I'm a wicked step mother because...

[FleaBagLarry]

There have been a few refreshing threads on here recently where some of us have been a bit more honest about how we actually feel!

In light of this, in what ways are you the stereotypical 'evil step mother'?

It got me thinking before, in my case, I'm the evil step mother because my DSC are isolating for 2 weeks and as much as we get on, I'm bloody enjoying the break! I'm looking forward to it being over for DHs sake but for me selfishly, it's been quite nice having a couple of weeks to ourselves. (We usually have the DC 50:50).

I know it's absolutely appalling that I haven't been sat in a darkened room sobbing the entire time! So shoot me 🤷

No one has Covid, no one is ill, just isolating before anyone suggests I don't care they are poorly.

No. This thread has really made me see that I wasn't unreasonable for feeling the way I did when I was growing up.

I'm just talking about the other side of the coin on my 'TAAT'

@LouJ85

Oh mine, every night I am not there, OH and I am evil when I object to getting into a bed that smells of stale sweat, because SS has not showered for a week.....at 13, because Daddyyyy can't possibly TELL SS to get in the shower as that would make Daddyyyyy uncool. FFS

Sorry... what? Please do not tell me that your partner co sleeps with his 13 year old teenage boy? What in the name .........

Yes we are LAT so some nights I stay home to give them 'boys nights' and SS always sleeps with OH. What is making me even more uncomfortable is I have just discovered that when I do stay over and leave early the next morning for work, SS will set his alarm for when I get up so that he can have an hour in bed with Daddyyy before he goes to school. dear oh dear oh dear..... (separation anxiety at its finest)

What is making me even more uncomfortable is I have just discovered that when I do stay over and leave early the next morning for work, SS will set his alarm for when I get up so that he can have an hour in bed with Daddyyy before he goes to school.

And this boy is 13? Not 3...... but 13?

Yes it's not a typo unfortunately, he is 13

@katie9998 that is WEIRD. yadnbu to be creeped out by this...

I am a wicked stepmother as when SD comes tomorrow for a night I will hide ALL of my DS's Xmas chocolates and all my favourites overnight. I have no problem sharing them in the day but she will wake up at 5am, go downstairs and absolutely raid the cupboards.

Dreading this week, he is bad enough on a weekend but he is Disney Dad on steriods at Xmas.

@SuperPixie247

I am a wicked stepmother as when SD comes tomorrow for a night I will hide ALL of my DS's Xmas chocolates and all my favourites overnight. I have no problem sharing them in the day but she will wake up at 5am, go downstairs and absolutely raid the cupboards.

Dreading this week, he is bad enough on a weekend but he is Disney Dad on steriods at Xmas.

@SuperPixie247 but he is Disney Dad on steriods at Xmas.

Hilarious...... but very true

Things are okay with DSS at the moment. The space over Christmas while he was at his mums seemed to calm things down a bit.

However he has been surprised that I have stuck to the 'you're not my mum' thing.

He looked at me in absolute disbelief when I told him his jeans weren't clean because he hadn't washed them. Yes, I meant what I said!

Again when he asked me could he have a hot chocolate. I said yes no problem and there's some marshmallows too. He sat down on the sofa (expecting me to jump up and make it for him). I joked saying it's never going to get made if you're sat there, and he looked at me strangely, and slowly got up and went to the kitchen. He had to ask me about 30 questions, but he did it.

Tbh this started out because I thought how dare you throw the 'you're not my mum' card at me when I've done everything I could to act like one - at least a temporary one while he isn't here - for years. But now I think it's definitely time for him to learn, as he's off to uni this year and can't bloody arrive unable to even make a brew!!

While *she isn't here, sorry.

Good for you @LindaEllen.
He’s certainly old enough to get on with these things himself. Hopefully he’s learned a couple of lessons here.

What is making me even more uncomfortable is I have just discovered that when I do stay over and leave early the next morning for work, SS will set his alarm for when I get up so that he can have an hour in bed with Daddyyy before he goes to school
That is so icky! One of my earliest Wicked Stepmother moments was telling then DP that I didn’t want DSD in my bed after I’d gone to work for two reasons:

• I don’t like my bed smelling of Someone Else’s Child. DSD smells lovely but very strongly of whatever DPs ex washes and conditions her hair and clothes with. It’s a territorial thing I’m afraid but there we are.
• I didn’t want DSD to get in her head that she should really be the one in the big bed with Daddy if only Yousee wasn’t around. Better she’s just not allowed in Daddy’s bed full stop, and gets her cuddles in her own bed or on the sofa.

Because I had dsc for 2 month lock down when mum sat on her arse and dh worked. Have dsc even weekends dh works. One weekend I said if he working I’d like to have it with just my own children to go somewhere as no room in car for us all. Then doh mother sent child here with a bad cold and dh said he should have been told as can’t mix houses if dsc sick, Dom went ballistic and said dsc your child you are entitled to have her if she has COVID or not and dh said he wouldn’t send dsc there if got sick in our house. The Dm said yes you would as she (me) won’t have her if he working. It was one weekend missed out of her 10 years 😒 that makes me evil 🦹‍♀️

This is the best thread ever! I have found my people!

I dont look forward to DSC coming to visit. We dont have rooms for them so they live in the lounge which means a no go zone for me
DH waits on them hand and foot and expects me to do same
It used to really stress me out until I decided fck it I wasn't going to tidy up after them, buy them their favourite foods, order takeaways or get them clothes. They never once said thank you to me and I realised DH thought weekends were great because I was covering all the hard work.

I’be been wicked again. I’ve encouraged/asked DSD to tidy her room a bit today, totally ignored and third time I went in with a bin bag and told her to start with the sweetie wrappers etc.
She turned on the water works and wouldn’t eat her dinner.
She then asks to help me bath DS, told her no (if it’s been decided she doesn’t need to listen to a word i say then that’s fine but she can’t be trusted to listen to instructions when it comes to my toddlers safety either 🤷‍♀️) and she cried again.
So now she and DH are, at this very second, crashing around trying to carve out some space to move in there, and space on the bed too, when it could have been sorted hours ago.
She’s 9 and apparently incapable of even very basic tasks such as tidying her own room.

Am I the only one hoping @LindaEllen will come back with a new update on how dss is managing?

It has really been the most eye opening read. Shame I didn't have this example many years ago. I could have learned a lot.

I’m the wicked stepmother today because it’s my SD’s 16th birthday on Thursday and her dad and u have refused her (ridiculous) request for £600 trainers as a present
Mum doesn’t work so it would be down to us to contribute at least £500 towards them... so we said no the limit is £200 (so a £300 present including mum’s contribution) which is more than adequate for a birthday present.

Apparently it must be me putting my foot down, it couldn’t possibly be her dad saying no... so now it’s all my fault.

Also both mum and daughter are taking great pleasure and calling me selfish for daring to buy a few Easter decorations for the house which I saw in the sale last week. I should have apparently put all of my spare money towards the expensive trainers.

I am a wicked stepmother for stating that one weekend in 52 the dsc can't come as I have an exam for a professional qualification on the Monday and need the time to study. I sked for this 6 mths ago when I started studies and everyone forgot. I reminded them today that's its a no as I need the quiet time, they can come the weekend before or after or even both as I really don't mind.
Grrrr
Grrrrr

"
Also both mum and daughter are taking great pleasure and calling me selfish for daring to buy a few Easter decorations for the house which I saw in the sale last week. I should have apparently put all of my spare money towards the expensive trainers."

I've had this too. As well as a request for a review in maintenance money when I arrived on the scene. DSS has told me about the conversation's that have happened in their house where I've been called "selfish"

@Dollyparton3 oh we’ve had that too. Never mind the fact I have 2 of my own children from a previous relationship, all of my money should be directed towards my SCs and not my own biological DCs

I’m the wicked stepmother because I’ve made it clear to dh that I’m not happy about 2 of my sdc living full time with us for over a 1 year due to (allegedly) their mum dumping them on us in our small 3 bed flat whilst mum goes back to her country of origin. Mum has not seen them for over a year and dh refuses to facilitate any contact between them. Also we have a ds aged 3 and both work full time, you can imagine what our flat is like during lockdown. Really p d off with dh for not allowing the three of us any time alone without the dsc in our faces 24 7. Do not like dsc snd im sure it’s reciprocal as their mother hates me. Has destroyed our marital relationship and was holding out dsd going to uni in September to change the dynamics and let me have my space and time with dh. Honestly hate my life most of the time.

when I moved in with my DH, my SS’s mum thought she was entitled to more maintenance because of my wage and not just a little bit, she thought she was entitled to double 😂

I spoil the boys whenever I can when they are here 😁

I’be been wicked again. I’ve encouraged/asked DSD to tidy her room a bit today, totally ignored and third time I went in with a bin bag and told her to start with the sweetie wrappers etc.
She turned on the water works and wouldn’t eat her dinner.
She then asks to help me bath DS, told her no (if it’s been decided she doesn’t need to listen to a word i say then that’s fine but she can’t be trusted to listen to instructions when it comes to my toddlers safety either 🤷‍♀️) and she cried again.
So now she and DH are, at this very second, crashing around trying to carve out some space to move in there, and space on the bed too, when it could have been sorted hours ago.
She’s 9 and apparently incapable of even very basic tasks such as tidying her own room. hmm

Poor little girl I have a 9yo dd and I’d be horrified to think of someone treating her like that.

oh, and “my toddler” - you mean her brother? Have you heard yourself?

I'm not sure how getting a 9 year old to tidy her room is mean!! You'd think I'm a monster as 3rd time of asking here leads to a tech ban here untill it's done. Even the 2 year old tries badly to make his bed.

Also it's scary with a young toddler I spent my life until recently trying to keep lol doll bits and lego away from my little one despite repeated telling it could kill him to leave bits everywhere and to keep them to their rooms where the doors can be shut.