DP EX always asking for more money !

[CocoLady]

Due to pandemic job losses etc DP recently had to get new job and take a pay cut, had to lower maintenance by £40 a month. His is living day by day and on not even on the bread line, in Csa his new lower salary says the new amount he has to give and He gives his ex a few hundred a month for his child. She has recently been demanding every week for new clothes for his child as keeps growing out of them etc, he explained he's sorry and he literally cannot afford anymore and said he gives her the right amount anyway. Do any of you have ex's they do this ? Should she just manage and buy the clothes out of the maintenance she gets as surely it's there for that ?
Thanks

@EnoughnowIthink the data you are using as @SpongebobNoPants is suggesting is highly skewed and bias due to its source and fits with the narrative that matches your anecdotal evidence. We both have anecdotal evidence to the contrary and that is supported by the gov data, which would have to be taken as being fairly neural, that takes into account all those claims via CMS and is at 74% but does not include a large number of privately arranged maintenance between parents. I really am sick of all being tarred with the same brush. The majority do pay and look after their children. But the small minority who don't, quite rightfully, get highlighted, but sadly made out to be commonplace which is just not true.

Oh well, that’s me told. Feel better?

Millions unpaid, written off, no,political,will,to change it....but hey ho, not a problem.

You're taking it as a personal attack which it is not and I certainly emphasise with your situation - it is shit and unfair to your children but the data does not support it as being the majority. There are so many issues within the child maintenance and family court system that need unravelling and systematically mending but it will be an extremely long task and sadly only small steps have been taken in recent years. Noone is saying there isn't a problem, but rather trying to look objectively at a fundamentally flawed system- that affects RP and NRP alike.

@EnoughnowIthink I don’t doubt there is a lot of unpaid maintenance, some NRP’s behave appallingly.
All I was pointing out is that the data source is obviously going to be biased. Without doing a national survey off all single parents we’ll never know the true figure, but I sincerely doubt it is as high as the figures gingerbread has suggested that’s all.
Most maintenance from my personal experience isn’t paid via CMS as that’s viewed as a last resort and the majority are private arrangements.

I do think that deliberate non-payment or avoidance of child maintenance should be criminalised in the U.K. like it is in other countries. It’s shocking that there are no repercussions for those who shirk their responsibility.

Also @EnoughnowIthink just to add that I completely sympathise with your situation. I receive not a single penny for my DD as her father is Australian and he moved back there.

"74% of parents due to pay child maintenance through the Collect and Pay service paid some maintenance in the quarter ending June 2020. This is an increase from 68% in the quarter ending March 2020 but should be viewed with caution. The compliance rate has been inflated this quarter as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. Between 10 April and 9 May 2020, all deductions from Universal Credit (UC) were temporarily paused and the Government paid all child maintenance liabilities for parents paying via deductions from UC."
@Sayitaintsoiwillnotgo
The data you think is accurate for CMS says itself it is inflated.
Its also based on NRP's paying "some" maintenance. Not REGULARLY paying maintenance.
They have been screwing the figures for years wiping payments owed to RPs.
There are no figures for NRPs paying IN FULL and ON TIME.
The data you have shared is absolute nonsense!

Didn't rtft. But seems to me how reasonable or unreasonable the ex is depends on her practicality.

• is she financially struggling ?
• is she using her money reasonably (not living above her means) ?
• does she buy branded new clothes or does she get second hand cheap stuff ?

If she is doing what she can to reduce costs and still struggling it's not unreasonable to ask your DP for help. If he doesn't have money, it's not unreasonable to tell her he can't pay more. In this case the only way forward is for them both to sit down, work out what needs paying, what's urgent, what can wait, and work out how to pay for it. Together.