Was I unreasonable? Took step kids out.

[WhatTheFuckityFuck]

Try to keep it brief.

I've been looking after my step kids pretty much every day since lockdown, during both DHs and ex's contact days as I am the only one WFH and they are keyworkers so wanted to help out as much as poss. This has obviously included school work etc..

I've been taking them on a small walk at lunch times, avoiding people obviously. We live in a rural area so very very rarely meet anyone on the way and if we do we keep strictly to the distancing rules. I don't take them out other than this. Do all shopping etc on my own when DH is home with them.

Anyway ex has gone mental saying I shouldn't be taking them out of the house at all without checking first, she doesn't want them going anywhete etc etc (my DH knows full well that I have been doing).

AIBU? I'm following the guidance, getting them out for a walk and some exercise and keeping away from others. I'm not completely thick. I feel like saying if she doesn't trust me to look after them on her days then she can send them to school. I'm trying to be as helpful as possible but I've barely even had a thank you and all I've had now is a load of ranting and raving.

Ps. Been around for a long time, usually get on alright with their mum other than a couple of issues similar to this in the past i.e. wanting me to look after them when it suits but then moaning when I do.

I agree Alexa. I think a lot of people are going through very difficult times at the moment, far more so than my family. All any of us can do is try to do our bit to help, however we can. I am, of course, always more than happy to be disagreed with

Cohle. Best wishes to you and your husband. 💐

YANBU. Can't believe people actually think someone shouldn't have to show gratitude to the person caring for their kids all day FOR FREE.

You sound far too nice and completely taken for granted.

I think you’ve replied in a proportionate, sensible way.
I can sort of understand why she was upset, but a) I think it’s an emotional rather than rational fear and b) she could have explained it made her really scared due to what she is seeing at work and entered into a polite and reasonable discussion.

It never ceases to amaze me the lengths people will go to defend the mum on these boards.

When I have DC's friends over, I always check with the Mum before taking them out just out of courtesy and consideration. I find the same happens when DC goes to play at others..... I don't find this a big effort myself. I'd be mortified if I'd made another Mum uncomfortable especially at time like this. It's not inconceivable to me that someone else might have a different and equally valid view to mine.

Seems like the BM assumed the children were indoors and she panicked when she realized they were going out. Possibly frightened by seeing people in pretty bad shape (or worse). Don't all Mum's worry (often irrationally) about their children even in normal times?? Not the best approach from the BM granted and also not ideal for OP to be defensive even if also totally understandable OP feels hurt by the response as it could be interpreted as a lack of trust when OP feels she is doing the Mum a favour.. Honestly who has, or can be expected to have, perfect reactions right now?

I'd cut her some slack and try and to understand how she's feeling vs take it personally. A little empathy & consideration always go a long way. We all need it sometimes, now days more than ever.