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Original poster

Redundancy and Child Maintenance

999 replies

TazSyd · 08/06/2020 12:23

DP is currently furloughed and found out last week that he is at risk of redundancy. He has been expecting this and thinks that there is a high chance that he will be made redundant. He’s been there less than 2 years, so will only be paid 1 month notice and accrued holiday pay. As he lives with me he will only be entitled to £75 a week contributions based benefits.

We have a DD together and he also has another daughter who lives with her mum but stays with us 2 nights a week (in normal times). One weeknight and also on a Friday night and Saturday day - we pick her up from school on Friday and drop her back at her mum’s after dinner on a Saturday. As DP has been furloughed, we (well he, as I have been working from home so haven’t done much childcare during the day for either DD or DSD) have been having her more often - more like a 50/50 split. Despite his drop in income and the increase in childcare, he hasn’t reduced the maintenance he pays to his ex.

I’ve spoken to a couple of recruiter friends and they’ve said that the employment market has picked up a bit but realistically they aren’t expecting it to pick up properly until September. So DP could well be unemployed for a few months.

DP will pay £7 per week out of his JSA to his ex but this is a lot less than he currently pays (£300 per month). I know I have no legal responsibility for DSD but should I top up the maintenance to DPs ex?

OP posts:
Original poster
TazSyd · 19/06/2020 19:44

@NoHardSell

We aren’t married and you spelt cheque wrong.

OP posts:
NoHardSell · 19/06/2020 19:50

[quote TazSyd]@NoHardSell

We aren’t married and you spelt cheque wrong.[/quote]
Oooh burn Grin

It's perhaps a more Americanised version

Thank God at least you aren't married

No I am of a modern school where both parents provide for their children. And also have savings. I know you have great disdain for her, I just don't see how you don't for him as well. Thank God your daughter has at least one parent able to budget.

Bollss · 19/06/2020 19:54

Thank God your daughter has at least one parent able to budget

Are you unable to read or just deliberately ignoring the facts here? You're making yourself look silly.

NoHardSell · 19/06/2020 19:57

@TrustTheGeneGenie

Thank God your daughter has at least one parent able to budget

Are you unable to read or just deliberately ignoring the facts here? You're making yourself look silly.

The fact that he had to spend his entire savings on a tax bill he didn't realise he had?

Do you do your own tax return rather than paye? That is a massive massive fuckup. If it's true.

Original poster
TazSyd · 19/06/2020 19:57

No I am of a modern school where both parents provide for their children.

I agree. DSD has two parents. I am not one of those parents.

In your opinion, should I stop contributing anything towards DSD? That would make her life pretty miserable though - no food, showers and broadband at ours. No swimming lessons or Art Club. No more holidays for DSD ( because her mother won’t make up the shortfall from 60/40 I usually pay).

OP posts:
Bollss · 19/06/2020 20:00

The fact that he had to spend his entire savings on a tax bill he didn't realise he had?

Everyone makes mistakes. I couldn't get het up about this. He covered it with his savings. Panic over. Not his fault Corona then hit.

It must be very nice being perfect.

NoHardSell · 19/06/2020 20:00

@TazSyd

No I am of a modern school where both parents provide for their children.

I agree. DSD has two parents. I am not one of those parents.

In your opinion, should I stop contributing anything towards DSD? That would make her life pretty miserable though - no food, showers and broadband at ours. No swimming lessons or Art Club. No more holidays for DSD ( because her mother won’t make up the shortfall from 60/40 I usually pay).

No, I don't think you should pay anything and I honestly think you would be better off (and obviously financially would be) without someone who can't save, had a child with someone who is equally in debt, and has zero to fall back on.
Juliet2014 · 19/06/2020 20:03

* The fact that he had to spend his entire savings on a tax bill he didn't realise he had?*

He either cocked up fairly significantly
Or his savings were pretty meagre

NoHardSell · 19/06/2020 20:04

Seriously. Even now, today, this man has a job that started out on this thread as reasonably well paid. Why are you funding everything? Why are you paying for clubs and holidays? Is he actually on minimum wage / nearly already?

Bollss · 19/06/2020 20:05

@NoHardSell

Seriously. Even now, today, this man has a job that started out on this thread as reasonably well paid. Why are you funding everything? Why are you paying for clubs and holidays? Is he actually on minimum wage / nearly already?
That clarifies it. You clearly cannot read. Op has already explained this.
scotsllb · 19/06/2020 20:12

I can't believe this is still going but op you are still banging on about how superior you think you are.
You earn more than your dp too who can't afford his kids now either.
Why are reliant in these situations? Again because it takes 2. 2 made the baby 2 pay.

Going it alone and promoting the independent women don't need a mans money is all good and well until it comes to expecting them to meet their financial responsibilities regardless.

Kids cost and it's no different who's better off it's not a single outgoing to just one parent.

What makes him better than his ex? Why a fanny tax? Why not a feckless parent tax regardless of gender.
Has the ex actually made a grab for your money?
Id be ashamed to be so blatantly sneering.
Let's hope life doesn't deal you a shit a hand and you end up in a housing association house one day.

Shinebright72 · 19/06/2020 20:14

@NoHardSell

Seriously. Even now, today, this man has a job that started out on this thread as reasonably well paid. Why are you funding everything? Why are you paying for clubs and holidays? Is he actually on minimum wage / nearly already?
If he was paying £300 a month for his other child he can’t of been on min wage! He must earn a decent amount..
NoHardSell · 19/06/2020 20:15

Go on then. What was the reason why his salary isn't spent on his child's expenses but the op's salary is? Does he even now not pay his own way? Seriously op - what does he bring to the party?

Bollss · 19/06/2020 20:17

@NoHardSell

Go on then. What was the reason why his salary isn't spent on his child's expenses but the op's salary is? Does he even now not pay his own way? Seriously op - what does he bring to the party?
It is, dimwit.
NoHardSell · 19/06/2020 20:19

Yes my assumption has been £300 = reasonable salary. Apparently it was £210 cms and he pays more than the minimum. Now I wonder if he just lives off the op and she's always been funding the cms and he's really just on min wage. Hence no savings, no financial buffer.

NoHardSell · 19/06/2020 20:23

So he spends all his money then needs to start cutting into his new partners as well to fund his lifestyle? Oh dear. It's a good job she must earn a reasonable wage to run an ex wife, a step daughter, a cock lodger and her own child. And still save. I'd be wondering if the load might not be lightened a bit there by cutting loose the man, and the ex, and the sd, poor thing with two feckless parents. Apparently.

Original poster
TazSyd · 19/06/2020 20:24

I can't believe this is still going but op you are still banging on about how superior you think you are.
You earn more than your dp too who can't afford his kids now either.

Firstly, I can afford my child. That child that I chose to have. I can afford her, without handouts from other women, or other people’s taxes (unlike you). That is because I chose not to have a child until I was financially stable. Unlike @scotsllb

Going it alone and promoting the independent women don't need a mans money is all good and well until it comes to expecting them to meet their financial responsibilities regardless.

Agreed. A lot of the admin staff at work call themselves independent women. They gather round for a drink on a Friday to congratulate themselves. Half their income is from benefits. Independent women indeed, independent women who rely on the taxpayer for food.

OP posts:
funinthesun19 · 19/06/2020 20:26

But that's a moot point because op is on the scene

No it’s not moot because being on the scene doesn’t = liable to pay maintenance. So it needs to be treated as if there is no OP and no OP’s money.
So I ask again, what would they do without op? Because that’s exactly what they should be aiming for.

NoHardSell · 19/06/2020 20:28

Going to be hard when your dp is on benefits hey.
Shame your dp didn't follow your example and have children he could financially afford. Thank goodness he found you instead.

NoHardSell · 19/06/2020 20:30

@funinthesun19

But that's a moot point because op is on the scene

No it’s not moot because being on the scene doesn’t = liable to pay maintenance. So it needs to be treated as if there is no OP and no OP’s money.
So I ask again, what would they do without op? Because that’s exactly what they should be aiming for.

God knows what they would do. They rely on her already to pay for holidays and clubs for their child. Neither has any savings. At least the mother has a job so that's something. Thank goodness for the op. A one woman benefits system.
Juliet2014 · 19/06/2020 20:31

* Firstly, I can afford my child. That child that I chose to have. I can afford her, without handouts from other women, or other people’s taxes (unlike you).*

Shame your DP can’t say the same.

scotsllb · 19/06/2020 20:31

Look at the contempt ripping out you.
I'm sure you just hate women in general.
What a way to speak about people.
You can afford your own child but your DP can't afford his so why have you picked a male equivalent of the type of women you hate?

scotsllb · 19/06/2020 20:34

And no one wants women's handout they want the father of their child to pay their part. Where that part comes from is here nor there

scotsllb · 19/06/2020 20:35

Posted too soon,
Your DP shouldn't have gone on to have more children with a woman who was unhappy helping meet his regular maintenance payments as a priority when shit hits the fan.
Nothing to do with the ex. I know you can't separate the 2 but there you go.

scotsllb · 19/06/2020 20:47

and finally to add.
Are you aware that many many women who have divorced or separated etc with children have been left for another woman, victim to domestic abuse or addiction etc.
These women who have very often sacrificed their own shot a career to allow the DH to do his by raising the kids at home and working a part time job.
Do these women, who suddenly find themselves at the mercy of the CSA calculator and no savings (since the couldn't accrue them as they were at home raising the family) deserve scorn and more upheaval?
I just cannot understand your warped views at all.