Saving for children in step family

[Canbeatteaandtoast]

I have been with my dp for 4 years and looking to get married next year. We are 40 and 42. Our children from our first marriages are between 6-10, we have 2 each. My family are very well off and I own a share in a successful business although do not work much and have a low income. I do however own my house outright and have other houses rented out. My plan with my dc would be for me to give them a large deposit to buy their own home when they reach 21 and pay for their universities.
So once married my dp is happy to share his large salaried income with me but doesn’t have the same amount of property, about 1/10th of what I have in equity. Should I plan for doing the same for his children as I plan for mine seeing as he is willing to “share” his wages with me? Not that I need it, I’m very comfortable financially without the extra wages. He currently lives in my house with his dc who I think the world of. I am in 2 minds because I don’t want them to feel excluded anyway but his exw is fairly well off so they may get lots of her anyway, whereas mine won’t get anything of their dad.

Yeah I wouldn't marry either in your situation. I have a good salary and currently saving everything I can to buy a place. Two children. No way I'd ever marry someone who didn't have roughly the same assets/savings I have.

I'd also be concerned about no savings despite earning well. That suggests he isn't careful with money and you don't want him being careless with your assets.

If you have to marry protect your assets, but I really wouldn't. His children are not your responsibility. You can choose to be generous if you want, but getting married means you don't get a say in how your wealth is shared. I think it's fair if your children get the lion's share of your assets.

[quote MishaHarrow]@Bibidy

No, there are not. I guess it does complicate the situation somewhat. Tbh, perhaps in such situations marriage isnt appropriate for either party.

But having said that, if re marrying, wouldnt you want to marry someone who treated your kids as their own, and vice versa?[/quote]
I think you're right, a lot of the time marriage isn't appropriate when there are stepchildren involved, and it becomes even harder where the couple go on to share another child together.

No, I wouldn't expect someone to treat my kids as their own in terms of this kind of thing - I would expect them to be kind and friendly but I don't think that being in a relationship with someone makes their children your children in any way.