I'm a wicked step mother because...

[FleaBagLarry]

There have been a few refreshing threads on here recently where some of us have been a bit more honest about how we actually feel!

In light of this, in what ways are you the stereotypical 'evil step mother'?

It got me thinking before, in my case, I'm the evil step mother because my DSC are isolating for 2 weeks and as much as we get on, I'm bloody enjoying the break! I'm looking forward to it being over for DHs sake but for me selfishly, it's been quite nice having a couple of weeks to ourselves. (We usually have the DC 50:50).

I know it's absolutely appalling that I haven't been sat in a darkened room sobbing the entire time! So shoot me 🤷

No one has Covid, no one is ill, just isolating before anyone suggests I don't care they are poorly.

Cross posted @Youseethethingis!

@PastaPins

Tit for tat really? Who is the adult?

Haha that's exactly the point! In a few short months he will be an adult, and until recently was rude and couldn't do anything for himself. This is working, albeit slowly. I have no regrets.

Sorry everyone on this thread I won't be posting again, I can see my subject is a bit detailing. I've never understood why it's okay for parents to punish by withholding treats but not us though. My last thing to point out is that DP fully supports everything I'm doing, and suggested lots of it himself!

@PastaPins

Tit for tat really? Who is the adult?

Not tit for tat- why reward rude, entitled behaviour?

Because he was afraid of upsetting her. She was bullying in her ways and he was the perpetual victim. Each terrified of being left.
The grown up children do now call him out on his present and past behaviour and he does have the decency to listen and acknowledge. She sweeps all under the carpet.

[quote aSofaNearYou]@PersevercencePays she sounds very stressful, but still, the main thing that struck me from your post was that all of those things were your exes responsibility. Why wasn't he dealing with them?[/quote]
Sorry, answered without the quote. Because she bullied and he cowered. Each terrified of the other leaving.

@LindaEllen please keep us informed and ignore the goady toady.

[quote Wallywobbles]@LindaEllen please keep us informed and ignore the goady toady. [/quote]
Yes do.

One of the best things about this thread has been that there is a sense of SMs being able to work together to consistently counter the ‘poor children’/‘you knew what you were getting in to’/‘package deal’/‘the SC always come first’ posters.

That’s a big change in this stepparenting board.

Just an update for everyone.
DSD has been good as good so she helped to bath her half brother today. Fun was had.
Her room is still a disgusting shit tip, but I’m back to just shutting the door on it and won’t be offering my help again.

@Youseethethingis don't you mean she helped bathe her step grandparents grandson?! 😂🙈

Think I’ll need to draw a diagram and get back to you 🤣

because our house is MUCH happier, more fun, more relaxed and DP is happier and more fun while they are not here

I'm a wicked step parent as I loaned my dsc a laptop to take to their mums as they need one for school work and dp /ew were not sorting it. Not one word of thanks from any of the adults or children involved.
I am trying to be the bigger person and not ask for the thing back. I got raised eyebrows as I called them up on it and said it was rude.
I certainly won't be lending anything of mine again if that's the attitude of everyone else.

I was called names on a thread here and my dp ripped apart because i slagged off dps ex because shes a literal kidnapper and user. But me and dp are the evil cunts because i dared slag her off on an online forum

Because my stepsons mother is a manipulative cunt who's brainwashed her son against us and his siblings. All because she's jelous my dh left her all those years ago. Spiteful.

Because I ask her to take care of her personal hygiene. The smell is offensive and I'm desperate for her to stop being bullied. But according to ss that means I'm in a cult (I kid you not)

I'm a wicked stepmother because when DP's ex recently told him I should 'step up' to provide childcare, I pointed out that I work full time and it was their joint decision to have children, not mine! I'm not going part-time because they can't sort out visitation nicely amongst themselves. This is the same woman who told DP that if I want to be a parent, I should get my own children. Last I checked, DSD still isn't my biological child, as is a requirement, so I will not be stepping up anywhere!

@MyGodImSoYoung

I'm a wicked stepmother because when DP's ex recently told him I should 'step up' to provide childcare, I pointed out that I work full time and it was their joint decision to have children, not mine! I'm not going part-time because they can't sort out visitation nicely amongst themselves. This is the same woman who told DP that if I want to be a parent, I should get my own children. Last I checked, DSD still isn't my biological child, as is a requirement, so I will not be stepping up anywhere!

Good for you! Don't allow them to take the piss out of you. It's such a double standard. Constantly reminded you're not their mum - apart from when they need you to do something!

@LindaEllen Thank you! You can never win; I don't want to be their mum, but I don't deserve to be taken for granted either. No step-mum does!

I absolutely love the way that you have responded to your DSS's attitude towards you; really admirable. Ignore the posters who clearly think a 17 year old should still be treated like a toddler x

I'm an evil stepmother because whilst I have always been kind a d welcoming to oh's dc, I will never love them

Also, we go on Monday to Friday breaks with the toddler. I want to spend my time off work with my child

For refusing to allow a 8 year old to stay up till 11pm, watch 15 rated movies and live off chicken nuggets and J2o's.....
In my house there is bed time, boundaries, set meal times and you respect them...I sound like a dictator I know... but I have my own kids too and they do well with routine so thats what happens in my house 🤣 for that I got the whole "shes taking over your bond with your daughter" "how dare you allow her to tell your daughter what she can and can't do....nothing I do is okay but I'm the first one that gets called when she needs a babysitter... I'm not allowed to pick her up or drop her off home ...but I'm allowed to look after her three nights a week, feed her, clothe her, do homework and all the rest.... honestly the list is endless...I'm just an awful person all round apparently 🙃

@LindaEllen sorry you’ve felt you’ve had to leave. I think your approach to your step son is thoughtful and responsible - I’m sorry about the trolls...

[quote DeusEx]@LindaEllen sorry you’ve felt you’ve had to leave. I think your approach to your step son is thoughtful and responsible - I’m sorry about the trolls...[/quote]
Ah it's okay I'm still here. I need more of a backbone haha.

All is well here to be fair. Conflict at a minimum, all rubbing along nicely.

It's a strange time as he's 18 in a few months, so we're moving from adults with a child to a 3 adult household - and although he will be given more slack, he will also be expected to be more responsible too!

But everything we've been doing has made things better, and DSS is surprisingly okay with it now he's used to the various things he's now expected to do for himself ☺️.

I’m a wicked step mother because when DSS stole some money off me, his mum kept hold of it and I DARED to ask for it back

@TheBadElfParade

I’m a wicked step mother because when DSS stole some money off me, his mum kept hold of it and I DARED to ask for it back

I read this thread. Barmy the stick you were getting!