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Step-parenting

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Original poster

Why would a mother do this ?

141 replies

SharonMitchellsBaby · 18/08/2019 13:50

Currently on holiday with DH and his 2 children . SD is 15 and her Mum sent a message on the day before we were leaving to ask if we would do laundry that night for the daughter . WTF ? Daughter had been away at a sports camp for the week in the UK BUT not the same clothes she would need for here in hot climate .Mother claims she doesn't have drying space where she currently lives.
Why would you do this ? Why would you not encourage SD to be packed and ready to go at the beginning of the week ? When my DH queried it she said she would tell SD we couldn't do it . Why would you do that ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

WizardOfAus · 18/08/2019 16:56

Sharon. Sharon. Sharon.

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret · 18/08/2019 19:27

Neck a Sangria Sharon and chill the fuck out is my advice!

hsegfiugseskufh · 18/08/2019 19:29

Because shes lazy imo.

How does she dry everyone elses clothes?

But, this is mn and you'll be told the sun shines out of her arse, so get on with her laundry and accept being the cinders like 2nd wife that you are.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 18/08/2019 20:12

Why hasn’t she got enough clothes at her dads for a holiday? I’d expect him to provide the wardrobe for it.

Rachelover40 · 18/08/2019 20:12

You only have to shove a couple of loads in the washing machine, op, hardly a huge task!

Who knows, you might be glad of a helping hand yourself at some time in the future. Don't be mean! Think about it, if you're going to be sour about it, your step daughter will be highly embarrassed. Just do it and forget it. However, the girl herself should really be able to do laundry at 15, if she doesn't, teach her! Teaching is part of parenting.

feathermucker · 18/08/2019 20:14

Just do the wash instead of nitpicking.

It's nice and it's the right thing to do.

mordecaithomas · 18/08/2019 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

hsegfiugseskufh · 18/08/2019 20:49

Whys that, thomas?

You do realise step mothers arent all identical dont you?

Or are womens opinion only valid when they pushed the baby out themselves?

pikapikachu · 18/08/2019 20:50

I bet the 15yo didn't put a wash on or something.

She's 15- she knows that she needs to wash clothes for holiday and pack unless she has significant sn that you haven't mentioned?

If you didn't want to do it then you should have delegated the task to your h or said no but in reality how hard is an extra wash?

sue51 · 18/08/2019 20:58

Just shove it in the machine or better still, get DSD or her father to do it.

Ragwort · 18/08/2019 21:03

I have a friend who gets absolutely neurotic about her DC’s laundry, she & her exDH are divorced, the time and effort spent on arguing whose responsibility it was to do the DC’s laundry was pathetic.

Ginger1982 · 18/08/2019 21:08

Do you have kids?

Timandra · 18/08/2019 21:45

Why on earth would her father not help her to wash her clothes or even wash them for her?

Have you made her come in holiday with dirty clothes to wear?

Halo1234 · 18/08/2019 21:52

But why does the responsibility become her mothers and not her fathers. U are going to enjoy a family holiday with her. I assume u helped her pack for that? And washed her holiday clothes for her holiday with u or your dh did? It's not big deal to wash your dsd clothes. Dont see why u wouldnt.

hsegfiugseskufh · 18/08/2019 21:56

Because the clothes from the trip werent the ones that needed washing. Ie theyve probably been sat there whilst she was on the trip so mum had plenty of time to wash them but chose not to. Thats why its her responsibility.

If they had needed the clothes from the trip, id say ok not ideal but i get it but i dont think thats the case here.

Maybe83 · 18/08/2019 21:56

Well it's her dads responsibility to make sure she is sorted for a holiday with you.

Did you both organise her for her camp away? Or was that down to her mum?

Battenburg1978 · 18/08/2019 22:03

If she is going on hols with you and her dad surely it’s up to you both to sort out her clothes/pack her for it? I would expect a 15 year old to know what they want to pack/possibly pack but it’s not straightforward moving between 2 houses and definitely not straightforward for her to pop a load of laundry on as if she just stayed in one house. I say this as a step (ish - not married to partner) Mum. If DSD is going away with us I’d be happy to request she brings certain things but otherwise it’s down to us to sort.

hsegfiugseskufh · 18/08/2019 22:06

How can they sort out dirty clothes that are at her mums house?

Or are they supposed to buy an entirely new holiday wardrobe so mum doesnt have to switch the washer on?

cookingonwine · 18/08/2019 22:09

Why doesn't DSS have clothes at yours for the holiday? Clearly the mother is stating you can have the clothes for camp for the holiday but you are not getting anything else. Just a thought 🙄

Maybe83 · 18/08/2019 22:13

I dont buy clothes for holiday her dad is taking her on.

His holiday he sorts it out.

My holiday I sort it out.

hsegfiugseskufh · 18/08/2019 22:14

How pathetic. I cant imagine telling dss he cant take his own clothes to his mums with him. I also cant imagine asking her to do my washing when i couldn't be arsed though so!

Maybe83 · 18/08/2019 22:19

I dont tell her she cant take her clothes. That might suit your evil 1st wife narrative though (even though I was neither).

She can take what she wants if she wants but suitcase is packed at his from his home and he does her holiday shopping.

As I do here and my dh always did for my step son. I dont expect his mother to plan pack and buy for a holiday we have chosen and payed for.

I dont generally holiday in the same type if destinations as ex so she wouldnt always have the right stuff here anyway.

hsegfiugseskufh · 18/08/2019 22:22

But youre effectively saying she cant take clothes from your house to his house? Its weird.

Im not saying youre evil im just thinking i couldnt be fucking arsed being so petty.

Im not saying you should pack or buy specifically for holidays her at all im just saying her clothes should be allowed to go wherever she does.

Maybe83 · 18/08/2019 22:37

I didn't say that at all.

I said his holiday he sorts.

Did you miss the she can take what she wants when she wants bit? He discusses were they are going and what she might need.

Shes 17 she is perfectly capable of deciding what she wants to bring her dad then he takes her shopping for the rest.

Why would that make me evil anyway .

Or was it fact that I'm also a step mother that threw you a bit?

Maybe since dh and I have one each and a joint child our perspectives are a bit different. He didnt need his ex s help and enjoys organising holidays with and for ss and doesnt see it as his ex responsibility to organise it. Neither do I with mine.

It's not like if ss turned up with his favourite football kit he is told he cant take it!

If you are happy to leave your child other parent to organise the child for your holiday I dont think you can complain at being asked to organise some clothes in this scenario!

Anyway since ss is an adult and dd nearly we just count ourselves lucky enough they still like going away with us!.

hsegfiugseskufh · 18/08/2019 22:41

I didnt call you evil!

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