@palebluefringe I really hope you wouldn't tell the mother of a newborn that she knew what she was getting into. Because no, she didn't. Unless she had been tortured with sleep deprivation for a week at some point in her life, she absolutely did not know exactly what it would be like.
Also, the thing about narcissists and sociopaths is that they so rarely wear signs advertising what they are. It's a drip feed.
The vast body of witness tells most people that happy co-parenting relationships are possible, with some effort. Not a walk in the park, but no lion's den. However, the reality of co-parenting in a no conflict co-parenting relationship is also different from what I thought it would be.
I knew there would be hurdles, and difficulties.
Another issue I have with your posts is that you're using this thread, and this board as your evidence. Most people would only post if they had an issue to seek advice on. I'm not going to post a thread saying that we all had a barbeque, or ate ice cream in the garden, but I would post if DP's exw followed us around the supermarket (which she has done).
@Magda72, I think you posted about the lack of conversation around family court, and emotional abuse in the mainstream media. I posted a while back, under a different name, about having difficulty with DP. His exw was abusive, and it's only been in the last 6 months that he's started coming to terms with it. There was very little helpful advice, but a number of comments asking if I was sure he was the abused, not the abuser, he must be gaslighting me, she must have had reasons for her behaviour -maybe he was an alcoholic, a gambler, lazy, cheating - how could a woman have abused a man, why didn't he leave, and why isn't he just over it yet so many years later.
The system is broken. And it's designed to take a relationship that is already difficult, and make it even more inflammatory, and reactionary.