated for a variety of reasons. I'm double jabbed and on steriods -for example -so no immune system.

Go on a camping holiday in the UK DURING the holiday.

SoupDragon · 05/09/2021 19:16

We can't afford school holiday prices

Then you have to find somewhere you can afford to go in school holidays.

Partey · 05/09/2021 19:16

My DS attendance last year was 82%, he had an illness so it was warranted and authorised. There’s absolutely no way I’d take him out of school after that, and I’d be prepared to fight his father in court to stop him too.

You lose ALOT of credibility with the timing- I v much a doubt anyone would support you

OmgIcantbelieveshedidit · 05/09/2021 19:17

Also it's not do 'WE' take her to court. There is no we. You are not a parent of this child. It's him. He's the father. But he will get nowhere except maybe laughed out of court.

As for then wanting compensation for any holiday you book now- if he can't go due to broken ankle, covid, etc........I'm just gobsmacked. You can't buy stupid.
Work with her not against her.
You can't apply for a passport without her consent. And you'd need her passport number etc.

Hoppinggreen · 05/09/2021 19:18

You want a court order to take a child out of school for an unnecessary holiday when their attendance is only 80% as it is?
That’s nuts
I appreciate you may feel that the child’s mum may not have the best motives for the refusal but she is actually right

Hapoydayz · 05/09/2021 19:19

You can't take him out of school that is a terrible idea. You need to think of the child not yourself

Partey · 05/09/2021 19:20

And I’d suggest if Mum just randomly didn’t take her son to school to that extent there’d have been action taken already.

I don’t buy it at all

lunar1 · 05/09/2021 19:21

He should be addressing the fact that his son has missed 20% of his schooling on top of Covid, not using that as a rational to miss more.

Why is his mum randomly keeping him home for no reason and how is that being dealt with?

KylieKoKo · 05/09/2021 19:44

I can't believe that his dad is even contemplating taking him out of school for a holiday if his attendance is already so low. And if his mum just keeps him off school when she fancies it then why hasn't the dad stepped in?

If we're unable to get a court date before we'd reasonably have to book the holiday, would we have any comeback on her for the cost of the holiday if she prevented him going?

Of course not. Why do you think a court would look favourably on you wanting to take a child out of school?

Original poster
AndSoFinally · 05/09/2021 20:18

Just to answer a few things:

  1. DP has raised the attendance with the school. They were on the cusp of informing the educational welfare officer but decided against because "it's been a difficult year"
  1. It just feels mean to leave him behind when we're taking the rest of the family.
  1. This is likely to be his only trip abroad until he's an adult and able to afford his own holidays. I don't think there are many kids who will never get to go abroad as a child are there?
  1. Yes, we'd pay the fine if there was one
  1. She's not worried about COVID in Spain, she claims she's worried about terrorism.

I do see what you're all saying, and I'm grateful for the perspective, but I can't help feel that this is just refusing for the sake of it. She doesn't really seem to care about SS, just about scoring points over DP. It's a horrible thing to say about someone but this is just one issue in a series of many.

OP posts:
Pebbledashery · 05/09/2021 20:23

I think you're being a bit unreasonable wanting to take him out of school to go on holiday.. I had a friend apply for a specific issue order for the exact same reason, holiday in term time, dad refused.. Don't know what she expected but her application was refused and she was told it'd be granted during non term time.
Also, if he already has a passport then you won't be able to apply for a new one. As far as I'm aware, either parent can apply for one though.

Milkbottlelegs · 05/09/2021 20:27

Wow. You need a reality check.

No court in the land is going to grant approval for you to take him out of school. What planet are you on?!

And yes, there are plenty of kids that don’t ever go abroad. I was one of them and I’ve turned out just fine.

Who is the rest of the family that will be going? If you think it’s important he joins the holiday why on earth wouldn’t you be planning something for the school holidays?

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/09/2021 20:42

This is likely to be his only trip abroad until he's an adult and able to afford his own holidays.

Why?

I don't think there are many kids who will never get to go abroad as a child are there?

Yes of course there are. It’s not compulsory or essential and I’m sure you’re aware loads of people can’t afford to holiday in the U.K., never mind abroad.

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