Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Kids at their dads

113 replies

Mum2Girls19 · 12/04/2020 14:20

Im not sure if this is the right place to put this..

I have 3 children with my ex partner, his relationship has always been a bit temperamental and getting him to have them without COVID was hard enough
Now I just feel that its an excuse not to have them?

I suggested they spend a month with us and then perhaps a month with them, its hard both me and my husband are working from home full time and also got the girls
He hasnt rung to see how they are or text or made any attempt to see them

Now I get that we should be walking round outside and about mixing families but his other half has been fur longed so I dont understand why the kids cant stay with them a few weeks and then with us.

I havent got an offer to furlong and so still have to work.
Plus we dont know how long this will go on for, I dont understand why its our sole responsibility to have the children
What can I suggest as an option to help all of us?

Any suggestions would be welcome

OP posts:

SandyY2K · 19/04/2020 01:51

Your Ex's partner sounds bloody awful. Who does she think she is saying no money for your children.

Does he actually know what she's been saying to you?

It isn't her responsibility to look after your kids and it's not her place to say he will not psy child support.

It's also not your DDs responsibility to babysit a 3 year old.

From the timings, it seems like she was the OW...getting together days after you split sounds very suspicious.

That would make sense as to why she behaves like she does...she's jealous and insecure...she knows what he's capable of.

Having said that, your ex needs to step up and be involved with his children...it's not fair to them and it's damaging to then as well.

humanvision123 · 19/04/2020 12:39

Why your ex did not believe that children are his? Did you see other guys when you had your children?

Original poster

Mum2Girls19 · 20/04/2020 09:04

@humanvision123
no his girlfriend put doubts in his ears even though she wasnt there when we had our previous children , she is very jealous and insecure.

@SandyY2K
Yes he knows he is there in the room with her when she says these things, hes quite spineless tbh

OP posts:

AintNoMaryPoppins · 20/04/2020 09:31

Your husband's partner sounds shit but this is all on your ex OP. He is their father. It is up to him to tell his partner that she doesn't get to stop him paying for or seeing his kids.

He is being the biggest turd here. Stop focusing on her. Any decent parent would tell someone to fuck off if they were saying what his partner has allegedly said.

humanvision123 · 20/04/2020 09:38

You only can put doubts in someone heads if there is any room for it. There is nothing I could say or do that would make my DP to consider that his child (with his ex) isn't his. And they even did not live together when the baby was conceived.
The reason why your ex started to doubt must exist.
And its probably the reason why he dont want to talk to you much.
It seems like you had an affair that ended your relationship.

Morgan12 · 20/04/2020 09:50

I wouldn't be allowing him to see my children. He doesn't want them. They may aswell be told just now and save heartache down the line.

Original poster

Mum2Girls19 · 20/04/2020 12:26

@humanvision123
How dare you judge me...
I've never cheated on him even when he was a shit I stuck it out and then when we separated and he got his new partner within a week of moving out might i add, I coped alone with 3 kids.
His partner is devious and awful and he is weak.

Might I add that the DNA test came back perfect but he still isnt paying

OP posts:

Teenangels · 20/04/2020 12:53

@Mum2Girls19 have got anymore children?

You seem to be focusing on your ex's partner, please stop you have moved on and are happy.... you do not need to even allow this person to control your feelings but that is what you are doing.

I will say again you are completely unreasonable to demand that your ex has the kids for a month.

IndecentFeminist · 20/04/2020 16:13

She's not demanding a month. She has suggested all sorts of times, including a month so the kids aren't going backwards and forwards.

As for assuming an affair 😂🤦‍♀️

Original poster

Mum2Girls19 · 20/04/2020 17:37

@IndecentFeminist

Exactly that...exactly all that sentence....
Thankyou

@Teenangels
Yes I have a child with my husband and 3 children with my ex, I am not being unreasonable for my kids dad to watch his kids regardless of time lengths...He is their father and he should have them as much as I do..

OP posts:

Howaboutanewname · 20/04/2020 22:04

@humanvision123. Wow. Utterly without vision. Or any kind of decency. One of the oldest tricks in the book is to pull the ‘the children aren’t mine’ card out of the pack. Happened to me. It was convenient for him because I was pregnant and he had, undoubtedly, fed her the ‘we never sleep together’ bull shit. Unfortunately whilst there are women around happy to believe the blatant lies, men like this will have a reason to go on lying. Your response is out of order and you owe the O
an apology. Utterly disgusting.

Original poster

Mum2Girls19 · 10/05/2020 09:38

Update...
Since this post happened.

CMS have got in touch and explained that they have applied for an attachment of earnings at beginning of March of 17% plus arrears.
Ex has had the same letter as his gf rang and said I was ruining her life by allowing the cms to proceed, I asked to speak to him not her, she hung up.

I havent heard of either of them which is sad.
Kids havent mentioned them or continued conversation when I've brought it up.
Very bitter sweet, some people just dont deserve children.

OP posts:

Cabinfever10 · 12/05/2020 00:52

Plus a 20% handling fee. That's going to be quite a large chunk of his wages, add that to the 20% pay drop she has taken (being furloughed) and things will be quite tight financially for them I would imagine.
It's a shame for the children in their house but if she hadn't been such a bitch and him a useless spinless twat of a father and paid for his dc over the last dot years he not only wouldn't have had to pay the arrears and handling fee but I'm sure that you would have come to an arraignment over it during this time. Also if he actually had his DC he wouldn't have to pay so much cms.
You reep what you sow 🤷‍♀️🤣

Flip

1 2 3 4 5