Nursery for new baby, takes away bedroom for DSS

[Biffasum11]

Hi All,

Just need some advice from those that have maybe been in my shoes. Me and my husband have been married 3 years and are now expecting our first baby together. My husband has a dauggter with another woman who is almost 7. I have been in DSD life since she was two. We live in a three bed semi and saved to buy it. Currently we have our master bedroom , our spare room that is my dressing room/ DSD room when she's here. She's is here once a month for the weekend due to distance. Her mum moved 300 miles away when she was 1 year old. Our third bedroom is a box room and is now an office due to me working from home. We only have a small lounge dinner and very small kitchen so I needed a dedicated work space. Now my baby arrival is fairly soon. I would love a nursery I have always envisioned a lovely space with a rocking chair and a cot with all their little bits. Realistically we do need the spare room space for the baby as our living space would be too small and cluttered to keep everything there. But this would mean DSD has no room at ours and would need to sleep on a blowup bed or on the sofa. I do feel awful but at the same time I would love to have a decorated nursery. We can't move right now as would mean paying large sum for early repayment for our fixed rate. And just makes little sense to throw away thousands and we wouldn't get a four bed for what we could afford once we pay those charges. Plus when it's just us two house size is no issue. Should I feel like I'm just evil ? Husband seems fine to make me a nursery and doesn't seem to have any guilt so should I just enjoy it and not overhthink?

A rite of passage...FFS. For who exactly? Your baby won't give a shit! Oh yeah, it's for you. You should have thought of all of this before you had a baby in a house that 'obviously' can't accommodate everyone.

Nursery for child there 100% of the time.

Box room for Stepchild with desk in so you can also use as office

@user47000000000

Nursery for child there 100% of the time.

Box room for Stepchild with desk in so you can also use as office

Your box room’s a lot bigger than ours. Once you’ve got a single bed and a bedside table in that’s your lot

They do vary - there's room for a single bed, desk and under bed cupboard thing in ours. Or maybe OP could consider a high sleeper w desk beneath?

@Porcupineintherough

They do vary - there's room for a single bed, desk and under bed cupboard thing in ours. Or maybe OP could consider a high sleeper w desk beneath?

She's already said no to this idea, as it would make her feel like Harry Potter under the stairs 🙄 yet the couch or a camp bed is good enough for her stepdaughter. I honestly hope the OP is fake.

@Porcupineintherough

They do vary - there's room for a single bed, desk and under bed cupboard thing in ours. Or maybe OP could consider a high sleeper w desk beneath?

She won't as she is not Harry Potter.

@Blossomtoes op does have the room of SD shared with office for time being ... and I would struggle to fine any first time mom to not want to do up a nursery?

[quote mommabear2386]@Blossomtoes op does have the room of SD shared with office for time being ... and I would struggle to fine any first time mom to not want to do up a nursery? [/quote]
Not entirely sure why I’ve been singled out 🤷‍♀️

She hasn’t got room for a nursery and a dressing room and an office, something’s got to give. It shouldn’t be her stepdaughter’s space. Who uses nurseries anyway? Babies sleep with their parents.

Okay, well you’ve said you would find this totally acceptable for your own child so that’s the appropriate solution. Once a month, your child can move downstairs and sleep on the couch when she’s old enough, and stepdaughter can have her room. After all, she will have her own room for the rest of the month and it doesn’t matter as long as she’s clean, loved and fed.

@mommabear2386 you'll definitely find a few if you ask around. Some don't have the time or inclination, some don't have the cash, some (like the OP) don't have the space and others (like me) just don't see the need.

To me it's just a bedroom, ours shared the room with us until 1 year and 3 years old then we painted it in a colour they both liked and used wall stickers/posters to decorate their own areas (2 bedroom house, 6 year gap, boy/girl).

It didn't take much effort and meant it didn't need decorated twice when the baby had outgrown the nursery theme.

Speaking of Harry Potter, you may want to get your stepdaughter the book. There’s a very funny passage where it’s explained that the spoiled cousin Dudley has a whole ‘toy room’ for all his toys while Harry sleeps downstairs…

Although that may make her jealous as Harry did have a whole cupboard to himself.

Okay, well you’ve said you would find this totally acceptable for your own child so that’s the appropriate solution. Once a month, your child can move downstairs and sleep on the couch when she’s old enough, and stepdaughter can have her room. After all, she will have her own room for the rest of the month and it doesn’t matter as long as she’s clean, loved and fed

This!

@Biffasum11

I do think having a nursery is a rite of passage it will be a place for not just the baby but me aswell. We live in a town house and so so have limited living space. DSD simply isn't here long enough to have a room dedicated to her. The room she has now is the guest room technically and where I get changed and get ready. So changing that to a bed that we can manoeuvre isnt that radical. Holidays she comes for a few extra days and we go on holiday mostly. On holiday we cannot afford a spectate room ... sorry guys and girls. I felt bad but reading these comments I just feel sad to be honest. I can't give everyone everything and it's the dad that has to insist really not me. If it was my child I wouldn't find this crazy so long as they are treated with love and fed and had a good time... what more is necessary

So the guest room which you share with her with clothes etx

Can now be the children’s bedroom

Remove double bed and replace with cot and single

Or a high rise top bunk bed and cot under

Problem solved @Biffasum11

@Kanaloa

Okay, well you’ve said you would find this totally acceptable for your own child so that’s the appropriate solution. Once a month, your child can move downstairs and sleep on the couch when she’s old enough, and stepdaughter can have her room. After all, she will have her own room for the rest of the month and it doesn’t matter as long as she’s clean, loved and fed.

@Kanaloa 😂 but true

Tho in that time they would have moved to 4 bed room

@Kanaloa

Okay, well you’ve said you would find this totally acceptable for your own child so that’s the appropriate solution. Once a month, your child can move downstairs and sleep on the couch when she’s old enough, and stepdaughter can have her room. After all, she will have her own room for the rest of the month and it doesn’t matter as long as she’s clean, loved and fed.

Ok… baby in nursery.

Chair bed and small desk as office with foldaway table if you need more desk space. Then make up the bed for stepchild when they’re there and you work elsewhere….

If you google chairbeds there are some nice ones. Put picture shelves up and you can have your stuff up and switch once a month when stepchild is there so they always feel it’s “their” room

@Kanaloa

Okay, well you’ve said you would find this totally acceptable for your own child so that’s the appropriate solution. Once a month, your child can move downstairs and sleep on the couch when she’s old enough, and stepdaughter can have her room. After all, she will have her own room for the rest of the month and it doesn’t matter as long as she’s clean, loved and fed.

Well put!

Do you get it now, @Biffasum11?

@WhereYouLeftIt , I don't think she does! I'm actually impressed she's brave enough to come back and update 99% of the posters who say she's being unreasonable, saying that she isn't..

[quote mommabear2386]@Blossomtoes op does have the room of SD shared with office for time being ... and I would struggle to fine any first time mom to not want to do up a nursery? [/quote]
I didn't do up a nursery with either of mine. Seemed kind of pointless - I redecorated their rooms once they were toddlers and I knew what sorts of things they liked.

I hope you're planning on telling her mum what the plan is. No way would I be sending my child all that way every month to stay with a father who doesn't deem her important enough to even give her a proper bed. Poor kid

Feels like a 'clickbait' thread to attract traffic to the page and advertising revenue.

If it's not could you put your office under the stairs @Biffasum11

@Biffasum11

I do think having a nursery is a rite of passage it will be a place for not just the baby but me aswell. We live in a town house and so so have limited living space. DSD simply isn't here long enough to have a room dedicated to her. The room she has now is the guest room technically and where I get changed and get ready. So changing that to a bed that we can manoeuvre isnt that radical. Holidays she comes for a few extra days and we go on holiday mostly. On holiday we cannot afford a spectate room ... sorry guys and girls. I felt bad but reading these comments I just feel sad to be honest. I can't give everyone everything and it's the dad that has to insist really not me. If it was my child I wouldn't find this crazy so long as they are treated with love and fed and had a good time... what more is necessary

Limited living space? YOU HAVE A DRESSING ROOM, STUDY AND BEDROOM. You crazy lady.

@Kanaloa

Okay, well you’ve said you would find this totally acceptable for your own child so that’s the appropriate solution. Once a month, your child can move downstairs and sleep on the couch when she’s old enough, and stepdaughter can have her room. After all, she will have her own room for the rest of the month and it doesn’t matter as long as she’s clean, loved and fed.

Exactly

OP personally I would just put a permanent single bed in rather than a temporary one (this would be useful for guests and you and DH on rough nights with baby as well.) And I would also think it far better to put your office in that room with her, rather than have the two kids share, as personally I'd always avoid this with a baby if I could, sounds like it will cause much more disturbance in the night with the other child also waking.

But I do think it's much better to get the fold out bed, as you've suggested, than to make her sleep on the sofa downstairs. I think that is a definite improvement on the original plan.

I'm going to start the nursery this month and do some measuring a sofa bed may fit in the office if I get a new desk. I don't want a 2 year old in our room, not when there will be empty rooms in the house. That just doesn't make sense to me. 6 months yes and then start transisitioning to the cot.