I’ve been with my DP for just over 18 months. He was separated for four years prior to meeting me, but stuck in an abusive coercive control situation (with DV incidents with police involvement). He’s now a year into a high conflict divorce with his Ex - now having to take her to court as she refuses to progress financial matters. Seems his Ex will do whatever it takes to prevent the divorce from happening.
He looks after his 13 year old daughter 10-12 nights a month, when his Ex is working. His Ex is often difficult about handover timings and constantly sends him abusive texts and emails. She has told appalling lies to their daughter about me and my kids, some of which his daughter has questioned and now knows that her mother has lied about us.
When he told his daughter about me (after 6 months) she was initially happy and keen to meet all of us. But as soon as his Ex found out he’d told her ...all hell broke loose. We waited 8 months before meeting up and had a nice day out all together - but as soon as she got home the Ex kicked off screaming and shouting down the phone at both of them - and so we have only seen her a couple of times since - and only very briefly. Any attempt to meet up is now prevented/derailed.
He spoke to his daughter about meeting up again recently and it seems that she would rather pretend we don’t exist. I’m guessing because it’s just easier - not to deal with any further fallout from her mother.
My partner now lives his life in two parts. His time with his daughter and his time with me and my two children. He finds doing things together with me and my kids difficult, so we tend not to: he won’t go to the cinema with us and even finds shopping trips together difficult. My kids are 13 and 17 so it’s easy enough to do things separately.
I’m obviously very sad about this situation and all the unnecessary damage and pain caused by one very jealous controlling person.
If we have to continue living our lives in two parts then I’ll make the best of it. We love each other very much and we intend to live together at some point (obviously impossible right now).
I’m just wondering if anyone has any advice / experience of this?