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Original poster

Redundancy and Child Maintenance

999 replies

TazSyd · 08/06/2020 12:23

DP is currently furloughed and found out last week that he is at risk of redundancy. He has been expecting this and thinks that there is a high chance that he will be made redundant. He’s been there less than 2 years, so will only be paid 1 month notice and accrued holiday pay. As he lives with me he will only be entitled to £75 a week contributions based benefits.

We have a DD together and he also has another daughter who lives with her mum but stays with us 2 nights a week (in normal times). One weeknight and also on a Friday night and Saturday day - we pick her up from school on Friday and drop her back at her mum’s after dinner on a Saturday. As DP has been furloughed, we (well he, as I have been working from home so haven’t done much childcare during the day for either DD or DSD) have been having her more often - more like a 50/50 split. Despite his drop in income and the increase in childcare, he hasn’t reduced the maintenance he pays to his ex.

I’ve spoken to a couple of recruiter friends and they’ve said that the employment market has picked up a bit but realistically they aren’t expecting it to pick up properly until September. So DP could well be unemployed for a few months.

DP will pay £7 per week out of his JSA to his ex but this is a lot less than he currently pays (£300 per month). I know I have no legal responsibility for DSD but should I top up the maintenance to DPs ex?

OP posts:
noyoucannotcomein · 08/06/2020 14:36

As DP has just pointed out, if we take DSD for another day and night per week, DPs ex will be obliged to pay us maintenance .

I thought you only had her two nights per week usually?

Original poster
TazSyd · 08/06/2020 14:38

We do usually, but at the moment we are having her from Tuesday eve to Thurs eve and Fri eve to Sat eve. So 3 days and 3 nights. We’ve been doing this since lockdown started and DP got furloughed.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 08/06/2020 14:38

50:50 would be 7 overnights per fortnight...

Does DSD live local? Would it save on travel costs if she stayed Tues - Sat some weeks or would DSD not cope without seeing her Mum?

Original poster
TazSyd · 08/06/2020 14:41

He still has at least another months maintenance to be paid, then £7 a week.

Yes and this is why we want to tell her tomorrow, so she has time to plan. We only found out about the redundancy last week, although we had a feeling it would happen.

OP posts:
Original poster
TazSyd · 08/06/2020 14:42

@RandomMess

50:50 would be 7 overnights per fortnight..

Yes and we currently have her 6 nights per fortnight. If we take her for another night per week it will be 8 nights per fortnight.

OP posts:
noyoucannotcomein · 08/06/2020 14:43

We do usually, but at the moment we are having her from Tuesday eve to Thurs eve and Fri eve to Sat eve. So 3 days and 3 nights. We’ve been doing this since lockdown started and DP got furloughed.

I believe maintenance is worked out on the average nights over the year, so I don't think having her 1 or 2 nights extra for a few months would mean the ex paid the maintenance.

ShadowMane · 08/06/2020 14:50

i thought there were supermarket and delivery jobs around?

he need to be contributing to your household as much as his DC

Original poster
TazSyd · 08/06/2020 14:54

He was joking, he said it with a smile as we both know what reaction suggesting that would get - duck for cover.

The £300 he already pays doesn’t take into account the fact that we normally have her 2 nights per week. This is because DSD is 9, so it doesn’t cost us much to have her stay - an extra bit of food, a couple of extra showers.

He also hasn’t asked his ex if he could reduce the monthly maintenance due to his income dropping, due to furlough. Despite what some posters are suggesting, he isn’t an irresponsible father.

OP posts:
purpleboy · 08/06/2020 14:57

His child is his responsibility, he should be looking for ANY job available to him, I absolutely get the redundancy etc.. but any man worth his salt would think to himself £7 a week is not ok, I need to do whatever it takes to provide for my child, I will spend 12 hours a day looking and applying for jobs, I will work in McDonald's, or stack shelves or anything else that means I can provide for my child, if he is doing that and getting nowhere then fair enough, but if he isn't and is just sitting there expecting either a job to fall into his lap or his ex to be ok with his lack of effort then that is not ok.

Original poster
TazSyd · 08/06/2020 15:01

@ShadowMane

He is contributing to our household - he’s providing full time (Mon to Friday, 9-5:30) childcare for DD. He is also providing 3 days a week (Wed/Thurs/Sat) childcare to DSD.

OP posts:
NoHardSell · 08/06/2020 15:06

Others have asked - doesn't he have savings to cover this? I'd expect to use savings if made redundant. £7 is really taking the piss if he has savings. If he has none, first of all he should have! But if really he has none then maybe he borrows the £50 from you and pays you back later.
If I lost my job (likely) I wouldn't expect to be able to feed my kids on £14 a month. I'd use my savings. And take any job going.

NoHardSell · 08/06/2020 15:09

Sorry, £7/week

OllyBJolly · 08/06/2020 15:09

He is contributing to our household - he’s providing full time (Mon to Friday, 9-5:30) childcare for DD

Ah - okay. So if this is hindering him from finding work, and paying for his child, then it is only fair that the "household" make up some of the difference.

Original poster
TazSyd · 08/06/2020 15:12

@funinthesun19 @TeapotCollection @lunar1

I know that I’m not responsible but the idea is to shield DSD as much as possible. Thank you for your support though Smile.

I think @RandomMess is correct - we’ll explain the redundancy, when it is likely to impact and offer the CMS minimum of £7 per week, until he finds a job. We will also offer to take DSD for another day and night per week (so 4 days and nights per week) until DP finds another job. We will also ask her to let us know if DSD needs anything and we’ll see what we can contribute. We won’t mention the £50 per month extra we were thinking of. @lunar1 she will kick off anyway, so offering her £50 a month isn’t going to stop that.

OP posts:
okiedokieme · 08/06/2020 15:14

You aren't obliged to top it up but it's a nice gesture. The employment market is dire, I'm job hunting (relocating so do still have a job currently)! But there is work if he wants it, today I've seen dozens of job ads for carers, especially want men, so no reason why he can't find temporary work. There's no excuse to claim jsa and not pay maintenance if he can get employment, doing a job "beneath him" isn't an excuse.

Original poster
TazSyd · 08/06/2020 15:15

@OllyBJolly

DP is providing childcare for our household, so that I can work and pay the bills.

He is also providing 3 days per week childcare for DSD. DSD’s mother is also responsible for DSDs childcare. You seem to be suggesting that DP and I are 100% responsible for DSD but her mother should not have any responsibility.

OP posts:
AskingforaBaskin · 08/06/2020 15:15

So he's having her half the time?
Then no maintenance needs to be paid. Let her kick off and go to CMS. Based on an unemployed mans income she'll get nothing.

FatalSecrets · 08/06/2020 15:18

He is also providing 3 days per week childcare for DSD. DSD’s mother is also responsible for DSDs childcare

What does the ex do?

If it were me I would appreciate an offer of a fulltime childcare from 9.00 to 5.00 inline with what he's doing for his other children so I could try and increase my income to make up for the fall in maintenance.

Otherwise, I think the idea of lending your husband some money so he can meet his obligations to his first child is a good idea.

NoHardSell · 08/06/2020 15:19

That's pretty appalling

Really ... no savings to cushion this? How many months is he expecting to be unemployed?

How could he possibly offer £7 a week? I'd die of shame. And work in any job in order not to do that if at all possible.

I'd see any man who found that acceptable in a whole new light I have to say.

hulahoopqueen · 08/06/2020 15:21

I think in this scenario I would not volunteer yourself as the source of the CM - the expectation could potentially follow in the future to anticipate your income being included in the general available income from which the maintenance from DSD should be calculated - not somewhere you want to be. I think tell her you are going to go through CMS officially, and offer the amount that that would bring, and then wait to see how you go. If DH is going to be furloughed, he can provide full childcare during that time, which takes that responsibility off the ex’s hands

rebecca102 · 08/06/2020 15:23

Does he spend more than that a week on the child you share? 7!?? That's pathetic.

Original poster
TazSyd · 08/06/2020 15:24

@AskingforaBaskin. @fatalsecrets

Yes, since lockdown began we (well he, as I am working full time, so I’m not providing any day time childcare to either DSD or DD), have had DSD for 3 days and 3 nights a week. So, DPs ex has her for four days and nights. When we have the conversation about redundancy reducing maintenance with DOs ex, we will offer to have DSD for another day and night per week - so 4 days and nights per week.

OP posts:
noyoucannotcomein · 08/06/2020 15:26

So he's having her half the time?
Then no maintenance needs to be paid. Let her kick off and go to CMS. Based on an unemployed mans income she'll get nothing.

Now he is. That's not normally the case, and CM is calculated on the yearly average

Bollss · 08/06/2020 15:27

If he's having her 50% of the time he doesn't need to pay anyway, surely if he is made redundant he can carry on doing this? Then when he finds a job if it goes back to the usual arrangement he can pay maintenance again?

NoHardSell · 08/06/2020 15:29

As you know, it's not the cost of a few meals at home that is the main cost of bringing up a child. The daytime childcare sounds a better offer. Poor child. Can't he at least save some money over the next two months? Genuinely pathetic if he has zero savings but two children. Very irresponsible. I still can't get over the £7 a week to be honest. I'd be mortified. That's the entire point of savings when you have kids - to cushion the blow.